Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

[Pavati]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Hi, Everyone:

I remember reading this a while back (when I was lurking before I joined) and it has given me pause a few times since. It is in line with what you wrote, Spirit: The Pink Cloud Effect.

The “pink cloud” is best described as a period of time where the addict or alcoholic experiences a reprieve from the struggles associated with early recovery. These struggles are generally associated with the feelings of depression, anger, resentment, self pity and the realization of where their drug addiction or alcoholism has taken them.

Upon experiencing this phenomenon for the first time, the addict or alcoholic is understandably excited. They begin to believe they now “hold the key” to their recovery. This is where the seed for relapse is planted. They begin to believe more in themselves than in the process they have been following. Without the pain as a daily reminder, they tend to forget about what it took for them to embrace recovery. Denial rears its ugly head and they minimize how devastating their drug addiction and alcoholism really was and that they have a disease of drug addiction and alcoholism that requires attention on a daily basis. Relapse prevention becomes an afterthought as the person becomes defiant and rebellious regarding suggestions contrary to their desires. Without resorting to drugs or alcohol, the individual in recovery is one step away from relapse. Remember, relapse is not an event, it is a process.

The key phrase for me is... relapse prevention becomes an afterthought... I don't want to go down that path again and I am sure I would, so I am working this MWO program for all it is worth. It IS a mind fuck, BK. I'm glad you came back quickly, too. I have a feeling that it would take me a while to return...

I think that posting about those feelings is an important step to preventing relapse - you are thinking about it and working through them here, rather than ignoring them or stuffing them inside until they come out as you're passing a liquor store!

I am looking forward to hearing about your workouts - sounds really great to spend that much time and focus on your health!

Night, all. Nine days gone in April. So far so good.

Pav

[skullbabyland]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Free- cool, I will look for that thread. I don't believe I've run across it before-- Which forum is it in, Long Term Abstainers?

As for yoga, damn I keep meaning to do this but I'm sort of cruising along in my own little routine and haven't as yet been motivated to add more things, even though I know I would benefit from them greatly. Thanks for the reminder.. I'm going to look up yoga classes... now.

OK, back. I'm going to a Hatha Flow class today at noon. Thanks for the nudge, Free It'll be a nice counterpart to all the strength training conditioning I'm diong (I hit a personal record in deadlift yesterday, huzzah!)

Spirit, thanks for the great thoughts, you too BK and Pav. I really relate to what you guys are saying about how alcohol tries to creep back in during the GOOD times. The recent drinking thoughts I've mentioned definitely were that. "Oh I'm feeling good, maybe I'll 'reward' myself with a 'night off from sobriety'. Those rock shows in May will be awesome if I just 'let myself off the hook'."

Also, it is SO true, Pav's comments about the "pink cloud effect" (I'd never heard of this before, thanks for posting, Pav). The part that was a particular eye opener for me was that relapse is a process, not an event. Yep I can totally see how this is true... one or two or five or ten controlled/moderate drinking nights becomes a few more, then drunken weekends, then before I know it I'm a fuckin' drunk again and my life sucks all over again. FAAAARRRK

Lesson learned here... it's important to stay as vigilant as possible, as if this is a fight for our very lives... because indeed, it is.

In an unrelated note... yesterday I was interested to hear on a health podcast, a quick discussion on the 8 most toxic beers. Newcastle, one of my old favorites, was at the top of the list due to AMMONIA in their caramel coloring, which is a carcinogen. Thanks alot, douchey beer manufacturers. Not that any beer is good for me, obviously it's all poison, but that was interesting to hear. One more reason for me to stay away...

[spiritwolf333]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Pavati;1647183 wrote: Hi, Everyone:

The ?pink cloud? is best described as a period of time where the addict or alcoholic experiences a reprieve from the struggles associated with early recovery. These struggles are generally associated with the feelings of depression, anger, resentment, self pity and the realization of where their drug addiction or alcoholism has taken them.

Upon experiencing this phenomenon for the first time, the addict or alcoholic is understandably excited. They begin to believe they now ?hold the key? to their recovery. This is where the seed for relapse is planted. They begin to believe more in themselves than in the process they have been following. Without the pain as a daily reminder, they tend to forget about what it took for them to embrace recovery. Denial rears its ugly head and they minimize how devastating their drug addiction and alcoholism really was and that they have a disease of drug addiction and alcoholism that requires attention on a daily basis. Relapse prevention becomes an afterthought as the person becomes defiant and rebellious regarding suggestions contrary to their desires. Without resorting to drugs or alcohol, the individual in recovery is one step away from relapse. Remember, relapse is not an event, it is a process.

The key phrase for me is... relapse prevention becomes an afterthought... I don't want to go down that path again and I am sure I would, so I am working this MWO program for all it is worth.
Night, all. Nine days gone in April. So far so good.

Pav

Hi Pav -thanks for this post. I reposted as reminder to me.

[spiritwolf333]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

skullbabyland;1647294 wrote: Free- cool, I will look for that thread. I don't believe I've run across it before-- Which forum is it in, Long Term Abstainers?

