'AMAZING'
I read something that one of your said about the black out, the hangovers, checking the phone unexplained bruises, it just hit home, so many times i wake up in the morning not knowing what time i went to bed, if i rang anyone I hate answering the phone the next day incase it is someone ringing to say that we had arranged something and i hadnt remembered, dont know wether any of you have felt that.
I am just so sick of letting everyone down (including myself) the amount of times i have said i will not drink again is just depressing. Everytime i let myself down i just sink even lower and hate myself more, which just makes me want to drink so i can not feel or think about the shame, when does it stop. People just say dont drink, is sounds so easy dosnt it, i wish it were that easy.
I dont see many people socially, only at work and they have know idea about my drinking problem. My friends do but they dont really ring much now as they are sick of the depression and continueal dramas in my life , (cant say i blame them i am sick of them too). If you listen to that new book the secret i have attracked all this, more depression its like saying i brought all this on myself (god that is awful). isnt it ironic when you need people the most you just seem to push them away . Anyway enough depression cant wait for this book and stuff to arrive so i can begin the healing.
take care and thanks again for listening.
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