To compound your difficulties & struggles with it alcohol from what you've said it sounds as if your ex husband is being emotionally abusive toward you by not accepting responsibility for his actions & being dishonest with your children which I can imagine feels very hurtful when you worked so hard to hold your family together when he was struggling.
You sound like you have overcome many challenges & are very stong & brave. Perhaps it's a time to put yourself first & foremost because you deserve to be happy and healthy.
I really hope you can access real life support & as Ava & Daisy said, come join in on the newbies nest thread, it is a very supportive thread for people who are just starting out ☺
LS
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