As for yoga, damn I keep meaning to do this but I'm sort of cruising along in my own little routine and haven't as yet been motivated to add more things, even though I know I would benefit from them greatly. Thanks for the reminder.. I'm going to look up yoga classes... now.

OK, back. I'm going to a Hatha Flow class today at noon. Thanks for the nudge, Free It'll be a nice counterpart to all the strength training conditioning I'm diong (I hit a personal record in deadlift yesterday, huzzah!)

Spirit, thanks for the great thoughts, you too BK and Pav. I really relate to what you guys are saying about how alcohol tries to creep back in during the GOOD times. The recent drinking thoughts I've mentioned definitely were that. "Oh I'm feeling good, maybe I'll 'reward' myself with a 'night off from sobriety'. Those rock shows in May will be awesome if I just 'let myself off the hook'."

Also, it is SO true, Pav's comments about the "pink cloud effect" (I'd never heard of this before, thanks for posting, Pav). The part that was a particular eye opener for me was that relapse is a process, not an event. Yep I can totally see how this is true... one or two or five or ten controlled/moderate drinking nights becomes a few more, then drunken weekends, then before I know it I'm a fuckin' drunk again and my life sucks all over again. FAAAARRRK

Lesson learned here... it's important to stay as vigilant as possible, as if this is a fight for our very lives... because indeed, it is.

In an unrelated note... yesterday I was interested to hear on a health podcast, a quick discussion on the 8 most toxic beers. Newcastle, one of my old favorites, was at the top of the list due to AMMONIA in their caramel coloring, which is a carcinogen. Thanks alot, douchey beer manufacturers. Not that any beer is good for me, obviously it's all poison, but that was interesting to hear. One more reason for me to stay away...

If I am not careful, you guys are going to motivate me right back into a healthy life style. Seriously, I am going to restart my yoga program. My favorite part of yoga class was the extended meditation. I really did experience some great things at the end of many classes -meditation having followed extensive yoga.

Namaste to you all

[free at last]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Hi all, I started a thread on the Holistic section -- Yogini 108 day AF Challenge. My Happy Place has even posted a photo series of how to do a sun salutation. Come on over and join us!

Flight last night was cancelled so I am still in WA. Thoughts of AF while waiting hours in the airport lounge but I invoked my "I don't want to drink" mantra and went the entire 108 times. Helped enormously.

So, hopefully the plane is ready, there is a connection to be made in Europe and I am home sometime tomorrow. The joys of travel.

[skullbabyland]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Hi Free- awesome to hear about your combating thoughts of alcohol while in the airport lounge. Is the idea to repeat the mantra in your head up to 108 times?

Thanks for the invite to the Yogini 108 section, I'll check it out. You rock

Good luck getting home!

[Pavati]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Up late two nights in a row, but wanted to check in and say hi! April 10 - one third of April gone.

Hope you're home snug and safe, Free.

Pav

[skullbabyland]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Morning, Aprilists... One third of April down, indeed. Have a good weekend everyone

[spiritwolf333]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

I have just got thru reading some of the prior posts on this thread. It just has a feel of sobriety breeding sobriety.

Sometimes when I am get by myself, I start "thinking". Rut-ro. My "thinking" can sometimes lead to "it sure would be nice to have just -one-". But then, of course, I really technically no better but that does not stop that little voice. But what really can and does help; reading some posts on this site and this thread (and the gratitude thread) and realizing that I am not the alone in walking this path.

Like it or not, we all share one common denominator; we all use to (or still do) intake some chemical to change the way that we feel or think. And possibly, that was ok at one time -until we became prisoners in hell together.

The great part now, for many of us, is that we are each creating a new life based on new thought patterns and ways of living. We live with the good and with bad without alcohol or other type drugs.

I MUST remember one thing; "Do I know what could take away and possibly destroy this new found life and freedom?"

[Pavati]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Hi:

Quiet in April so far.

BK - Are you still around? Come and chat - it helps!

Love your post, Spirit. ScottishLass described "longing" for alcohol rather than "craving" alcohol, especially after we've been off it for a little while (day 132 for me!) and that totally hit home. I know I don't really crave booze, but I long to be a "normal" drinker - a cold beer on a hot day? Yes, please. But if I think about it, there are other things I long for that are just as crazy. I want a bigger house - long for more space for my kids. I want to be thinner. I wish I could travel more. Etc. I could sit around and sulk and have a pity party for so many things - too bad, so sad. Time to buck up and get on with it. The beauty of it is that my life without drinking is SO MUCH BETTER than my life with drinking. Yes, there were times when drinking was great - I had many fun times. But the bad times were coming more often and were affecting the other parts of my life in a bad way.

Anyway - on to creating my new life - without alcohol and drugs! We got this!

FAL, Skull, Tree - Hope all is well.

xo
Pav

[free at last]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Hi All,
Difficult travel back home -- plane cancelled, missed connections. Took me two days to get home and then I slept for 12 hours straight. Arrived just in time for hayfever season. Feeling miserable but grateful to be back home.

