Taking charge

[choice]

I didn't think I'd be here today so, I don't have any kind of plan yet. All I know is I need to check in daily for a while...:thanks:

[available]

Taking charge

Hi Charge

Wow you ahve done some great af days, congratulations on that. Can i ask why you took that drink again?

Checking in makes the world of difference in me keeping sober so welcome back.

[damo180]

Taking charge

Hi Choice,
Welcome back.
You DO know the bad old days will return.
You need to come back here and get sober again.
And you will help others with all your experience of sobriety.

I have relapsed regularly. Thankfully i have built up 3 months again.
I cant go back drinking again. The quits are getting tougher.

Please stick around.

Damo x

[little beagle]

Taking charge

Checking in is the start of a good plan.

[j-vo]

Taking charge

Choice,
Check out the thread in general section on "what drinking was like for us in the end." Don't know if that's the name of the thread, but read that. It's an eye opener as to what we don't want to end up going through again.

[choice]

Taking charge

Day 2 AF

I am feeling much better physically and mentally today. My life is so different now from when I worked so hard to get sober. I'm proud of what it's become. My plan right now is back to the beginning 30 days AF. ODAT to achieve this goal... And considering buying a piece of jewelry to reward myself/remind myself how wonderful life is sober when I think maybe I can have a drink or two.... The thing is... I don't really have the time to go through what I did last time... I'm married now and have an absolute lovely little girl. She is 17 months. I love my life. This will be my inspiration.. It's not just about me now, my responsibility is so much greater now. I feel strong... And just pray this was only a wake up call.

The reason I drank was because of a terrible fight I had with my sister... And it was the end of a 5 week trip home to introduce my daughter to my family. The trip was tough, very tough. I was around drinking quite a bit with my cousin who I use to get smashed with...oh... Lots of things.... Sorta led up to it I guess. But why I took the sip was just being exhausted saying no to what I knew I wanted in that particular moment. So here I am in the best place I can be on this amazing site. I'm so glad it exists. :thanks:

[choice]

Taking charge

Oh yeah... Just wanted to say.. J-vo.... That thread was the first one I read when I logged on. I read it and thought ....perfect timing. Huge comfort in knowing I'm not alone and that it is an ongoing challenge to stay sober. :l

[NoraC]

Taking charge

Choice - Big hugs to you. :l:l:l:l

[choice]

Taking charge

Day 3 AF

Yesterday was great. I was glad I was back here... Feeling so much better getting over hangover... Overall feeling of well being etc. it was really annoying to think about AL so much. Back and forth thoughts... Like I don't really have a problem... Then thoughts of what the heck... Why am I obsessed.... Guilt... Yuck! I had drinking dreams when I was sober and was so glad when I woke up. Wish this were the case this time. I hate how mental this is. I know it's just a feeling, or an emotion... And it will pass. I'll feel better probably in a few hours. I'm fine. Still in charge.. But have the AL creeps right now. See you tomorrow. :thanks:

[3June2013]

Taking charge

Choice welcome back. That creepy AL is a sneaky one eh? Whispering in your ear, telling you BS. You are here because you were tired of saying no, but the negotiation is a lot tougher I think. Just one, just today, only two, only after 5 only on weekends yada yada. he longer you go without the easier it is, you remember that right? Hang in there, we are along for the ride too!

[available]

Taking charge

Good on you Choice for posting daily and saying how you are feeling. It is not worth drinking AT anyone, obviously it solves nothing and did not hurt your sister one bit, you on the other hand......

The early days are the "pits" and keeps me from not drinking, i never want to do another day 1 again and sober is way way better. We just need to realise that we do not miss out on anything by not drinking.

You are doing great!

[choice]

Taking charge

I agree completely June. No is so much easier. After a while I didn't even think about AL at all. It never even crossed my mind. So at least I know that's possible... It really feels similar to going back to an ex boyfriend that you know is bad for you..... Come on time.... My daughter is sleeping right now... Usually I love this quiet alone time to myself... I am ready for her to wake up now though..lol... So we can just get into our day. The suns out so I think I'll take her to the beach library, then playground.

[choice]

Taking charge

No, we don't miss out on anything not drinking . available... We miss out by drinking way more. I haven't heard of drinking AT someone. That makes since. I think what lead up to accepting that wine on the plane was a combo of anger and exhaustion traveling. My coping skills that are normally spot on had just taken a tole. In retrospect I should have been logging in here for support while on my trip. The one night slip was after my family left after my wedding. (2 years ago) I can get through what seam more like tough temptations... I didn't drink at my wedding, didn't drink when around people drinking who I use to drink with on my trip etc... But I haven't respected the fact that being strong can take a toll and I need to check in for support if I've been around a lot of drinking especially in situations when I use to drink. Also,I love my family... But I think dealing with family issues is a major trigger. I thankfully live very far away and probably won't see anyone for a few years because of cost alone.... But I need to deal with some junk that I'm not in the mood to process.... But I probably should as it looks like I got into trouble coping and drank. If that makes since....

[available]

Taking charge

If your not in the mood Choice dont process, day by day not drinking is all we can do. The other stuff will still be there for you to deal with at a later stage. I just always told myself "today i will not drink" and see how it went the next day when i would say the same thing. Seems to have worked.

I remember when i first stopped drinking and my boss was pissing me off and i just so wanted a drink but why did i need to drink AT him? It did not solve anything, i would have been back to day one and he would have won (unknowingly of course). I drank at my mother with regards to my past, god i would drink at anyone if it was an excuse to drink. We cant change the past but we can make our future better by not drinking.

I went on a holiday with my mother a few weeks ago and we had a wonderful time, i was not drinking, she did not drink to support me and i realised that drinking al was 99% of the problem, it made me sad, mad and angry. I have let that go. Sure she annoys the crap out of me but i love her for what she is and the past is the past.

Some families need to be as far away as possible Choice ha ha. Congrats on your wedding but there was certainly a trigger that made you drink by the sounds of it.

Today is a day spent enjoying your toddler sober and that is totally worth it. I stopped drinking as my children were staying away from me due to my drinking (adults now) and that is not how i envisaged my life becoming. Now they are proud of me and we are regaining the trust, my life cannot get any better now i dont drink and i could not bare to see the disappointment in their eyes if i was to start again.

[choice]

Taking charge

Day 4 AF

Feeling much more normal today. I read your post last night available and decided to take your advice. I don't need to process all my problems today or even right away. That will just overwhelm me. That is wonderful that your kids are proud of you for getting sober. It's a lot to be proud of! Well, it's Friday here in New Zealand and I am really looking forward to Mother's Day weekend. Starting with an 8:30 am yoga class Saturday morning. I love early weekend mornings sober. My hubby always takes care of baby on Saturday and I get some me time. Life is good. I'll see you tomorrow.