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    #16
    Awakening

    Valid points o both answers. I am using my time off to try and taper enough so that I can leave it in the car and come out on breaks to take hits off of it. Sounds sad, but it would be progress, and it would give me more confidence I can do this. Not sure about my company. They are fortune 50, giant. They fire people for all kinds of stupid shit and I am aiming for leadership, I dont want anyone knowing my issues. Thanks for the encouragement though. I feel quite alone in this misery.

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      #17
      Awakening

      Funny thing. I went in to ask for my results (applying more pressure) and they refused to show me anything because some of the tests werent done. Im like, I just want to know the results for my liver/kidneys. So what happens? I go in tomorrow at 8am to review with the doc.

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        #18
        Awakening

        Blood tests back. I looked at them online and everything is within range. Going for an ultrasound to check for liver damage Friday. Found out my back pain is from mild osteo. Kindeys functioning fine. All good to know. Just anxious about the damage to my liver, which I assume there has to be some.

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          #19
          Awakening

          Glad to hear that your results are "normal"... but you still need to find your happiness, right?

          On a sobering thought, I work for a large company too, and we do have an EAP (Employee Assistance Program) that will assist employees that come forward with alcohol issues. We also have an Anonymous Line that employees can call to report unethical issues, or safety concerns, without "whistle blowing".

          While you may truly believe, Desperate, that "no one knows you drink during the day", chances are some of your close colleagues DO know- they simply pretend not to know- they don't want to confront you, you are a nice guy, and you have a great family. They don't want to get you in trouble. However, there is always someone in the company that IS rule oriented, that sees black and white, and will tell on you.

          Drink water. Listen to your body. STAY AWAKE! You are still young enough that your body can rebound back.
          :hug: Patty
          "God didn't give you the Strength to get back on your feet
          so that you can run back to the same thing that knocked you down."           :hug:

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