Anyone in the First Week of Their Unpteenth Quit?

[MinStar]

Thank you guys for all the tips. You are the best!
In the midst of sorting kids bed out. hubby's birthday today so we have take out planned

I really am fighting the urge. My head is saying oh well just one more day and then I can quit. This is why one relapse day leads to many.

Lizaan and Mama- how are you doing?

[abcowboy]

I've got some down time, the tractor doctor is out here trying to get the a/c fixed, it gets very warm in the cab without it!

Hi mama! Great to see you back and trying once again, never stop trying because this quit could be your last.

Listening to and thinking about you ladies that are having trouble making your quit stick, I have another idea to add to what BG and Ginger already suggested. Keep a "craving diary" My counsellor had me do that for my anger and it really helped. So keep a pen and pad of paper handy and whenever you feel a craving to drink, write down the time, day, and circumstance that led to the craving, then rate the strength of the craving on a 1 - 10 scale. You should be able to identify your triggers then isolate and deal with them. And by doing this, it focuses your mind on the diary and off the craving. I don't know if it will help, but it can't hurt.

[mama]

THANK YOU all for the kind & helpful words. I am doing GREAT today.

I had lunch plans with a friend. She asked where I wanted to go and I specifically picked a restaurant that did not serve alcohol. However, when we arrived, the waitress puts a wine menu in front of me. I guess the place has changed since I was last there. But I said NO and had a glass of water. Then after we were done the friend said "we should go get a glass of wine at the wine bar across the street. Again I said "NO thanks, too much to get done this afternoon". I need to remember how I feel right now because I am so proud of myself.

Min & Lizann- I have said just one more day for YEARS now. You made a decision, now try try try to just get through today. We are in this together.

[paulywogg]

Min,you are absolutely right about that!one relapse stirs the pot,that's why I was lucky that my body said"enough"!be strong, you'll feel so much better tomorrow if you don't drink tonight, Mama, woo-hoo for you keeping strong I think the only restaurant around here that doesn't serve al is Denny's,even Chuck E Cheese serves beer here! I think to get the dads to step foot in the rowdy,kid filled place haha

[Lizann]

Good evening settled in our hotel. Trying to figure out what we want to plan for tomorrow. It was a four hour drive here and I dosed most of the way. Drank a diet coke and some water. Couldn't really eat much and we went to a fabulous buffet. Thankfully we are amongst Mennonite and Amish. Al is hard to come by. Resturants don't start serving until after four, we ate early. Anyway, thanks so much for the support. I will definitely take your suggestions! I love you guys and I definitely need you. Son put a note in my purse that I just found"just stop it".

[NoraC]

Hello all - great suggestions today. Thank you for that.

Min - hope your hubby had a happy birthday.

Liz - Happy Anniversary and please enjoy your weekend.

Mama - you are doing great!!!

Hubby & I are going to watch a movie so I need to get going. I'll be around tomorrow. Hope that everyone has a great evening and a wonderful weekend!

[MinStar]

It's five am and I've been tossing and turning. Spoke to hubby. In tears last night. Mixture of the drinking and feeling like I am failing failing as a mother wife worker... You name it.
It's so overwhelming.

Hubby wanted pizza so I indulged. For all my drinking I have been keeping up with my exercise and calories. But yesterday I think I blew it. Also had a drink with him. But nowhere as much as I would normally.

Lizann- wow. How did you feel? Sounds like you're doing strong there. I hope the rest of your anniversary goes well.

Cowboy- your list idea sounds good! I know my triggers are simple HALT. Hunger anger lonely and tiredness. At the moment I'm all of these things. Especially overwhelms and feeling alone.

Mama- how are you. As Cowboy said. Never quit on your quit. This may be the last one.

Going to try and sleep a little. I'm popping acid indigestion tablets as this week of drinking has buggered me up. I will check in again in a few hours.

Thank you so much everyone I've not mentioned. To be able to come back here without having to hide is one less thing for me to worry. I know j just need to get over this now.

