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IF I COULD

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    #1

    IF I COULD

    If I could cry through a computer screen, today would be the day.

    It's another year and another time, but again I find that one of my three adult sons is fighting this addiction battle. Yes, he knows he has me on his side, but it does not make his challenge any the less.

    The first time my wife and I went thru this was when he was six-teen. That was gut wrenching to say the least. Now at 24, he finds himself right back in the seat of hell. The most painful of all is the fact that I am still in the midst of my own transition and I feel almost helpless to help him.

    Regardless of all, I will carry on; it just hurts like hell when it's one of your children hurting.
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    #2
    IF I COULD

    If I could hug through this computer screen, I would.

    :hug: Patty.
    "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
    so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."     :hug:

    Comment

      #3
      IF I COULD

      Spirit ... I'm so sorry friend. Would it be rude to ask what his addiction is? I just wonder because I have sons of my own and worry I have polluted them in some way. We have not seen any sign of addiction as of yet but it's so scary.

      :huggy

      I cannot imagine the pain you must feel watching you son... You are so kind and help people here. Let me know if I can do anything to help.

      Comment

        #4
        IF I COULD

        Spirit, in a way I'm relieved because when you said in another post "you lost your son," I thought you were being literal and that your son died.
        In the middle of my life's journey, I found myself in a dark wood, as I had lost the straight path. It is a difficult thing to speak about, how wild, harsh and impenetrable that wood is. Just thinking about it recreates the fear. It is scarcely less bitter than death, but in order to tell of the good that I found there, I must tell of the other things I saw there. --Dante, paraphrased

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          #5
          IF I COULD

          Spirit i am sending hugs and strength to you. I have a son that was addicted to cocaine and speed a few years back and then at 24 addicted to crack. he has been sober a year with crack thank god. Please be grateful you are sober through this, i was not and that is my one regret. It has been hard and difficult and he has changed through crack but is still getting better day by day. I love him, he loves me and i am as proud of him as he is of me.

          Be strong, be patient and be there, there is nothing else you can do except put everything in place to help your son. I very nearly lost mine to addiction but he is back.

          My thoughts are so with you and your family.
          AF free 1st December 2013 - 1st December 2022 - 9 years of freedom

          Comment

            #6
            IF I COULD

            Spiritwolf I empathize with you. I have lived with other's addictions. I did find a few ways to help them. We held family meetings where we all shared things. I got so much info from MWO that helped. The attitude of gratitude was a big help. Learning how to retrain our brains.
            I have cried countless tears. Watching someone in the grip of addiction is so painful. :l
            No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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              #7
              IF I COULD

              NotHappyHourHappyLife;1648040 wrote: If I could hug through this computer screen, I would.

              :hug: Patty.
              And I thank you!

              bkyogagurl;1648044 wrote: Spirit ... I'm so sorry friend. Would it be rude to ask what his addiction is? I just wonder because I have sons of my own and worry I have polluted them in some way. We have not seen any sign of addiction as of yet but it's so scary.

              :huggy


              I cannot imagine the pain you must feel watching you son... You are so kind and help people here. Let me know if I can do anything to help.
              Hi bky -it is cocaine and probably alcohol. And no its not rude. Our first go around with this (when he was 16), all I could do was blame myself and feel sick. What I really did not know was that I never really had any control over him or the situation anyway. Guilt and shame kept me frozen then but we kept moving forward to help him then and will do so again.


              Alky;1648353 wrote:
              Spirit, in a way I'm relieved because when you said in another post "you lost your son," I thought you were being literal and that your son died.
              Alky -wow, thanks for telling me this. Until I read what you said, I did not realize what I wrote could be interpreted that way. I can see where it could be interpreted that way.

              available;1648362 wrote:
              Spirit i am sending hugs and strength to you. I have a son that was addicted to cocaine and speed a few years back and then at 24 addicted to crack. he has been sober a year with crack thank god. Please be grateful you are sober through this, i was not and that is my one regret. It has been hard and difficult and he has changed through crack but is still getting better day by day. I love him, he loves me and i am as proud of him as he is of me.

              Be strong, be patient and be there, there is nothing else you can do except put everything in place to help your son. I very nearly lost mine to addiction but he is
              back.

              My thoughts are so with you and your family.
              Hi Avail. Great words to read this am. Almost the same story here. Cocaine then and cocaine now (at age 24). Also really glad to read your son is doing well after one year. My older brother died at 39 from drug use (crack) -12 yrs ago. That was heartbreaking as one would expect. I just continue to hope that the medical community continues to realize that addiction is a brain disorder and needs medication to help change the situation.

              Thank You!


              little beagle;1648407 wrote:               Spiritwolf I empathize with you. I have lived with other's addictions. I did find a few ways to help them. We held family meetings where we all shared things. I got so much info from MWO that helped. The attitude of gratitude was a big help. Learning how to retrain our brains.
              I have cried countless tears. Watching someone in the grip of addiction is so painful. :l
              Hi LB -thanks for your words and thoughts. Meaningful to read.

              Comment

                #8
                IF I COULD

                Spirit,
                My uncle retired as a dependency counselor, and when my niece admitted herself to the hospital with a .32 BAC (and then checked herself out because she would "detox herself at home"), my brother turned to my uncle for advice. There were two things he told us that resonated in my heart, that may help you.

                1. Don't love your child to death.
                2. It takes about 7 years from the time that an individual recognizes there is a problem, and then finally has had enough of the ups and downs to address their behavior.

                Thinking of you and your family tonight. :hug: Patty
                "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
                so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."                 :hug:

                Comment

                  #9
                  IF I COULD

                  Dear Spirit....my husband and I were crack heads back in '86-87.....I did it for about 6 months but my hubby did it for about a year in a half. I don't know if you believe in prayer or not but when my family found out they started praying for us. We never went to rehab or nothing but neither one of us has touched it since then.

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