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    #1

    Staying AF while spouse is out of town

    Hello. I have been on again off again AF all winter. Right now - I am AF, eating right, exercising and feeling strong(ish). The problem is: the wife has to go out of town this weekend and usually this is an invitation for unchecked, no hiding it drinking... Something I want to avoid. Any suggestions?
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    #2
    Staying AF while spouse is out of town

    Drinking is a solitary sport, so get out the diary and the iphone and hunt your friends down like brown dogs. Do not relent until your weekend is full of non alcohol related activities
    If your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
    Rejoined life 20/5/19

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      #3
      Staying AF while spouse is out of town

      I agree with Bridget. One of the "slogans" AA teaches (I am not a dedicated 12-stepper, but find this useful) is HALT, for hungry-angry-lonely-tired. I used to go on benders myself when the wife was out of town. This is how her absence affected me:

      1. Hungry - without someone to share a meal with, I ate very poorly, if at all. After all, we all know how alcohol kills your appetite. It sounds like a joke, but one thing I was taught that really works is to drink a large milkshake when you feel like drinking. It works.

      2. Lonely - goes without saying. Sitting alone in your house can feel oppressive. Find something to do. Like Bridget said, track down your friends (one caveat, as long as they weren't drinking buddies), go to a movie, go to the library, point is go do SOMETHING.

      3. Tired - staying well rested will also cut down on the desire to drink.
      In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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        #4
        Staying AF while spouse is out of town

        byebyebridgetjones;1646341 wrote: Drinking is a solitary sport, so get out the diary and the iphone and hunt your friends down like brown dogs. Do not relent until your weekend is full of non alcohol related activities
        :H:H Brown Dogs indeed Ms Bridget!!

        Ambrose when my husband leaves for a bit, at is that first place my head goes...I have the kids though which is the second place my head goes which totally snuffs out the first...still, it us getting easier to not go to place number one at all... I think the same will happen to you. :l
        On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
        *If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
        https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nest

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          #5
          Staying AF while spouse is out of town

          Dear Ambrose, good for you for recognizing a big trigger for you. How about heading to the gym for LONG workouts with lots of stretching. Also, I go for long walks through the neighborhood and intentionally don't carry any money with me.
          Free at Last
          "What you seek is seeking you." -- Rumi

          Highly recommend this video
          http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html

          July 19, 2013 -- the beginning of being Free at Last

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