Anyone in the First Week of Their Unpteenth Quit?

[MinStar]

Late check in. Just skim read but won't have time to write to you all. Hope you're all strong!
Managed a night out with uni friend and no booze! Happy but tired and fully of sinus infection so off to bed.

Night all.

[Ginger999]

Way to go you guys! I love "non-events".

Had a great drive today. The weather in the mountains was glorious!

[BeachGirly]

Ginger - sounds like heaven!!!
Glad you had such a nice day

[BeachGirly]

Jane - love your cow picture .
Well... I like cows ��

[jane27]

Hi everyone,

Thanks BG. I love that pic too. I've thought about getting it printed in a large size and framing it- maybe a contemporary frame like lucite. Glad that you can add another non event to your box of firsts. I don't recall having a stressful social situation in a long time. That being said, I'd avoid something that made me really nervous rather than risk it. The memory of blowing my 52 day quit in 2012 still makes me cringe. Twice I blew that quit actually, because the first time I didn't come clean about it (in the Nest). Hubs and I were in Vegas at a work thing of his. Every minute of it was uncomfortable, and I barely left the room. On the last evening of the trip we were at a black tie dinner and when he got pulled East, I slipped away West to one of the bar stations, and with a happy almost evil sense of satisfaction, ordered a wine. One isn't in my dictionary. It only stung for a short bit when we re-met up and I had to break the news to him. He was disappointed, but there were people we had to rub elbows with, and I'm also pretty slick about getting the focus off of me and my wine glass when I have to. The gates were open for that night- I reconciled that decision by planning to pretend it never happened the next day, and resume my quit. That lasted until day 57 at lunch with my father on a work day. All bets were off after that and I drank faster and harder all the way up until January 2014. That's when my current journey began.

Ginger, glad you are enjoying the drive. Its a great feeling to be wanting something then actually have it, and have it feel as good or better than you expected. (Know you've been craving a get away).

I was rrrrabid for most of the day. Initially I chalked it off to PMS but when at 7pm I had 3 sips of coffee and felt magically transformed...it made me think that caffeine withdrawal had a role. I wasn't trying NOT to drink coffee, I just don't really like the taste of it, so it almost feels like work & I forgot to drink the cup I made this morning. Never had that problem with the witches brew! When it came to AL, it was more like the motto of the US Postal Service- "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds."

Wishing everyone a peaceful MAE and the strength to toss another penny in the jar tomorrow. xoxo

[paulywogg]

Thanks for sharing that Jane,did you feel those 2 relapses coming or were they spur of the moment? It seems like I can always feel it,like a weirdness a few days before, maybe a depressed state of mind where I'm just not thinking straight, and what made your last quit"the one"?

[Lizann]

Great post beachygirl. I've been there too. Exactly, that one little glass, no big deal and then gradually it escalated to where we were before. That sadly is where I am right now. My slip up was at 88 days.
Anyway, getting ready to run a 5K this morning with the family. It's for ALS. My MIL passed away a few years ago from it. Sort of a day for hubs to remember and honor his mommy. Still makes me cry. I do miss her so. We had such a great time last year, hoping the rain holds off. Then we will head to Cjs bf joes cafe to help renovate. Don't quite know what to expect. But busy for me right now is good.
Have a good one guys. In case I haven't mentioned it lately, I love you all and appreciate your support. I'm doing this with your help!

[Lizann]

Hey Pauly, cross post. Just wondering how your holding up?

[abcowboy]

Howdy everyone! It’s finally raining here, we need it badly! Something has been bothering me all week and I feel the need to talk about it. The woman who’s bathroom that I’m renovating invited Bubba and I to her 65th birthday party at the Elk’s Hall. It was yesterday, drinks starting at 3 and supper at 6. Ken and Brenda are friends of ours, not the best of friends, but friends we see at functions from time to time. Enough to call them friends anyway. We didn’t go. And here’s the reason why. It’s not because I would be tempted, I’m over that, it’s because of having to explain to people that I don’t drink. I think it’s one of the toughest things about recovery, getting people to accept that you’re a non-drinker. It seems so much easier to just have a beer than to come up with an excuse. We used to make excuses to justify our drinking, now we have to make up excuses as to why we don’t! A bit crazy if you ask me. And this summer, we have a family reunion to attend (my dad’s side) and Bubba and I will be going along with a couple of the kids. So now I have to start preparing for another round of questions as a lot of them are unaware that I quit drinking. It’s like we have some sort of rare disease that others are afraid of, hoping they won’t “catch” it. Or it makes them uncomfortable to be around us as they might see a bit of themselves in us. Our quitting drinking might cause them to have questions concerning their drinking patterns and whether they might have signs of alcoholism.

There is a quote attributed to one B. Franklin: “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.” Certainly there is nothing wrong with a couple of beers at the end of a hard day, and for about 90% of the population, that’s all that drinking amounts to, if they bother to drink at all. But questions need asking if we become uncomfortable when denied the beers. Likewise, questions might well arise if a planned “couple of beers” turns into a full-blown night of drinking. We should be able to predict and control our consumption of alcohol without giving it much thought. When “having a couple” of drinks turns into a prolonged bout of drinking it’s cause for taking a good look at our overall drinking behavior.

One of the first signs of addiction is the loss of control mentioned above. Another is a developing tolerance. If the two or three beers that get a “normal” person tipsy no longer have that effect — if it now takes four or five to “feel” it — that too is a sign of problems ahead. The ability to drink everyone else under the table is not a good thing; it indicates a well-developed tolerance when it takes more to get you high than it used to, and tolerance is a sure sign of a developing addiction.
Even less desirable, and a sign of an existing problem, is when we need to be told about our actions by someone else. Even one blackout — the inability to recall what we did when we were using and awake — is an almost certain sign of addiction.

