Anyone in the First Week of Their Unpteenth Quit?

[Lizann]

BG congrats on not drinking! I made it through last weekend for our anniversary get away, but I did miss it. Today we are having a huge block party. The liquor store across the street is coming with all the beer and wine. There will be a wine tasting. I am concerned. My sister will be here and she will be watching me. Just poor timing as far as my quit is concerned.
Anyhow, what's everyone else doing this long holiday weekend? Hubby wants to uncover the pool today, YAY! It's cold and windy here today but whatever.
So last night we went to Cjs bf cafe. Yep the former medical student bought a cafe. He and my CJ were busily cleaning and moving things around. Mark and I helped some too. I actually had fun. Maybe it was the espresso? I wish him luck.
Have a good one. Send me some positive vibes for later guys, let you know how I do!

[Lizann]

image.jpg. Another one of my Lucy! One of her ears sticks out, she looks like a helicopter! Hoping this photo doesn't turn sideways. Anybody know why or how to fix that?

[NoSugar]

NThere will be a wine tasting. I am concerned. My sister will be here and she will be watching me. Just poor timing as far as my quit is concerned.

Good morning, Liz. It helped me to reframe these things. Instead of dreading this event, look at it as an opportunity to show yourself (and your sister :wink that you don't need to drink and that it isn't necessarily part of having fun. Psyche yourself up for conversations and activities without a drink in hand - really visualize how things will go. The more I made things into interesting challenges, the better they went. This might sound a little crazy, but in some ways I miss that edge of excitement. Believe me, if you stick with it, not drinking becomes totally normal and a little bit boring in the sense that it no longer takes preparation or effort. It's just regular old life - and it's nice.

[Ginger999]

Morning Liz! Do you have a plan in place for when the booze starts flowing? Last spring at the beginning of my quit, we camped several times with people I'd normally drink heavily with. I was scared to death I'd give in to the urge. I went to the store before we left and purchased fancy non AL drinks (sparkling lavendar water, etc). I took a fancy glass just for me to use. I printed off several suggestions from the toolbox and stuck them in my pocket. I'd reach into my pocket and touch them when I felt my resolve weakening. I had desert when it was served (usually wouldn't do that when drinking). I would have PM'd someone here but I was out of cell service the entire time. Anyway.... Doing all those things in preparation for the event worked! I made it through all the spring camping AF. I know if I hadn't prepared for the trips in a calculated way, I'd have never made it through them. Make a plan and you will succeed. I believe in you! Sending you a ton of AF energy.:hug:

[paulywogg]

Hey all,just a quick hello, feeling shitty and groggy don't want to go to work! Liz,just eat like a pig,no room for booze

[BeachGirly]

Wow Liz - great advice from the wise girls ��

I know it is early, and you are scared - I was like that at Christmas, and I used their advice then and did it.

I know you can pull off this Challange- you are determined!!!

[Lizann]

Thanks guys! I have some Pellegrino water from Joes cafe that I took last night. It's definitely a treat for me. I just love those stupid little bottles. I will be bringing that with me! My sister will keep a close eye on me.

[abcowboy]

Afternoon my friends! Back in the air conditioned comfort of our camper after spending the morning planting all the bedding plants, shrubs, and perennial flowers for this year. Its 30C (92F) outside, too hot to do any more work so Bubba, Hank, and I opted for the camper lol. Nice and busy on the thread, and that’s good! All of us coming to re-affirm our quits!

Liz, I read your post this morning and although I didn’t have the time to reply (Hank thinks farm time is his time) it gave me something to think about as I was getting my hands dirty in Mother Earth. And I hope when you get a chance to read this, your block party was a lot of fun and you got through it with flying colors!

Isn`t it amazing that when you quit drinking, everyone has an opinion for you? These opinions can range from "It's about time, man. You were getting out of control." to "You didn't have a problem." After you've been sober for some time, these opinions change. Yesterday while cutting grass at the farm, the neighbour Tommy stopped by, he remarked when he saw me drinking a Coke in the middle of a hot afternoon, "Wow, are you still not drinking?" My response, "Yep, haven't had a drink in over 4 months, not one!" His response, "We'll have to cure you of that."

