Anyone in the First Week of Their Unpteenth Quit?

[Chief]

I'm glad you're back too, SS.

Like Ginger said, we are all part of each others quit.

One for all and all for one!....lol

[Ginger999]

How's everyone doing tonight? It was a cold rainy day here today. Still got out and walked the dog and did some yard work but it sure wasn't very nice to work in. Nine weeks until we head south! Whoot whoot!! Leaving this soggy weather behind.

[Chief]

I'm doing well. I'm in our local Lion's Club and today we served food at an annual Community Expo that our Chamber of Commerce has every year at the high school. All the local business' have tables set up in the gym and give away products and display their wares. The parents bring their kids dressed up for Halloween and everyone gives candy. We sell BBQ beef sandwiches, meatball subs, hot dogs, chili dogs, Kraut dogs, sloppy joes, homemade peach cobbler w/ ice cream, and various drinks. It was fun and we made money that we give back to the community through our different projects. It was a nice day....sunny and about 65 so we had a good turnout.

Tomorrow I plan on mowing and doing yard work. The leaves are really coming down.

Enjoy your AFness!

[Lola01]

Hi all. I screwed up last night. After 3 weeks, I had two glasses of wine last night. Wasn't thinking right and said, meh...what the hell. Didn't even enjoy it...to compound the angst, hubby smelled it on me and so told me this AM just how disappointed he is in me. Believe me, I'm more disappointed in myself than he is but I'm getting the silent treatment now and his reaction is making me pretty damn mad although I do understand how his feelings are justified...I just don't feel like answering to him.
Anyway, Not sure why I did that except it felt like a reflex. Crap! Back on the wagon again. I'm trying to figure out how much to beat myself up over it but I do find that positivity is a much better motivator than regret. Good news is there is no more booze in the house. I have felt very strong so I'm trying to process what exactly went wrong last night. All I can come up with is old habits die hard? Sounds like a weak excuse though. Heavy sigh....this too shall pass. Thanks for listening!
My very best to you all!

[Ginger999]

Hi Lola, First...glad you came here and posted. Second...this never just "happens". As Chief and SoberSoul have mentioned, we build up to our slip. Before you had those two glasses of wine, you went dark here. You have to stay close to make this stick. If you really want this quit (I believe you do), you have to come here and post, read, post, read. You have to build the habit of coming here and staying close so when that tiny niggle of wanting a drink comes calling, you come her first. All you have to do is post "I want a drink" and the outpouring of support will flood in to hold you up and help you get through it.

Sorry hubby is giving you a hard time. That's a pretty normal reaction from a spouse though. They are learning too.

Dust yourself off and get back on the AL wagon! You can do this with the help of MWO. We are all here for you!

[Lola01]

Thanks ginger. Great advice as always. Dusting self off as advised. What is troubling me is I didn't actually want it or need it or enjoy it. Christ....what is that about? Felt like muscle memory to me....I dont have much more insight than that but I'll keep noodling....yikes!

[Ginger999]

Lola, there may be something to that muscle memory idea. It is an old habit and it does die hard, unfortunately. Some people make a committment to 30 days. Once they've gone through that amount of time it gets a little easier for some. Maybe instead of never drinking again you should start with 30 days. When you get to the 30 days you will be so invested in the quit you more than likely will want to push on AF. Just a thought. If I were you, I'd check out the toolbox (if you haven't already) and see if something there fits your needs and personality. There is so much good info and wisdom to be gleaned from that thread. And remember....stay close.

[Chief]

Lola, if you didn't want it or enjoy it, then why did you do it? You have to really think about your actions. Take the time to learn to think about your thinking. You may feel as though at some point you kind of went on autopilot and just went through the motions of deciding to drink, pouring the drink, and drinking the drink without really thinking about it. When you start to feel like that, and think like that, that's when you have to flip the switch in your head and snap out of it and stop that thinking. I hope this makes some sense to you, because that's what you have to learn to do. It's like there are two different people inside your brain, one who is the drinker and wants to just continue doing what you've always done, and the other is the new girl....well not really new, just been gone for a long time. This is the girl who does not like the way she's been and knows it's not right, it's not healthy, and it's the cause of a lot of problems. And this is the girl who wants to change things because she's tired of not being in control.

