Anyone in the First Week of Their Unpteenth Quit?

[Bandit]

Hi folks, sorry, haven't posted in a bit, have had a lot of things on my mind and a lot of things going on to create them. In the army thread, AB Cowboy and Mollyka congratulated me for doing a month but I am afraid that is not in anyway deserved as I have not done a month at all. I managed 2 weeks and then I did post on here that I had a few drinks and have been on and off since then. Have been applying for a few jobs and have an interview tomorrow, very nervous about it but will get nothing sitting at home moping. I am taking it one day at a time at the minute as I need to do that. Hope all are well
x Bandit

[All done drinking]

Bandit,

Just like some people avoid the label "alcoholic" and don't get help if they only know about AA and don't want to label themselves, I think we can all get hung up on the "AF days we have" and perhaps that can be a negative label as well. I am just starting out on this road to abstinence but think I will think in terms of sober days as opposed to AF days as it seems it may be too easy to beat ourselves up if we get caught up in the semantics. Important thing is that we pick ourselves up and start again, and maybe that's where counting the days can get frustrating. Just speaking out loud, but your post and the 30 days comment made me think of that as I try to create my path of making this work for me.

I personally will try to not drink at all as I have been doing hard core moderation management type work for 8 years now and while I could maintain to 1-3 drinks a couple of times a week for all of those years, it was the one time a month or so that I could not keep to my limit, and then I would have all of those consequences that would follow (hubby being embarrassed or mad, saying something to someone that I regretted, etc.) It really became for me (because I didn't drink large amounts to get stupid) more about - not the amount or frequency that I drank - but how it affected my life when I went overboard.

Good luck with your interview. Visualize yourself being and feeling confident. I'll be sending good energy your way.

Addy (All Done Drinking?...Yes!)

[Lizann]

Hey, sounds like were back to a lot of day ones. We just need to keep at it and eventually it'll stick. Right? MinStar I actually did pick up a book or three. While on vacation, no Internet iPad phone or anything. So I got a lot of reading done. Halfway through another one and I just want to relax here and read. Of course there's stuff to do, but this is my treat.for now. Let's hang in there, were doing this one day at a time. Some days are just better than others. Have a good night guys!

[MinStar]

Morning all. Yes a lot of day 1's. addy- ibteresting post. I do beat myself up a lot about drinking. I'm trying to just let it go known well be mindful of letting it go. T is on the past and I can not change it. Today I can change.


Lizann- good habit to get into. Again like drinking I go through phases and read a lot and then nothing. What are you reading?


Daisy- agree with Eloise- nothing like a real buddy! Would make going out easier huh?

[daisy45]

I am finding it so hard to get and maintain a start. But try, try and try again! Going for a 200 mile round trip to see my son for his birthday today. A good day for day1 as I won't get home until late tonight.
Going to commit myself by posting on Roll call. I am finding this embarrassing as I keep starting and stopping. But that is down to me to get it done. I hope my messing about is not affecting anyone else here......

[abcowboy]

Morning everyone! You have a great opportunity here, a group of quitters all sharing the Day 1's over again, use it to your advantage! And get over to the Steppers thread and drag Pauly back here to join with you guys, she could really use the help! Use whatever you need to help keep each other accountable, FB, Whatsap, IM, texting, or phoning each other! You can all do it!


Edit: daisy, I was looking back through old threads and I see you had started one "Fresh Start", maybe it's time you resurrected it and have everyone join you there? After all, it is a fresh start for all of you!

[Eloise]

No need to be embarrased daisy, just keep trying.
It took me 7 (yup) years of trying to finally stop entirely.
I just couldnt imagine life without wine. Guess what? It is a whole lot easier!

[All done drinking]

Eloise, if you don't mind me asking (as you were so honest with Daisy) could you ever determine what triggered your slips? I know for me, it's taken about 7 years to finally admit that the moderation management thing just doesn't work. Being I allowed myself to have alcohol it wasn't exactly a "slip". Where I would go wrong is I could control it sometimes and other times I just wanted more, more, more and allowed myself to do that so I would then not meet my goals at least once a month.

