Why is there Relapse after long-term sobriety and how to cope?

[treetops]

Thought I would re-start this old question. I am posting on the general forum instead of just the abs forum because its of importance to all on MWO.
I am well into my second year of being sober and as I say often, am conscious of being vigilant and self-aware of what would happen should I drink again. It would be a slow decline into the abyss for me - not an intense binge - because thats the way I am. Since my mountain climbing skills are not so good as I get older I have no intention of slipping back down there!

Questions folks - and add new ones as they come up. I am interested here in responses about your experience and thoughts - not so much what the 'experts' and studies say.

After really great long-term sobriety and embracing a positive AF life - what caused you to relapse? Was it a sudden awful crisis? Slow build up of a crisis or tension?
Were you bored? Complacent?
Thought you could just have a few? (actually I doubt that many long term abstainers would think that).
Cravings came back? Why this time after so long?

Or what stopped you from the relapse?
Or Did you 'dust off' and get back into sobriety quickly?
How did you deal with the shame - because I see that as a serious consequence - that can lead to the slip becoming a return to drinking long-term?
(I won't ask if it was fun and of no consequence as I don't want to enable.

Looking forward to a stimulating discussion that I hope will be productive.
It worries me when I read of folk who have put so much AF time in - and then start drinking again - or have to deal with cravings that are causing them lots of pain.

[red67]

Why is there Relapse after long-term sobriety and how to cope?

What Molly said......and

I absolutely can never ever take my sobriety for granted. I am not cured and never will be. Everyday I remind myself where I am and how I got here. This is a lifelong battle fought one day at a time with no days off. Sounds like alot of work, but as time goes by it's really a routine I follow everyday. I used to spend way more time drinking and thinking about drinking and covering up my drinking. Nowadays it's part of my daily ritual to keep my focus on my sobriety. If I feel tempted in anyway I start the process of correcting those thoughts with the plans I put in place. I think it thru to the end and what I will feel like during and after. I come here and read and read and read some more to reinforce my sober brain. And if all else fails I eat til the craving goes away.

I have to win everyday, AL only needs to win one time to take over and I will fight as hard as I can for that to never happen.

[bettygirl]

Why is there Relapse after long-term sobriety and how to cope?

good responses!

I was sober for 7 months on 2007 and relapsed when I visited family that are heavy (alcoholic) drinkers. I didn't have the defense against relapse yet. I wasn't "invested" in my sobriety, didn't have support, and was basically "white knuckling" my way through. I was vulnerable, and I relapsed. I drank heavier than ever for the next 5 years until October of 2012 when I got the support I needed (for me that is AA for now). I go to meetings here and there now days, but for the first 6-ish months, I went daily. I am reminded at those meetings where I could end up, if I don't maintain my mental health (AA would call it spiritual health, but that's not me ) and I get the support of a fellowship of folks who understand how alcohol affects me, and who are willing to support me through any hardships I might face on my sober living journey. it's not a perfect program, but it's all I have right now. as they say, I take what I need and leave the rest. as time has gone on, it has gotten much easier, and I feel like I do have a defense against relapse, even if it is just making the decision not to put myself in a position where I might drink. I didn't feel I could say no the last time I relapsed, now my sobriety is THE MOST IMPORTANT thing, without it, I have NO LIFE

[K9Lover]

Why is there Relapse after long-term sobriety and how to cope?

As someone that just went through this a few days ago...I can't honestly pinpoint exactly WHAT got to me after 2+ years. All I know is I drank ONE night and that was enough for me. It all came rushing back...everything I was tired of. The anxiety and shame. Regret and embarrassment. Painful body the next day. Blackout and not remembering. There was not ONE good thing about it. Hopefully this can help someone else avoid what I just went through...

[Poppykin123]

Why is there Relapse after long-term sobriety and how to cope?

I stopped drinking on my own for 7 months. I went to France on holiday as we do every year! This is always very stressful at the beginning of the holiday as both my son and husband have autism! So I decided I would just drink while on holiday! Within 5 days I was drink 2 bottles of wine a day! 6 months and 3 bottles of wine a day later on 18/02/13 I walked into an AA meeting and my life is unrecognisable. I come onto this forum and read the new posts which gives me hope and courage. I wake up every day with a clear head and I don't feel hate and self pity. The biggest change is I react to situations like a grown up and not a two year old. I deal with my problems as the arise and I've stopped being afraid! I'm not sure what the fear was all about! I have bad days and boring days but I recognise that's just life and I find a way to move forward. I love the little things, spending time with my family and being available to help and support them! I can honestly say at 46 years old that this is the happiest time in my life and I am so grateful everyday.

[treetops]

Why is there Relapse after long-term sobriety and how to cope?

Great responses here.
Any comments from the long termers who nearly relapsed but didn't ?
Anything new to add.