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Underoo's Magical May

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    Underoo's Magical May

    puppies.........................
    AF since 10/26/2009

    It will be five years sober 10/26/2014

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      Underoo's Magical May

      Evening Undies. Just back in from teaching and felt a need to check in.

      I've been really ANGRY this last week. My feelings seem to manifest on the trivial and I want to stop that. I think the anger is born of fear, of losing control over situations and over my life. I am such a planner. Control freak? probably.

      Anyway, to get you all up to date if you want to hear I start chemo tomorrow. It will be a course of 24 weeks. Initially it will be every 3 weeks x 4 then after that weekly for 12 weeks. Once chemo has finished I will start radiotherapy, which will be each week day for 4-6 weeks. I am surrounded by so many gorgeous and wonderful friends, my family and I have online support. I am so lucky and remembering that is very important to me.

      The Lamp cries a lot. Sometimes he cries and then I crack a joke and we both laugh until we cry a bit more together. It seems to come and go for him. The locusts are typical teenagers, I think we have protected them from the stuff to come as you really want your kids to be kids as long as they can, but the time is looming and we will see how that unfolds.

      This isn't a whinge post. This is just to let you know I'm not always bright and smiley and mostly pretty snarky but I can see the humour in most of this, the weird little faces on the CT scan machine with the voice that tells you to hold your breath and then to breathe had me giggling. The sign on the doors when I was wheeled into surgery with RADIATION DANGER had be cacking myself. The absurdity of this stuff.

      I taught yoga the other day and finished the class and told them where I was up to for next week, fuck yeah I am teaching. And they all cried...ffs....what is that?

      Anyway...I guess these are random thoughts and just really what I am feeling. I do feel like I talk all day to people and forget who I told what to and where I am up to. I'm fasting too pre chemo and I'm looking at my diet post. Another control freak thing, but I want to enter this with a scientific focus combined with a holistic mind. Makes sense to me :H

      And to quote someone who means a lot to me this is "the roads we have to travel to come out bendy and smiling". And I fully intend to.

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        Underoo's Magical May

        Thank you so much for that post Happs. I'm so glad you feel able to share this with us, although I obviously wish we could do so much more to help you through it. Or stop it from having happened in the first place!

        You are very strong, intelligent and otherwise incredibly healthy so I know you have the best possible chance of coming through it with the best prognosis possible. I know I'm at the bottom of a long food chain, but if ever your army of family and friends is unavailable to help you with transport or you need a different ear to share things with please let me know. :l:l:l
        There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
        You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues

        I didn't come this far to only come this far.

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          Underoo's Magical May

          Morning all,

          Ripper post, Happs. Thank you.

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            Underoo's Magical May

            Morning All.

            Started the day with a massive meditation of peace and white light for Happs. Think I might rub a bit of the stuff all over the thread....get it right in there.....
            If your 8 year old self met you, would they be proud?
            Rejoined life 20/5/19

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              Underoo's Magical May

              Good Morning Undies
              And a special love filled hug for you Happs.

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                Underoo's Magical May

                Morning everybodeee!! just a quick check in before I sort myself to go in. Thanks for the thoughts, you don't know how much I appreciate them. Up early, had a walk around the vegie garden with the Lamp and can't believe how much stuff we have growing there, the Lamp is truly amazing so I will take some photos over the weekend to show you.

                I'm planning a slow cooked meat fiesta over the next while, so get out your slow cookers/casserole recipes and it is game on....Competition time chicks...

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                  Underoo's Magical May

                  Happs,
                  You are going through a hell of a time at the moment, so try to be kind and gentle to yourself.
                  You are surrounded by a loving family, and you'll get through this with your determination and positive attitude to life.

                  Lots of love,
                  Raggsy

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                    Underoo's Magical May

                    I have been started on a new drug to try to ease the horrendous pain in my arm and shoulder.
                    Gabapentin.... it's taken the edge off the continuous pain, but geez it makes me really drowsy.

                    Aspy, I was thinking, rather than hook into Mrs. Aspys stuff, why not take $7, go to a friendly doctor and ask him/her for something to relax, calm you down a bit, take the edge off so to speak.

                    BTW, I found my first geocache yesterday. Found 3 other sites but couldn't for the life of me find the caches. Doesn't help that I'm not very mobile so can't squirm under/around things to seek out small caches.
                    Mr. Rags and I are going to hunt for a couple tomorrow. When I am a bit more adept, I want to place a few of my own.

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                      Underoo's Magical May

                      Hey Undies I'm bored!! Bit off my chops too haha. Posting off poxy phone. Waiting for next lot of drugs to go in

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                        Underoo's Magical May

                        Arvo all,

                        Raggsy - glad you've found a better drug and maybe being drowsy is ok for the moment? Maybe it's telling you to rest up a bit?

                        We've had the most magnificent autumn weather down here. Misty mornings and then wonderfully bright, sunny days. I've just finished a four-hour weeding session and am now officially buggered.

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                          Underoo's Magical May

                          Yay Happs! You can talk to us while your infusing. Great stuff.

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                            Underoo's Magical May

                            Except I'm going home!!! Finished apparently

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                              Underoo's Magical May

                              I got what was happening wrong

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                                Underoo's Magical May

                                Aspy, in my experience with the anti ds (no longer on - woohoo) they take about 2 weeks to kick in & it's a pretty uncomfortable 2 weeks. Is it possible it was the amazing placebo effect...?
                                Jones, you were biting the nails to the bone due to an Amuse Bouche...something to do with Swears-a-lot Ramsay...I'm fascinated to know what he's done with nails to make them so tasty???

                                Happs, thank you for your post. I used to get the shits explaining to people & spending my energy making THEM feel better about what was happening. It was draining reassuring others so thank you. I love the Lamp. He sounds wonderful.

                                Puppies...yay
                                Formerly Angelcakes, new name, new attitude.

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