[MinStar]

Morning. Hope you're well. I'm starting again today. Have got rid of my hidden drink stash and am going to focus on this feeling of complete and utter depression I'm feeling right now.


4 days of gin binging. I just did three odd weeks af and this!!!

I'm so emotionally and physically over this.

Ive told hubby and am reaching out to a few friends. Making sure I can talk to 'live' people.

A lot of these friends are in the same boat or have been with kids. BUT they don't think they have a problem.
One said 'so what- you've had a few days of boozing. No point in beating yourself up about it. Just get on with what you need to do- though I feel she's wrong to say so what- she's right in that I'm constantly having this inner battle beating myself up. I'm not a good enough mother. My kids are suffering as a consequence of my drinking. I'm not a good wife my husband deserves better and I have cancelled clients this morning on the back of a few not coming I've though an well Feck it. I will just cancel all. I need to feel better about myself.

I think I'm feeling totally overwhelmed and teary the last few days too which hasn't helped my resolve.

I even know when I'm pouring that first glass it's stupid but I blindly carry on. Then the second one - as we all know. Is promptly followed by the third. Yesterday I didn't even enjoy the drink

Thanks for reading. I'm going to chew as many ears off as possible about this. And work through this emotional funk I am in. I've been here before with my daughter around the same age as my son. It was the quit that stuck for years. One day I just said enough. I'm not drinking. The day's added up and I felt better. I wonder if it's PND? I spoke to docs about this when son was first born but she seemed to think it was just early postnatal days. Maybe an appointment with her again is what I need. Last time they refered me to a support group but I never could make the sessions :-/

Hubby actually suggested I talk to someone so maybe now he is in the loop he will take the kids so I can talk to someone.

Right rambling my thoughts. I hope no one is offended I've off loaded here. I'm going to start my own thread I think.

[abcowboy]

Morning here Min, glad to hear that you're sharing with hubby and others! I think it scares our family and friends when we tell them about our problem with alcohol, because they don't have the problem, they're just not sure how to offer support, but it will come.. Starting your own thread is also good, use it as a journal, for your thoughts, fears, progress, etc. But never ever leave us! We want you here as well. And don't be so hard on yourself, it took me 10 years of umpteenth quits to finally get it right and I'm not sure if I can ever let my guard down, not in the foreseeable future anyway. Of course you know you can always come here to rant and share emotions, or a place to feel welcomed, accepted, and loved no matter what is going on in your life!

Light rain here this morning, not sure how long it will shut us down from seeding, but I think the crew could use a break and we sure need the rain! Will be back later, have a great one!

ps, I must have missed something, BG and Liz both celebrating anniversaries? Well then, Happy Anniversary to both of you!!

[Ginger999]

Min, that does sound like PND. At least that sounds exactly the way I felt some 30+ years ago. If it were me, I'd definitely follow up with my doctor. Maybe he could help. Worh a try. Hang on there and stay close. Your own personal thread might be therapeutic but don't feel like you have to leave here either. We want you here and we are here for you.

[NoraC]

Hello all - just wanted to check in. I'm in a funk today so don't have much to add. I feel like I'm craving but that's not exactly right. I'm just down. But, that is a normal part of life isn't it. Some days just aren't as good as other days. We've had overcast weather for the past several days so that probably has something to do with my mood. Anyway, I definitely won't be drinking. I am still using Antabuse. For right now, I am using that to get me over the hump.

I've got some books set up on my Kindle so I'm going to get back to reading. Oh, we watched Pitch Perfect last night. Funny movie!

Have a great weekend everyone. Did you say that it's a long weekend in Canada? We're having a long weekend here in the States next weekend.

[actiongirl46]

Hi!
Just checking in quick . . . I'm visiting my sister and helping with her young children (more on that later) so not much down time!!