That fact that you didn't enjoy drinking speaks volumes. Remember that. When you start to feel like you're on autopilot, stop yourself in your tracks and say to yourself, " Bullshit, there is no autopilot. I am in charge and totally responsible for what I think and do. I am the one who decides what I put in my mouth. Period."

It takes a little practice, but I swear it works. You have to be stubborn in your commitment to quit drinking. You have to not allow yourself to bullshit yourself.

Again, I don't know if this makes sense to you or not. I'm just trying to get you to think about your thinking....

I'm glad you posted. Like Ginger said, stick to this site and make it a habit to come here every day and read and post. There are a lot of things you can learn from people who are struggling and people who are succeeding. Don't be afraid to offer advice to people who are just starting their journey into the AF world. Helping them is also helping you.

You can do it. Just do it. Don't make it harder than it is. Just do it.

Don

[Ginger999]

Another excellent post, Chief. Thanks

[SoberSoul]

Hey Lola, glad you posted. I did the exact same thing a few weeks ago after 4 months of blissful sobriety. I started staying away and then out of the blue for no particular reason i decided I needed or deserved or wanted a glass of wine. I threw my sobriety way while my soul was asleep. I didn't have the benefit of an internal argument. Like you I was on auto-pilot. It lasted a few weeks and again, I am on attempt number million and one. I have five days in and on Saturday night on the way to the pub I chose to eat dinner in because it has 4% beer and I had convinced myself that wasn't really a slip, I slowly came to my senses. I thought I will drink tonight because beer never has been my problem. I love this cold low alcohol draft and had it a few times during my two week drinking relapse. Back and forth the argument went and Lola, do you know why I was able to abstain and not order a beer? For one of the first times, I reached into my TOOL BOX and pulled out a tool.

I told myself that I could drink if I wanted to but only after I had thought about it overnight; that if, the next day, I still thought it was ok to drink that draft, I would do it. This is a tool I had read about and I had put it in the back of my mind.

Lola, we are all sincere about abstaining. Alcohol is a sneaky snake. It dulls your mind, then attacks when you are not conscious. We have to stay hyper aware. That is hugely aided by staying close to this forum and others like it.

I am not successful yet but each fall brings new knowledge and insight as to how the enemy operates. Learn from your experience and use this knowledge the next time you are about to have a drink. It will happen. Have your tools at hand.

xoxo

[Sunbeam]

Lola and friends, I don't often post on this thread, but I read it regularly because it took me a long time to quit. What has been written is great, and the thoughtfulness is key. I think that posting can be a personal journal about your thoughts about drinking. The posts must be thoughtful to be beneficial. I finally realized that I simply don't want to drink anymore, and the road became easier. Those lovely memories of occasions that included alcohol are just that, not the current reality.

[BeachGirly]

Hi,

Any chance you could use another friend on here?
I am new to MWO, but not new to trying to find a way to stop AL. Like all of you, I have tried several times. I have made it 3 months once, lost weight, felt fantastic...I want that feeling again.

What clued in this time, I bought the book and was reading it, and realized it sounded familiar. When I checked my computer, I see I purchased it 3 yrs ago.

Wow - what a waste of 3 yrs.

But, I am not thinking back and dwelling in all the negative thoughts and silly embarassing things I have done.
I am going to think positive and move forward.

I am two days AL free. I have some tools set up, but always up for more tricks and support.

thank you,
BeachGirly (BG)

[Lola01]

What an awesome group we have here...SS, ginger, chief, ori, beachgirl, newbies, oldies,...had a couple SUPER busy (but AF free) days since last post. Was thrilled to log on and see all the great advice and commraderie. It all does make sense (gotcha chief!) and it is all so helpful. Just in the misdt of more sinister thoughts but after logging on and determined in my resolve to be thoughtful about what I do, I feel stronger and will get through this day (witchin hour is upon me.......). Feeling grateful....my cup overfloweth...with good stuff I mean....:heartbeat:

[Lola01]

Whoops...and sunbeam...hello sunbeam :victorious:

[Sunbeam]

Hello, Lola, I'm pretty quiet these days. After 3000 posts, I guess I've said everything in my head. Most of those posts were that early on journaling.