It’s not what, how, or how much alcohol we consume that’s important, it’s what happens when we drink that’s the key.

So, how do I explain all that to people who don’t understand alcoholism? Or should I even try? I know I can’t stay away from events where alcohol will be flowing, at least not all of them. And I don’t want to make excuses as to why I’m no longer drinking, if I tell the truth, the comments and questions just keep coming. I guess that it’s going to take time, time for friends and family to understand that I just don’t drink and there’s no reason to question the motive. It’s a funny thing, as alcoholics, we’re damned if we do and we’re damned if we don’t…but it’s more important to protect our quits than it is to be thought of as being socially accepted as casual drinker.

That felt good to get off my mind, thanks’ for being here my friends, and more important, thanks for understanding! Have a great day all!

[Ginger999]

ABC, that's important stuff to think about. My hubby's family are BIG drinkers and when we all get together there are CASES (I'm not kidding here), CASES of wine consumed. Prior to May 4, 2014, I was right there with them all the way. The first big event with them after my quit last year, I stressed over how I was going to handle the situation. I had to have that plan in place so I didn't slip but along with that I knew I had to explain why I quit. I spent lots of time trying to come up with elaborate reasons why but in the end, when the wine began to flow, I just said no thanks. When asked, I said I was tired of drinking so much and that it was time for me to stop. End of story. Some people had questions and I answered them honestly but others didn't say a word. Those that need to quit too, know who they are. That's on them, not me. I quit for me and my health. Not really sure where I'm going with this. Just wanted you to know that it will be okay no matter how you choose to deal with it.

Today is our 13th anniversary and my hubby's 65th birthday. Off for a big walk with Ginger then out to my son's for a BBQ and swimming party to celebrate (AF). Should be in the 90s again today so the pool will be lovely!

Take care all of you. You mean the world to me!

[Turnagain]

Hi All....

Cowboy you bring up some great questions we all face after we quit drinking. Change can be threatening to a lot of people - including ourselves! One of the more radical, liberating and - yes, frightening, things I experienced since getting addiction out of my life once and for all - is that I have questioned everything. In other words, I examine everything and look for the reason. And if the reason doesn't have a positive value and evidence to back it up...it's gone.

One of the first things I did was take a hard look at the label 'alcoholic.' I asked myself WHY I had to use this word to explain to people that I no longer drank alcohol. The more I looked at it, the more I realized the label was really quite vague, but terribly stigmatizing with a lot of negative connotations. And as it turns out, this term has no medical basis and no real agreed upon definition. One person's 'alcoholic' is another person's 'heavy drinker.'

When we apply these damaging - and limiting labels to ourselves, it not only negatively alters how others see us - it also damages our health. A huge wave of stress hormones gets released when we engage in negative thought processes which leads to chronic damage throughout our entire system.

So why use the label 'alcoholic'? It seems when people apply this label to themselves, they are trying to communicate - and often reinforce in themselves - that they can no longer drink alcohol. So why not just drop the negative label and in a high-pressure drinking environment simply say "No Thanks." And in those situations where people keep pressing or asking questions, the honest reply that drinking was really hurting your health is usually enough to satisfy people. There will always be those who are threatened when others aren't drinking, because of their own fears about their drinking. That is their problem, quite sadly - in more ways than one.

As for self-reinforcement, it was a process, but I learned to reframe my freedom from addiction in very positive terms. It's actually quite courageous to stop taking in a ubiquitous, socially accepted, brain altering toxin. I came to realize that alcohol was the problem not me. And alcohol will always be the problem - especially for me since years of drinking 'socially' had done its damage. That knowledge, alone, will keep me from ever putting that crap in my body again.

It's interesting now, when people ask me more about WHY I no longer drink, more often than not, they end up asking me for help - for themselves or someone else they know who has ended up addicted. Shattering all the misconceptions is essential in helping more people out of addiction. That's not going to happen overnight - but it can start right now in each of us who have found our way free.

[BeachGirly]

Jane - do you really throw a penny in the jar?
Thanks for sharing your story with us. So glad you are at 500 ++ days now.

I am on cell phone - so will read and post more later!

[open halo]

I went to a birthday party with lots of old friends , I didn't drink and ALOT of people asked me why, my response is that I am training for a race, and wanting to perform at my absolute best. After the party, I thought what am I going to continue to say to answer those questions about why I am not drinking??? These comments and reflections are exactly where my head was last night... I keep hoping eventually the questions will stop.. Do they??

[jane27]

BG. I throw all my change in a huge glass jar under my desk. When it gets about 1/4 full I take it to Coinstar and use the $ on a guilt free spurge. This year it was $200 worth of pink Stock flowers. Gosh are they pretty. And deer proof too.

The penny thing was an analogy. One day of not drinking on an uncomfortable day can be seem so pointless. Strung together they build one heck of a strong foundation and work well in shifting the should I / shouldn't I balance. After a while, the accumulated time does most all of the work which goes right back to the thing we were all talking about yesterday- does it ever become less all consuming (QUITTING DRINKING). It totally does.

Pauly Wogg, back later to answer your questions.

Happy anniversary to you Ging!

Xx

[BeachGirly]

Hah- I thought that is what you meant- but then I thought it was a good idea as well.

Think how much $$ that would be.

Ok- off to save lives - really - I should be working ��