MinS - I can so relate to pretty much everything you typed. Except for the PND, I'm right there with you. Mama, LizAnn, hang in there! I do think we beat ourselves up too much and that doesn't help. Did you watch that TedTalk I posted last week? Really made me think about how shame contributes to the cycle. And that's not something we drink, its something we think. Crazy.

Cowboy and Ginger and other veterans here, I so appreciate the compassion, advice, encouragement and your vision of hope. What wonderful gifts and you do it everyday. You guys are the best.

I'll be back early next week. Stay healthy peeps!! Get your steps in and keep your head on straight!!

[abcowboy]

Howdy everyone! Back at home in town now, had a bit of rain, enough to stop seeding but blue skies in the forecast for tomorrow so it should dry enough to go again Monday morning. 3 to 4 good days and seeding should be done.

Nora, It's a bit quiet on our thread today, but normally is on weekends...sometimes a bit lonely lol, but gives me time to read through the other threads. Gloomy weather has a way of giving us that downer feeling, affects me the same way, but I use it to enjoy quiet and relaxing time at home. This is Victoria Day long weekend, the weekend we celebrate Queen Victoria's birthday, but I don't even know what day her actual birthday is, would have to google it lol.

Ginger, are you guys traveling next weekend on your guys long weekend? Getting that trip to the ocean maybe..

Liz, hope you're enjoying your Anniversary away weekend! It's nice to just "get away" from everyone and everything for a bit and reconnect with the one we love, and don't beat yourself for having to start over, learn from it and move forward from here..

Pauly, having a good weekend or do you have to work? I'm presuming from your posts that you are a hairdresser? Do you work at a large salon on something smaller?

Min, how was hubby's birthday? Enjoyed your pizza without cravings for AL? Maybe you and hubby need to do the same as Liz, sneak away from the kids for some one on one time... do have family close by that could watch the kids for you?

SS, how's things going? Are you still keeping up your blog as well? Did you get all your trees planted? Bubba and I have a bunch of flowers in the greenhouse to be planted outside, but with -3C forecast tonight, they'll stay inside for a few more days!

mama, Keep up the great work on saying no to drinking! It won't be long before your friends realize you don't drink anymore and the invitations to licensed establishments will get fewer and farther between.

OH, haven't heard from you in a while. Still busy as ever?

AG, how's the visit with sis and her kids going? You sound like you're back on track and more determined than ever. And we're all veteran's here, veteran's in umpteenth quits and I never consider myself any more sober than the next person. My uncle who has 50 years of sobriety told me that the first one out of bed in the morning has the most amount of sobriety because it's just one day at a time.

Chief, how's things in your neck of the woods? Ducks fled the nest yet and gone for greener pastures?

BG, did you and hubby do anything special for your anniversary? There would be no point going to the mainland when you already live on such a beautiful island!

My uncle and his daughter (obviously my cousin) and her husband are coming over tomorrow for a visit and having supper with us. The last time we were together was last May when Bubba and I travelled over to be present for my aunt's ashes inurnment so we're looking forward to seeing them again! Not much else to say, just keep up the good work everyone, and no quitting your quits eh!

[paulywogg]

Cowboy, just a small family owned salon that I've been at for 12 years, lots of good memories, but lots of bad ones too,we were all party girls at first I think that's why my drinking sort of escalated and was accepted, sounds like everyone is doing good, hope everyone is enjoying their evening

[SoberSoul]

It is quiet around here. We planted the trees and made some flower beds. The neighbors have been wonderful in giving hubby and I lots of perennials from their gardens. Without a doubt this move was the best move we could have ever made.

Went to dance to some live rock and roll with Eddie and the Stingrays playing at a local pub. Danced the night away sans booze with my meditation friend and her husband. Was a lot of fun. When we got home around midnight, there was a small party in progress on my front deck. I stayed up for a while but hubby joined in and partied the night away. Guess who cleaned up all the beer bottles this morning at 5:30... I did it happily and without a hangover.

I am surprised Cowboy that you have below zero weather this weekend. Disappointing after such a long hard winter.

Have a great remainder of the weekend. Stay strong!