For someone trying to be AF (which I am now) I wonder what that trigger is or can be for people (for example, someone with months of abstinence). I fear the big party, event etc. My other problem is big drinker family or friends. Found I would always mess up when others around me kept on drinking. So, I fear the cousin going "Oh, come on, just have 1 little glass of wine with us!" and there I go. Any advice with your slips and any thoughts as to how you finally did it and just quit slipping?

Addy (All Done Drinking, Yes!)

[NoraC]

I'm here - Day 2. And that is going to go to Day 3 and on and on and on.
I need it and I am going to do it!

[All done drinking]

NoraC,

Just a couple of days ahead of you - day 5. We can do this. We'll hold each other up. I'm the guy to the right of you (see photo) haha.

Addy (All done drinking...Yes!)

[paulywogg]

I'm with you guys,day 1,Addy,seems like my trigger is emotions, I can be around drinkers and not even notice or care,but get me in a yuck mood and watch out! Drank like crazy Monday night and couldn't even catch a tiny buzz,kept chasing it but I ended up more irritable than I already was,I think the party's over, hope everyone is having a good Wednesday: (

[MinStar]

Hey all!
Quick check in. Came to mums. I know I'm stronger and get lots of consecutive Af days here. Planning to stay the week so hopefully that wj kick start me again.

Daisy- maybe Cowboy's idea of resurrecting the thread is a good idea?
noraC- I remenber you from the Newbies next back in 2011/12. How Are you?
Cowboy- whats Steppers? I don't get much time in the day to check other threads- always have this one open on my phone. I should read more

Off to do just that x

[MinStar]

Ps. Does anyone want to what's app or facetime?

[Eloise]

That is a tough one All done Drinking.
Maybe denial was at the root of it? I couldnt admit that I really shouldn't drink at all. Or, I didn't want to, I wanted to be in control. So, I didnt have any conviction.
Once I said " that is it, story over YOU CANNOT CONTROL THIS" only then was I able to realize, after 6-8 months sober, that not drinking at all is the only way forward for me. Even if, for the most part, I was the only one who thought I had a problem. I spent WAY too much time planning my drinking time.
Since I decided this drinking is off the table.
I know what will happen, there is no mystery anymore.
These days even if I do not post as much I still read here most every day.
I need the reminders of the strength of this addiction, but I do not need to try again and see if maybe this time I can be the one in control?

I am coming up on 15 months of sobriety, but I also know this is not very long and not to get over confident. I continue to avoid drinking occassions for the most part. I will not go to a house party, what is the point? I make social appointments during the day when it would be inappropriate to drink. I do not worry about what has yet to happen, but I do prepare for it. What I mean is what to say if offered wine, besides no thank you. Prepare a good one liner.

[daisy45]

Eloise, thank you. It is almost 5 years since I realised I had a problem. That very first start in 2010 was the one I should have kept....a bowl of very strong sherry trifle changed that! Since then, have got just short of 90 days a few times.
This last fall has been big....started off with a breakdown due to family reasons that left me with anxiety. I do know that each time drinking goes, so do any other problems. Confidence, health, peace....all grows.
It is with knowing all of this that I keep trying but also cannot believe that I have this knowledge and still continue to do damage to myself. Need to change from trying to doing.
Cowboy, must have a look at that old thread. My dad, who died 2 years ago, used to call me Fresh Start.....I have had quite a few bumps in my life and he would see me getting up and pronouncing my fresh start and getting on with it. Talking here is helping get my mind back in the right place.
Even after my long journey yesterday, at 11 pm I was hunting out an off-licence. All closed but came home and drank the 1 glass that was in my fridge.....what a wally. Pointless, but so glad today that I could not get more. Heading to the gym with my daughters....another thing I have just started back to in the last 2 weeks.
So, things are coming together and I will do it.....just building up things around me to make sure I get this one right, once and for all!
Thank you all so much....was getting disheartened again and just reading from you guys now has given me new hope.....the power of love!