Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

[Guest]

Hi, Well I am not really sure what to say except that I am not sure where I am heading at this moment. You guys have all been great! But where am I going? I last for what 24 days or whatever and then slip! Then I last for awhile and then slip!
Tonight my most gorgeous daughter who has been this world for me got made manager of a fashion shop!
She has been aware I am not drinking but not for the reason why! (I am on a diet)
This kid ran away from home at 15 years old and broke my heart, the police couldn?t help me and DOC?S wouldn?t either (it was not worth the money because she was too close to 16 years old).
And then when I look at this kid who ran away from home and was pregnant at 16 years old and THEN CAME BACK TO ME (I was soooo HaaaaPPPPYYYY)
Well I was overjoyed about her doing so well, but there must have been something in me more to make me want to drink?
I don?t know, to tell you the truth I just wanted to go back to the old times and forget!
I am shallow, empty and an awful person who I am starting to realize is so selfish as well!
Not good thoughts about yourself, believe me!
Anyway I don?t want to make this an epic, I just don?t really know where I am at this moment!
Has anybody who has dome abs been there?
I probably need the old-timers to give me this input.
Please can somebody reply!
Love Shas

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Sharyn;

I can so realate! Seems like I was only able to do abs for 30 days twice..Now, I can do abs 20 days or more...but day 25-30 starts "STINKIN DRINKIN THINKIN"....

The awesome part is that I've been here at MWO and since I started in Dec. 05, I've never gone back to the amount I was drinking when I started...

Hang in there, you've come so far and been an inspiration to all of us here!

Hugs
Brandy

PS..Be proud of your daughter and know that she is doing so wonderful in her career because she OBVIOUSLY, HAS A WONDERFUL MOTHER....

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Sharyn, Everyone thinks I'm on a diet too. I have to go exercise and cant let me be stuck here on the computer. But you're not the only one that slips up. Try not to beat yourself up to bad. We made an executive decision not to worry about the white chip thing and just move on. Please read day 25 on the abs board...we are all only human. Good thing is our conscience speaks to us. And you can tell we are listening cuz we are here posting. Whether we stay abs or controlled mod or have slip ups, we all have in common this thing called "keep on fightin, "keep on fightin".
gotta go sweat, gabby

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Sharyn,
Remember you still have those abs days under your belt. A slip is just a slip. Get right back up. I have watched your posts on the abs board and they have been so inspiring to me. I too have had a few slips but hope they will be a lesson for the future.
It isn't easy but it's worth it.
Hang in there.
Janet

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Ditto on all said.
Just know that this too shall pass...
I just did the "what kind of drinker are you" profile and learned something new about myself. It's pretty interesting how drinking effects us . It takes some of the shame and self hatred out to read it.
Keep talking and know that you are :h here!

Remember the old tv spot that the lady says "I've fallen and I can't get up"? We all feel that way from time to time. Heres a :d to help you up!

Nancy

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Shas,

Now THAT'S what I'm talking about! Good ole fashioned honest post there, girl..Thanks for sharing! And ya know what? You're ok. You are NORMAL... Well, as normal as the rest of us sick puppies in here... OK, so you drank after periods of abs. So what? We're alcoholics here. Drinking's what we know how to do... It's that creepy "dealing with real life" stuff that's sometimes near impossible for us.

Soooo let's think about this... You have how many abs days behind you total? Out of how many days? Sounds like progress to me, girl. Progress, NOT perfection is a reasonable goal.

And just for the record... I'm officially taking my *ss out of the tote bag and am giving it to you today! 'Cuz when your *ss falls off, ya just gotta pick it up, put it in a bag and take it with you! Sorry, you're gonna have to get your own WTF bumper sticker though 'cuz mine's firmly planted on my *ss!

Love ya (((SHAS)))

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Oh geeeeeeeees! Shas? LMAO! I'm not giving you my *ss... Just the tote bag to put yours in....

Laughing here.... I REALLY gotta learn to edit

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Ah com'on Jane,
I thought this place was gettin cooler, and cooler. Not only did we get to come here and get all this grand support while we were makin all this A-1 progress....but we got to give up our a##'s too. Oh please, please, please, someone please take mine. There's at least gotta be a folder for it somewhere. Maybe RJ could store it in the archives.
What do ya all think? gabby

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Gabs... babe. Dunno quite how to tell ya this... But I don't want your stinky hiney. And I KNOW ya don't want mine! Do you know what I've been feeding this thing???? PEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

lol.....I hear ya Jane. Isnt there a dungeon around here?

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Yeah, I'm pretty sure the dungeon is down the hall and to the left... Third door down. There's a big skull n crossbones above the entrance. Ya know... If the warden there looks anything like that Brawny guy from the tv commercial... Well h*ll! Just lock me up and throw away the key!

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

Ok....comin with!

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

I responed to this earlier today from my work computer too...........can't see any of my replies at all!!! this is so frustrating, guess all I can do is read from there, cuz writing is a waste of time!! Don't even remember what I wrote, except that you are doing a great job, your daughter is proof of that!

Mary Anne

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

shas read my e-mail

[Guest]

Have Been Good, Have Been Bad!

So good. So good. Wonderful wonderful thread. Thank you Sharyn & ALL!!! I particularly LOVE the statement about ..since in MWO..I have never gone back to drinking the amount I did before....Thank you for that.

Because I really have nothing inspirational to report except that!!!... I got in MWO end of April ...my drinking has cut down tremendously..I believe in topa &/or any Rx ..but my system can't take the topa..but I "still" have not gone back to before with the vodka & greater amt of wine.....

I Log in & check & dream about abs or a truly committed mods program where I report in all day -- been incredibly busy summer..not excuse ... I plan first ..then act..So need to plan


Anyway.. that statement alone by "Brandy" is inspirational...one reason this site is a treasure chest

I have learned here that slips (they are called relapses in the clinical addiction world) are par t of the experience..so natural & OK ..IF (& only IF) one is honestly trying to get better & (for here ...working some part of this program).

And every single one on this thread is doing so & I admire that so much & learn from each.

Some of my posts have been called "jaded"... even a recent one.. ...but I feel pretty grounded in my observations especially with this thread....

Keep on Dear Sisters....Live Strong (as you do) ...thank you..Chrysa