I'm a bit hurt today

[Bella]

I told my best friend today about my day out yesterday and how I didn't drink. She said how virtuous I was (in a mocking way). Then she said "oh sod off you boring cow, I want my old mate back!" Meaning the old mate who was drunk alot and I suppose more of a good laugh. I felt really hurt, as she knows the problems I have had with alcohol. she was in the house when I took an alcohol induced over-dose. She is my best friend and i value her friend-ship. She likes a good drink herself, but knows when to stop. I think it always made her feel less guilty about her own drinking habits when she saw or heard about my drunken antics. Now, I'm being sensible and it's not an easy ride at all but tonight I feel like a boring old cow who has no personality without the booze. This is hard and I don't think anyone of my family and friends really know how hard it is to just go cold turkey. You all understand. Thats why I'm telling you. Have any of you ever had a friend who was unkind about the 'new' you? Love, Bella xxx

[Java]

I'm a bit hurt today

I have had many friends who have acted strange about the new me, and a lot of times I have falt very boring and much less fun. I used to hang out with a rowdy crown and I could drink all of them under the table, I got crazy, and I know I wasmuch more "fun" so to speak. But you know what, I think some of them just were not happy they culd not do it themselves, and I know I am still fun, just in different ways. Now I can me be, not what comes out when I am drunk, which is not me. Don;t worry, hopefully she will accept the new you, and maybe even realize it is better than the old you. People dontl like anything that emphasizes their own bad habits, so maybe the new you is just making her feel bad abotu her own drinking...and so she wants the old you back, so you can take all the heat for it.

[happycamper68]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella don't be hurt- your friend probably has her own drinking issues and is projecting. She cannot justify her own drinking if she doesn't have a friend to do it with. Plus you are preggers what the heck is the matter with her?

[Guest]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, I am not defending her BUT people that do not have our problem JUST DO NOT understand. They just can't. I think they try, but it is hard if you don't have the problem yourself. We're here for you and you are not boring!

[lushy]

I'm a bit hurt today

Yes I can relate and you are far from boring Bella.

[MonaCat]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, what she said, and the way she said it was certainly hurtful...yikes!

[Guest]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, I agree with happy. She has her own issue,and she is probably a bit jealous of you. Funny how it is, sometimes our "best " friends want to sabbatoge us.
Smiles
Mar

[Saint Jude]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, I'm sure she misses you...ie-spending time withyou like you used to do... & just doesn't know how to express that. Sorry you got your feelings hurt.
I've been guilty plenty of times of making light of something, when I didn't know how else to...I hope you & your friend can talk this out. Sounds like you care a lot about her.
:l
Judie

[Determinator]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, I'm going to guess that she felt quite bad for saying what she did in retrospect. People say things when they are uncomfortable and in an "out of parameter" situation...then think it over later.

on the other hand...if I had a friend that lambasted me for my postitive lifestyle changes...they could kiss my bleedin' bum! and no garlic for them ever again!
so there.

[Niblet]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella honey, I'm so sorry that you have experience this.. I know how much a friend can hurt you even when they aren't aware of how badly their words can cut... Sometimes people are hurtful when they feel threatened.. Your friend just lost a drinking buddy and I too agree with Happy that your friend likely has her own issues with alcohol.. I'm hoping that maybe you and your friend can maybe share some sober activities and relearn how wonderful a friend is..

[AndrewUK]

I'm a bit hurt today

Hi Bella. I'm similarily wondering how I'm going to handle this is the next few weeks. As its summer I'm going to try and suggest a few new things: a walk in the countryside, a trip to a theatre or concert, visit a gallery, a bit of cycling. Actually come to think about it some of these things I did used to make time for before my darker days. Please be strong and positive as we know on here that we can't return to our old ways. Andrew

[Otie]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella,

I can really feel for you. It hurts. I had a friend - I thought she was a friend, but not - who knew I had alcohol problem and still encouraged me to drink - because it served her purpose. I believe that a real friend would understand and respect us when we tell them about our alcohol problem.

All my love,
Otie
:h :h :h :h

[irishlady]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, we all have to choose our own path to follow, some of us follow the wrong one, I know I did for a long time... You have now found the right path for you and your baby.. It could be that your friend is jealous of your new found strength and wishes she had your courage to give up drinking.. If you have to pour poison into your body to make yourself interesting then I would much rather be boring but healthy...

[MDBiker]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, I hope you two can work this out for the sake of the friendship. I was in a very wild crowd and I had to just let some of my friends move on without me. I still see them occasionally, but we cannot have the same freindship we had before because they cannot accept me as I am sober. It was one of the things that made me not want to let go of the alcohol. I wanted so much to be able to drink a little with them, but I can't.

I hope you can work this out


bear

[Newyear]

I'm a bit hurt today

Hi Bella,

So sorry you were hurt in that way. Kind of feels like a slap in the face doesn't it? Here you are working so hard and trying to make your life better and then out of the blue your friend actually calls you names! Seems crazy and is definitely hurtful. Just for the record, you are not boring. You are sober. There is a big difference. So don't believe the hurtful words.
We know that being drunk isn't the answer...it does not make you witty or charming or beautiful. In fact it does the opposite. But when everyone is drunk there is still the illusion that those things are actually true. But with you sober- the illusion is gone for your friend.

Try not to judge her too harshly. I agree that she most likely has her own struggles with drinking and this is hard for her.
You are fabulous - and beautifully sober.

Lisa