What an interesting way of looking at things. We have to cure people from drinking too much, yet we then need to also cure them from not drinking as a socially accepted norm. We all know you can drink too much, but apparently, as adults who participate in normal adult activities, we can also drink too little. Kind of like saying someone who quit smoking due to lung cancer needs to light one up more often. But this conversation leads me to another thing I've been reading on here a lot recently: moderation. See, normal people can drink in moderation, don't have to drink every day, and can have the occasional drink without it turning into 10. We also read a very few of the "success" stories on the boards - a few members here can relate tales of friends or acquaintances, or even themselves who stopped a problem drinking habit, only to successfully return to moderate drinking after a year or three of sobriety. I personally feel there is a lot of danger in these pervasive thoughts. Why? Well for situations exactly like the one I had yesterday. Whether society acknowledges it or not, we are encouraged to drink. Advertising for liquor and beer is everywhere. People on TV spend time in bars, or have wine with meals, or enjoy a beer at a ball game. We have a socially accepted moral that normal adults drink. Grownups have wine at dinner. Grownups chug a few beers at a ball game. So let's combine this subtle social pressure with an introverted personality type. Many people with these personality types use alcohol as a social lubricant, to make them feel more relaxed or to help them get over a general discomfort in groups (even if it is only two people). Alcohol encourages conversation (quantity of it anyways), and can make even the most ignorant of people somewhat tolerable. Plus it meets the subtle pressure that we can conform, just by having one or two. To me, this is where the recovering alcoholic needs to be super cautious, and avoid acts of self-delusion.

When I quit drinking this last time, I promised God, Bubba, and myself that I've stopped for good. I know exactly how much I'll be drinking in future. Zero drinks. See, there are so many good reasons to engage in moderate drinking. Heck, with heart problems in my family, there's also health benefits to the odd glass of red wine. Why wouldn't someone want to prove that they are "over" their addiction, then go back to having wine with dinner, and the odd cold beer on a hot afternoon? All of these reasons make sense to me. They truly do.

But........(and here's where the self-honesty kicks in) can I say that with 110% certainty that one glass of wine, or a beer, will not have me back exactly where I was 4 months ago? Will I be depressed, alone, suicidal? Full of regret? Continuing to engage in riskier and riskier behaviour? Will I be dead? Unless I can 110% say to myself that NO, this one drink will not lead back down the path I was on before, then that one drink shall never touch my lips. Because deep down, I know I don't want to moderate. I want to get wrecked, trashed, pissing-down-my-leg drunk. Sure, I may be able to "moderate" at first, but soon enough, I'll be hiding beer cans in the basement, and getting lit up while driving. To fail to acknowledge this truth (yes, it is the truth) is simply another excuse to use for thinking I can actually be a normal drinker, and pretend something is other than what it actually is.

Will I ever have another drink in my lifetime? Who knows, what will tomorrow bring? Right now all I’m worried about is today. But unless I can say with 110% certainty that moderation will not lead to a return to the downward spiral, then I shall never have that drink. So unless you guys have that 110% certainty that I don’t have, no quitting on your quit eh! And have a great rest of the weekend, an extra-long one for our American friends.

[open halo]

Thanks for sharing your anniversary dinner with us Beachygirl, it sounds absolutely delightful!

You can do this Liz!!! I love those little Pellegrino bottles as well.

Cowboy, I am with you 100%, your words could have come exactly from myself in terms of my relationship with booze, once again reinforcing the need to get rid of AL for good.

Hope everyone is having a great long weekend!

[jane27]

ABC, Thank you so much for this powerful & inspiring post. I loved every bit of it I'm thrilled for you & your 4 month achievement. Thanks for all you contribute here! :hug:

[Lizann]

Made it through the block party unscathed! SIL and niece came by as well. We ended up in our yard for a bit just chatting. A lovely evening. Hard to type with one hand. Lucy is demanding a belly rub! Check back later.

[Ginger999]

Great job, Liz! Can you share with us what worked for you? Was there anything particular? It may help someone else next time. Thx! Now....go take care of Lucy's belly rubbing.

Took the day and went for a long drive (255 miles). My wondering soul just needs that now and again and since getting home in February that has taken a back seat to everyone else's needs. I wish we could have stayed out for the night! My heart is so happy when I'm out exploring and not so much when I'm stuck here. That's what I feel like "stuck". There is so much to see and do out there in the big wide world that staying home just seems a waste of time to me. It's hard being a gypsy in a past life!

While we were gone, we had another huge storm and all my lupine took it hard. Yard cleanup on my list today whether I like it or not.

Happy day to you all. Hope it's a good one.

[open halo]

Ginger, I feel like a gypsy too! When I was 25 I went backpacking for a year by myself, in Asia and Australia, I loved it! Hard to do now with a husband, two kids, a mortgage and a job!

Make sure you make time "just for you", you give so much to your family. I have been trying to do that more and more and I find it definitely curbs my desire to drink as it lowers my stress levels. Sometimes it's easier said than done, but we just need to find the time. Hope you enjoyed your drive.

Happy Sunday Everyone :hug:

[paulywogg]

Yes do share what helped Liz,I'm happy you made it through unscathed feel utterly exhausted today, this needs to end,hopefully when the antibiotics are through with, bought some hair color but I don't even feel like looking at the box haha,ain't happening today, where is everybody? Gloomy and dark here which is fine, fits my laziness, hope Louie is in a lazy mood too,ugh doubt it, check in peeps,hope everyone is enjoying their Sunday

[MinStar]

Well done lizann! I am so pleased for you!

Busy with family and stuff so I am gonna just shout a quick hello. Maybe later I'll get a chance to catch up later tonight!


MinStar