[skullbabyland]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

free at last;1648810 wrote: Hi All,
Difficult travel back home -- plane cancelled, missed connections. Took me two days to get home and then I slept for 12 hours straight. Arrived just in time for hayfever season. Feeling miserable but grateful to be back home.
Sorry to hear your homecoming travel was tough, Free... that really sucks. Glad you slept a long sleep, and hope you feel better soon. Welcome home

Pavati;1648698 wrote:
Love your post, Spirit. ScottishLass described "longing" for alcohol rather than "craving" alcohol, especially after we've been off it for a little while (day 132 for me!) and that totally hit home. I know I don't really crave booze, but I long to be a "normal" drinker - a cold beer on a hot day? Yes, please. But if I think about it, there are other things I long for that are just as crazy. I want a bigger house - long for more space for my kids. I want to be thinner. I wish I could travel more. Etc. I could sit around and sulk and have a pity party for so many things - too bad, so sad. Time to buck up and get on with it. The beauty of it is that my life without drinking is SO MUCH BETTER than my life with drinking. Yes, there were times when drinking was great - I had many fun times. But the bad times were coming more often and were affecting the other parts of my life in a bad way.

I really relate to this, Pav... whenever I think back to my later drinking days, I try to remember how bad the bad times actually were, and how they hugely eclipsed any good times. I cringe/wince a bit at the memories of the bad times. But I think that's a good thing, we shouldn't lose memory of those bad times because the booze wants us to just remember the good.

spiritwolf333;1648498 wrote:
I MUST remember one thing; "Do I know what could take away and possibly destroy this new found life and freedom?"

Spirit, you always have such a good way of sharing new perspectives or quotes that I really relate to. Thanks for sharing this... this is a good thing for me to remember. When I ask myself that question.... Yep, I sure do know what could destroy this new freedom of mine... and it's in a glass. Perhaps I should leave that glass to someone who can enjoy it without danger of wrecking their life, because that sure ain't me, and instead I should do something positive. I'm going to try to remember this quote of yours.

As for me, I was off MWO over the weekend due to a nasty bout of food poisoning. Spent a lot of time on the couch feeling sorry for myself. But today it's back to the real world and I have a lot to accomplish today. Sometimes when I'm facing a day like this I get a bout of anxiety... I need to remind myself when this happens to charge in to the tasks at hand, as best I can, and come out the other side feeling proud of the small victories.

Sober April's almost half over, folks.

[Pavati]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Hi, Everyone:

I have to highly recommend this podcast that NS posted: The Bubble Hour - Changing the Stigma of Addiction through Science. There are many great points, but one good one is that the dopamine receptors in our brains don't recover for up to six months of being alcohol free. That can help explain why relapse happens between 90 days and six months. Cause to be extra vigilant!

Sorry you were sick, Skull. Food poisoning is awful. Sometimes the anxiety can be a motivator, and I like your attitude.

Free - sorry you're miserable - glad you're home. I hope you got 108 of something while you were trapped.

I'll be able to see the lunar eclipse at 11pm my time - trying to stay awake...

Happy 41414!

xo
Pav

[skullbabyland]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Pavati;1649203 wrote: Hi, Everyone:

I have to highly recommend this podcast that NS posted: The Bubble Hour - Changing the Stigma of Addiction through Science. There are many great points, but one good one is that the dopamine receptors in our brains don't recover for up to six months of being alcohol free. That can help explain why relapse happens between 90 days and six months. Cause to be extra vigilant!

Sorry you were sick, Skull. Food poisoning is awful. Sometimes the anxiety can be a motivator, and I like your attitude.

Free - sorry you're miserable - glad you're home. I hope you got 108 of something while you were trapped.

I'll be able to see the lunar eclipse at 11pm my time - trying to stay awake...

Happy 41414!

xo
Pav

Interesting about the podcast, Pav, I'll have to check it out. I'm coming up on 6 months AF soon so I was really interested to hear that part... thanks for posting that.

How was the eclipse?

[bkyogagurl]

Sober Aprilists- Assemble!!!

Pav-:loveyou: it's nice to be missed. I felt bad cause I haven't been sober so I felt I did not deserve to be here. But I am sober now and will listen to the podcast as I think it is interesting about the 6 months to heal thing. I have read stuff like that and I think it is starting to resonate enough with me to make me want to try it..

It would be a hard pull making it thru a summer sober but if I could do it what an achievement. I am meeting with a new coach/trainer today so will be interested to see what he has to say.

I was going to try a women's sobriety group out last night but there were not enough hours in the day. Mondays are usually a tough day for me as I have a lot of things to do. I am considering see the woman who runs the group privately. I am not sure if I should see her or go back to my counselor who is familiar with me. I think I need some more tools in my box to get over what seems to be my last big hurdle with drinking. The new lady comes up as completely dedicated to addiction so I wonder if she might have some special tools I could use.

Skull... I sure hope you are feeling better. Thanks for stopping by my thread.

Spirit... I might have to hunt you down cause I'm worried about you with all your happenings with your son. Please take care of you.

I am going to stick close and do my best to try and post every day. It keeps it real for me. I decided not to count days on my signature because I was feeling frustrated at starting over because I don't really feel like I'm starting over... I feel like I'm progressing.
I always change my mind about this tho... So don't be surprised if you see a totally down there soon... HA!
:groupluv: