Army thread 2 April
Good Afternoon and Evening, Army Friends!
I am working on-site with a client today and I'm taking a break to check in and see how Jackie was doing:l:h and Roxy, too.:l
Roxy-I read your post saying that you had been AF for 13 days:goodjob: Do you know how long it took me to GET TO 13 Days???? Do you see how long I've been on this site? It took me YEARS to even TRY TO GET to 13 days. Good job for staying with us....this is a lovely thread....none of the hand-slapping, finger-shaking "for shame, for shame, for shame you drank" bullshit on here. :-)
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.:upset: Yup, I get why you're drinking...maybe the Angry and the Lonely in the H.A.L.T. triggers....Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. My experience is very similar to Molly's. I didn't lose my Mum but I lost my dad, and my brother, very suddenly, my best friend died of breast cancer, I broke up with my long-term beau of 5 years (talk about Anger for staying with him that long...total waste !!!) , and my mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer and had to go through chemotherapy, all within a few years. I felt Lonely, Sad, and probably like Molly and you, ABANDONED. :-( When I wasn't dealing with all of that, I had a career where I had to work 70+hours per week and I was traveling all over the world. Honey, I tell you, I drank to forget....to numb myself because I didn't want to FEEL the grief. When I first wanted to address my drinking and told my therapist, she told me what Molls learned in treatment: I did not WORK THROUGH the grief...talk about it, try to process it....I should have gone to a grief therapist 10 years ago, and never did. I thought booze is what helped me on the weekends...do the work tasks I didn't want to do...see my 80 year old Mum with no hair because of chemo... (my mom IS my best friend)...try to help my devastated Mum deal with my brother's death and help his widow because he left her penniless. The reality of it was, that because alcohol is such a depressant....all it did was make me feel worse. Also, I didn't think other people noticed that I did things under the influence. Well, they did. Shit. I had no clue. A couple people here use Ann Landers' quote in their signature line: "People who drink alcohol to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrow knows how to swim."
It sure the hell does. I am proof of that. AL has put 50 extra lbs. on this body. I think that's over 4 stone.
Jackie is right...start writing things down. The paper will get wet but who cares. Address your grief with your husband. Come on here for support if you can't get it at home. That's what I did. My family wanted me to go to rehab and I refused to go. MWO was my support group.
Like you, my drinking progressed. Mine progressed quickly. I was a very moderate and normal drinker until I was in my late 30s/early 40s. I didn't think it would ever happen to me. It did.
Do what Dreamy said...whenever you get that urge to pick up that drink, do something else...plow through those feelings AF....somehow it makes you feel like a stronger and more confident.
I'm here for you, darling. How well I know the despair you feel. PM me ANYTIME.
Good Afternoon and Evening, Army Friends!
I am working on-site with a client today and I'm taking a break to check in and see how Jackie was doing:l:h and Roxy, too.:l
Roxy-I read your post saying that you had been AF for 13 days:goodjob: Do you know how long it took me to GET TO 13 Days???? Do you see how long I've been on this site? It took me YEARS to even TRY TO GET to 13 days. Good job for staying with us....this is a lovely thread....none of the hand-slapping, finger-shaking "for shame, for shame, for shame you drank" bullshit on here. :-)
I am so sorry for the loss of your husband.:upset: Yup, I get why you're drinking...maybe the Angry and the Lonely in the H.A.L.T. triggers....Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired. My experience is very similar to Molly's. I didn't lose my Mum but I lost my dad, and my brother, very suddenly, my best friend died of breast cancer, I broke up with my long-term beau of 5 years (talk about Anger for staying with him that long...total waste !!!) , and my mom was diagnosed with Stage 3 cancer and had to go through chemotherapy, all within a few years. I felt Lonely, Sad, and probably like Molly and you, ABANDONED. :-( When I wasn't dealing with all of that, I had a career where I had to work 70+hours per week and I was traveling all over the world. Honey, I tell you, I drank to forget....to numb myself because I didn't want to FEEL the grief. When I first wanted to address my drinking and told my therapist, she told me what Molls learned in treatment: I did not WORK THROUGH the grief...talk about it, try to process it....I should have gone to a grief therapist 10 years ago, and never did. I thought booze is what helped me on the weekends...do the work tasks I didn't want to do...see my 80 year old Mum with no hair because of chemo... (my mom IS my best friend)...try to help my devastated Mum deal with my brother's death and help his widow because he left her penniless. The reality of it was, that because alcohol is such a depressant....all it did was make me feel worse. Also, I didn't think other people noticed that I did things under the influence. Well, they did. Shit. I had no clue. A couple people here use Ann Landers' quote in their signature line: "People who drink alcohol to drown their sorrows should be told that sorrow knows how to swim."
It sure the hell does. I am proof of that. AL has put 50 extra lbs. on this body. I think that's over 4 stone.
Jackie is right...start writing things down. The paper will get wet but who cares. Address your grief with your husband. Come on here for support if you can't get it at home. That's what I did. My family wanted me to go to rehab and I refused to go. MWO was my support group.
Like you, my drinking progressed. Mine progressed quickly. I was a very moderate and normal drinker until I was in my late 30s/early 40s. I didn't think it would ever happen to me. It did.
Do what Dreamy said...whenever you get that urge to pick up that drink, do something else...plow through those feelings AF....somehow it makes you feel like a stronger and more confident.
I'm here for you, darling. How well I know the despair you feel. PM me ANYTIME.
. I'm doing well in my AF-ness. I do not get cravings, but every now and then I guess I get drinking "thoughts" but they pass. I liken them to my relationship with my old boyfriend. Thoughts about him pop into my head. He was good to me in a lot of ways, and fun to be with most of the time, but the more time I spent with him, the more I did not like being with him, and found out he and his children were NOT good for me. Hence, the break up with him. :-) I now have a very full and satisfying life. I am single, have no children, never been married, and have no pets, live alone, but I LOVE my life. I have a challenging career, a wonderful family, fabulous friends (in "real" life and on the internet
Comment