Army Thread POETS Day 7th March
Hey Molls:l
That's exactly what it feels like- naked in room full of people! Horrible horrible feeling- one Ive been aware off from childhood- remember sitting in Mass afraid to nearly breath thinking all eyes were on me- could not be normal! Rational brain says of course everyone's not watching you etc.. but the other part of brain screams insecurity! And yes drink does take that feeling away for a while, yet I know the repercussions of using it for just one or two social occasions will not solve anything in grand scheme of things only cause more trouble. I gotta feel the fear and do it anyway, right? Time to suck-up and grow the fuck up and learn to brave these situations! Ok so where's me big girl britches?!
Time to head home now- hopefully get a wee shout-in later xx
p.s. thanks for being there xx
mollyka;1635255 wrote: Afternoon Mrsa --- lovely new kit hen et.al!!!! Lovely!!
Well little Tweets --- as I said to you -- all those feelings last night were very normal to encounter from time to time --- and as things happened it could have been the 'perfect storm' --- you know HALT and boot full of booze and all those feelings of inadequacy and social awkwardness etc etc all seemed to be balled up into one big piece of shit!!!
I'm still not comfortable in social situations --- and it's not other's drinking - and it's not that I want to drink --- it's the - almost feeling naked walking into a room full of people - sort of feeling -- the lack of the crutch is mighty -- the drink was the passport to feeling comfortable, smart, funny and confident -- and YES --- it DID do that -- no point in pretending it didn't -- but the repercussions for us in the rest of our lives to compensate for those few socially awkward moments --- well, they just don't balance up --- the 'rest of our lives' is probably 90% of the time - so that's what we must remember when the 'crutch' conversation comes up in our heads.
With each and every social occasion (not that there's very many!!!) I grow stronger and more capable -- but - yeah -- still not GREAT????!!!! But THEN --- I am so shy it just isn't funny -- so I'm guessing the impact in those situations is particularly obvious for me....... I just KNOW it is a price to pay --- and a very tiny weeeeeny wee price to pay in a very happy life of sobriety -- and then I'm comfortable with that..... dunno if that's of any interest in any way shape or form haha!!!
Well little Tweets --- as I said to you -- all those feelings last night were very normal to encounter from time to time --- and as things happened it could have been the 'perfect storm' --- you know HALT and boot full of booze and all those feelings of inadequacy and social awkwardness etc etc all seemed to be balled up into one big piece of shit!!!
I'm still not comfortable in social situations --- and it's not other's drinking - and it's not that I want to drink --- it's the - almost feeling naked walking into a room full of people - sort of feeling -- the lack of the crutch is mighty -- the drink was the passport to feeling comfortable, smart, funny and confident -- and YES --- it DID do that -- no point in pretending it didn't -- but the repercussions for us in the rest of our lives to compensate for those few socially awkward moments --- well, they just don't balance up --- the 'rest of our lives' is probably 90% of the time - so that's what we must remember when the 'crutch' conversation comes up in our heads.
With each and every social occasion (not that there's very many!!!) I grow stronger and more capable -- but - yeah -- still not GREAT????!!!! But THEN --- I am so shy it just isn't funny -- so I'm guessing the impact in those situations is particularly obvious for me....... I just KNOW it is a price to pay --- and a very tiny weeeeeny wee price to pay in a very happy life of sobriety -- and then I'm comfortable with that..... dunno if that's of any interest in any way shape or form haha!!!
That's exactly what it feels like- naked in room full of people! Horrible horrible feeling- one Ive been aware off from childhood- remember sitting in Mass afraid to nearly breath thinking all eyes were on me- could not be normal! Rational brain says of course everyone's not watching you etc.. but the other part of brain screams insecurity! And yes drink does take that feeling away for a while, yet I know the repercussions of using it for just one or two social occasions will not solve anything in grand scheme of things only cause more trouble. I gotta feel the fear and do it anyway, right? Time to suck-up and grow the fuck up and learn to brave these situations! Ok so where's me big girl britches?!
Time to head home now- hopefully get a wee shout-in later xx
p.s. thanks for being there xx
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