Percentage of guys to girls on forum

[Brian80]

It seems there are a lot more females on here than males. Is that true? I am just going by obvious usernames. Always thought it would be the other way around although guys probably tend to stay in denial more and not mess with forums but if I go by just what I see outside, it seems more guys are alcoholics than women. For example, a girl will meet another girl for dinner to catch up. What do guys do? "Hey lets meet for a drink". Girls tend to go crazy in college and a little after but guys go crazy and have a harder time stopping while once a girl hits a certain age, she generally thinks of marriage/ kids. Thoughts?

[Fleur23]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

Hi Brian, I thought your post was a good one. I don't know what the percentages are here as far as male/female goes. I myself feel women are more willing to get help/seek help if they think they have a problem (with anything). I think these days women are seeking help more with their addictions, where as years ago, I guess especially when it came to AA meetings.. the majority were men (just my opinion). Never been to an AA meeting though. A girl will meet another girl for a catch up and have dinner.. true.. but if we are addicted to alcohol, we make sure that dinner entails a qood amount of red or white wine!! I think its more accepted in society that men drink, women tend to drink at home and hide their problem... and that becomes a real 'job'.. to hide your drink in a coffee mug, to wrap your empty bottles so they don't rattle around when the bin is being emptied.. etc.... Bet a lot of you guys haven't had to do that LOL !!! Also, the marriage and children thing. The kids take up a lot of time while they are growing up and in need of us. Then one day, they are all grown up ( 8 - 18 yrs).. and we are left at home bored.. not really having our own outside life... we drink to cover the boredom. Im not talking for all women of course... but I have had a lot of communication with a lot of women with drinking problems, and this is very common.
Hope you are doing ok with your sober life Brian. All the best

[Nelz]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

My guess is that there are indeed more females to males. I attribute it somewhat to the male's overpowering ego to not show weakness or ask for help......but.....I could be wrong on both accounts

[badger]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

Brian,

from my experience, I would guess at maybe 75% female & a good proportion of those being 35-55, married/divorced, with children

I think maybe an online forum suits that demographic better than the traditional fellowships. membership of any meetings-based fellowship means having to attend those meetings, & probably an overt admission of possible/probable alcoholism

I think an online forum gives a much easier - "I think I might me an alcoholic, what do you think?"-type entry, than the 12-step fellowships which - IMHO - can tend to be a bit totalitarian

in any case, it's mostly a very knowledgeable & welcoming forum. if you get a slightly motherly welcome, that's surely not a bad thing?

badger

[Guitarista]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

Hey Brian. Welcome friend.

Yes. The ratio's about 1 - 5,000,000. Just joking. There are quite a few blokes here, but mainly females who are posting.

I think Nelz makes a good point. I believe many males are conditioned to work out any personal issues themselves, rather than share, and told to 'man up' etc, if they are struggling. Being told to 'man up' is not constructive or helpful in my opinion.

Having said that, i know for me, i need to commit to the hard yards and push through the discomfort and reality of personal change to come out the other side to grow and shine.

Good to see you here. Best wishes on your journey.

[scottishman]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

i'm a guy, until those occasions k9 lets me be the girl, but lets not talk about those nights, i was a student and i needed the money :upset:

[treetops]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

You know many women who have drinking problems may also be holding down stressful jobs or going through angst just like many of the guys. Our lives are not just focused on home and family. Just sayin.

[spiritwolf333]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

Brian80;1648923 wrote: It seems there are a lot more females on here than males. Is that true? I am just going by obvious usernames. Always thought it would be the other way around although guys probably tend to stay in denial more and not mess with forums but if I go by just what I see outside, it seems more guys are alcoholics than women. For example, a girl will meet another girl for dinner to catch up. What do guys do? "Hey lets meet for a drink". Girls tend to go crazy in college and a little after but guys go crazy and have a harder time stopping while once a girl hits a certain age, she generally thinks of marriage/ kids. Thoughts?

Hi Brian -thanks for the thread.

I am just curios; why does it really matter how many males vs females on MWO. I have found that it is a great way to communicate with others regarding our similar circumstance without ever knowing or caring about their gender. Just wondering?

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

In my life, I would never go to a group meeting and ask for help in a public setting, out of fear of recognition. I have rarely discussed my alcohol abuse with my children. I prefer the anonymity of this forum to get the support I need.

On the other hand, my current pastor "fell from grace" with alcohol addiction and was escorted from his previous church. After he sorted out his life, with the support of his brotherly friends, he picked himself up from the bottom of the barrel and went to AA. He used the AA meetings for strength and accountability and eventually returned to preaching. :l He is proud of his journey and will boldly discuss his addiction and recovery as an important, but "closed" chapter of his life.

He definitely benefited from the AA support network, but as a woman, I will find my comfort here.

:hug: Patty

[badger]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

scottishman;1649099 wrote: i'm a guy, until those occasions k9 lets me be the girl, but lets not talk about those nights, i was a student and i needed the money :upset:

thank you Senator ...

[little beagle]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

In my experience men come, get much needed help, and go, many women come, meet friends and stay.

[badger]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

treetops;1649106 wrote: You know many women who have drinking problems may also be holding down stressful jobs or going through angst just like many of the guys. Our lives are not just focused on home and family. Just sayin.

apologies treetops; broad strokes are always going to exclude the minority ...

[scottishman]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

gender is interesting, i wonder about race and countries of origin , how prevalent is alcoholism in other parts of the world, an interesting thing, demographics, here in scotland, nearly everyone has a drink problem

[Alky]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

I think for the most part Americans try to conceal their drinking problems. The recycling bins of neighbors that seem perfectly normal on the surface tell a very different story. I thought of starting a thread about this because today was garbage day in my neighborhood and I was walking the dog before recycling pickup came. And mine used to be one of those telltale recycling bins as well.

[Rahulthesweet]

Percentage of guys to girls on forum

This question was on top of mind since yesterday. I am a male and I have pretty active in this forum (well I try to be). I also notice that lot of forum and blogs are written by women. I listened to few pod cast like the bubble hour and it had all women. Women host, women guests. And at many times I just could not relate to their talks. And I though where are all the dudes ? Drinking away ? Sitting at bars ? Screwing their lives ... Am I the only one having trouble with alcohol ? AM I having trouble with alcohol ?

Little Beagle, I know they say men r dogs but hey I plan on staying and making friends here ...

But this gender divide maybe is due to the deeper "manly" reasons for which we are known for. Be strong, bold, solve problems yourself. Man of the house etc. Two ladies chatting intimately in coffee shop.. "They must be friends". Two guy doing the same just chatting ... "How gay !"

I am not from states, here in India at least the part where I live, men are expected to be strong, bold, solve their own problems. It ok and acceptable for men to drink and it common to see men get drunk and go crazy. Don't see heavy drinking that often with women. I guess in this part of the world women are brought up by parents, school etc that it's not ok for women to drink. It has and is changing VeRY fast. I can't say for good or bad.

Do men reach out to others for help or for sharing for talking ... Nope ... I never reached out at least. No man reached out to me ..

Does it hurt my male ego to do so... Well generally speaking as I observe other men's behaviour around me we may not admit but yes it does hurt our ego. In my case it is more to being my shy nature and my typical nature of keeping distance from everyone. (See I am not admitting ) but in my case it's really true ... I am quite shy in real world. Last person to seek help or talk about issues in life.

But male or female. Alcohol spares no one. It treats both gender the same. If women r reaching out and forming groups of support its great but it maybe great for us men to start recovering from alcoholism and increase population of MWO.