Anyone in the First Week of Their Unpteenth Quit?

[BeachGirly]

Thanks Ginger.
I agree - we are raising our grandson, and it occurred to me - I don’t want him to think of me with a glass of wine all the time. I want so much more for him.

Today, we will do his paper route after school and get some exercise and some fun times together. That is what I want him to remember when he is an adult.


As for discussing this with my mother - tough one. She is an alcoholic, but has not admitted that yet. (possibly to herself, but she does not want to change). She also goes out with the ladies every day for lunch (and wine) and she talks. Every one of her friends knows every detail of my life, even when my heat pump broke. Small town.

I do not want my issue, problem, life style changed discussed around town. I work in a professional setting and cannot let this effect my work.

It is also the first Christmas without my father, He passed away in May. She needs me more now than ever.
I think I have decided that I will tell her that there is no AL in the house, and if she would like to still come, she is very welcome, otherwise she may wish to stay with my brother. She also cannot walk, so needs to be served.

Is that cruel?
Could I just have my husband serve her and I can have Non-al drink? (councilor says that is a very risky situation).

Suggestions greatly appreaciated.

[Ginger999]

BG, Have fun with your grandson. How old is he? I've had all three of my youngest one quite a bit lately and have been really enjoying the clear head for the festivities. Awwww.... Your Mom. That's a tough one. Your counselor is right, it is risky. I lived in a VERY small town and I understand the way word travels. Could you use one of the other excuses I've seen around here? Example: You are on a diet and it's not allowed? You are taking some medication that it can't be combined with? What if you just said you are trying to be more healthy. After all you are raising a young one and need to be around and present for him. AL just doesn't fit into your new life style?? That still doesn't address having it in the house and whether or not you should ask your Mom to stay at your brothers. The important thing here..... Don't drink! Whatever it takes, don't drink. Oh did I mention, DON'T drink? Chief, your thoughts?

[abcowboy]

Well, I'm not Chief, but I'll throw my 2 cents anyway lol

BG - Have you considered a Christmas dinner out? Maybe a licensed, barrier free, family restaurant? No cooking, no cleaning up, beverages of one's choice? Invite the whole family? I know it sounds "cold" for a family Christmas, but I'll tell you a story.... after my divorce, only the two youngest kids were still at home, the ex and I shared kind of joint custody, every second weekend with me, then alternating Easter's and Christmas. Then I met Bubba (Irene) and the kids had to learn to accept a step-mom, which they did very openly. At any rate, the Christmas's we didn't have the kids, either Christmas Eve or Christmas Day, depending on when we were at the in-laws, Bubba and I went out for a meal. We took a wrapped box of chocolates and gave it to our server, wished him/her a Merry Christmas, paid the bill, and went home very grateful! We still do that! There are so many people working in the service industry that would love to be home for Christmas, but for whatever reason, have to work that day. I love to go out and show them some kindness and appreciation! Just a thought..

[open halo]

Thanks for the support Chief, have been AF for almost two weeks now and feeling really good, I think it helps that I'm not battling dreadful hangovers anymore!

It's amazing how the small things in life give you the greatest pleasure, love those Hershey's kisses as well, and those Christmas greetings!

[open halo]

abcowboy, that was a great share, I couldn't even begin to think of how often I would try to get away for a "few" and come home hours, and hours later, and lie to make excuses for my lateness and drunkenness..It feels good to not be doing that right now..and even though I am tired , I know I need to post on MWO daily to help keep those cravings at bay...it does take time to ensure you keep on track for your sobriety, most definitely!

[BeachGirly]

Thanks Cowboy - that is a good idea.
It sounds like it has been a very good experience for you, and has helped you get through without the kids, but has also been very good to the staff that had to work Christmas. Nice!

[BeachGirly]

Thanks Ginger.
I have been toying with similar ideas as well. The diet idea would work, as I am always on some new diet - hehe. I do work for a good part of the day so it will only be dinner (the hardest time). We are going to our adult sons, and I am sure by the time I am home it will be bed time as I work the next day at 7 am as well.
My husband is being very helpful and will be on guard for me as well.

I have bought myself a bottle of Non AL wine to have something in my glass, but really I dont even want to hold a glass. YUCK.

Thanks for the suggestions.

[open halo]

BeachGIrly, at the beginning I used the I am on antibiotics for an infection and couldn't drink..wishing you a good visit. You are trying to make a plan which is an awesome start, remember if you feel stressed or are struggling during the visit come and post we are here if you need us!!!

[Ginger999]

BG, I second Open Halo's suggestion.

Long before a relapse happens, a person starts to ponder the drink. The key to the final quit is to recognize those ponderings for what they are (a relapse beginning) and check in to tell your MWO family about them. The help from friends here will quickly push those ponderings back where they belong.

We do this together everyone....stay close. What a milestone this will be when all of us reach the new year AF! :yay::welldone::sohappy:

[open halo]

Love those positive vibes Ginger, I second the motion!! Most definitely will reach the New Year AF! On the nest there was a post about the signs of a relapse occurring, that Elvis posted.. a good reminder on how to recognize the signs. Keep strong BeachGirly...

[VirginiaVincent]

Tried MWO about 3 years ago, Still here and trying again. Day 1 for me too. Again! Did the supplements before, but never reached out for forum support. I am 57 and need your support.

[NoSugar]

Welcome, Virginia

Support made all the difference for me. In addition to this very warm and welcoming thread, you might want to check out the Newbies Nest. It generally is pretty busy with people at all stages of getting free of alcohol.

Now is a good time to do this. You'll be building your AF muscles rather than sinking deeper into the pit that drinking is.

So glad you decided to post! All the best, NS

[VirginiaVincent]

Thank you for the support.

[BeachGirly]

Hi Virginia,
I am pretty new myself, but I have jumped right in and made some great friends and huge support already.

Stay close and read, post when you can - someone is always close to help.

Glad you have decided to take this step- that is huge.
BeachGirly

[Ginger999]

Welcome Virginia! So glad you found this thread. AS NoSugar mentioned there's more action over on the Newbies Nest but we are happy to have you here too. It's quiet here sometimes but we check in pretty regularly. Making this final decision to quit will be the best Christmas present you ever give yourself! The key is to stay close and read/post as much as possible. And by all means, come here first before you take a drink! Please feel free to PM me if you'd like. We have the age thing in common.