I'm a bit hurt today

[gabby]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, One of the things that I got writing away on here in response to someone else that her boyfriend was still drinking and she was trying not to and he wasnt ready to quit that I even amazed myself I gotta go find.
brb....

[paula]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, I really would question the motives of this so called friend, especially as you
are being so sensible and responsible by not drinking whilst pregnant.
If she can't change her attitude perhaps you should reconsider the friendship.
Love Paula.

[sammys]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, I had a very good friend so I thought and now we do not even speak. We live in the same neighrborhood and she will not even look my way anymore. I always was there for her always doing for her and it did stress me out alot. I needed a break of course when I started MWO and decided to change my life. Some people only think of themselves and have very little tolerance for change. Stick to you guns I did and am discovering all kinds of things out about myself and my happiness.

Sammys

[gabby]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella this was about a girl and her bf and she was feelin bad cuz he was drinkin and she was feelin left out. She wanted him to keep his promise to quit for a little while I think or somethin like that. Cant remember for sure. So its not exactly like your situation.but kinda like drinkin buddys that one is stoppin and the other is not. Anyway give it a read.


_______________________________________

I know its hard. You feel jealous. Like he is gonna have all the fun and you are gonna be bored and miss out. But if you can try to think of this.
May sound stupid but just try.

Picture a bridge. On one side of the bridge its cold and dark and you are doubled over in pain. You are there with others....your BF and the others in the pub.

On the other side of the bridge is warmth and light and healing from your pain. You can barley imagine this. Its just a glimpse. But decide that you are going to cross the bridge anyway. You have tried to convince your BF and the others to come along but they just don't see what you see. So you decide to travel alone because you are ready for your journey.

You start. Faintly...you see and hear people cheering you on from the other side. The further you travel....you begin to feel what has been promised to you over there. There is light, warmth, healing and love on the other side of the bridge which is a better place. The journey may be slow....but each day you feel better and better and you like this feeling and it is very rewarding. Maybe on the other side of the bridge its just us cyber folks. Maybe we are dorky....but we are real. Cyberspace or not....we are real. We know what you are going through and can help encourage you along. We want you to succeed and heal. Nattie.....We want you to make it over to this side of the bridge. It feels so much better here on this side. I guarantee it!

Once you get over here....you can look back and see the others on other side of the bridge that you left. That side is very clear. Much clearer than the vision of us when you were crossing over here. You can see the cold darkness and the people that are doubled over with pain. You may be tempted to go back and drag them over to us.....but it can not be done. No one can be dragged or forced across this bridge. Each person must go at his or her own choice, when the time is right for them. Some will come, some will stay on the other side. The choice is not ours.

We can love them, we can wave to them. We can holler back and forth. We can cheer them on as others cheered and encouraged us. But we can not make them come over with us.
If your time is now to cross over the bridge....take advantage it. Dont allow failure to happen just because it isnt time for your BF to cross over. If you stay in the dark for him it will just be bad. Instead stay in the light. It is better for you and it will be better for him too cuz you will be there to cheer him on when he is ready. Move forward with your life despite what his choice for his life may be.

Boy that was long. I even surprised my own self. humm.....

Better get on to work now. good luck nattie. Hurry up now....and dont look back for now. Just get on the bridge.....you wont regret it.

__________________
Gabby (just 10 more days to a full year AF!)

Anyway.....just have us as your buddys for now. The other will work itself out.

[chilli]

I'm a bit hurt today

Sometimes you lose friends when you decide to be sober, it is really horrible, i had friends who would say really shitty things to me all the time about my drinking, then when we got to gether they would always top up my drinks (as if i needed help) then when i got messy they would punish me for days, these were my friends that were suppose to have no drinking problems but always seem to be drinking, it was just that they could handle more than me.
Well over the last few months i have progressively lost quite a few friends as i struggled with the alcohol because when i got drunk i would tell them that i didnt like the way they treated me, so consaquently they told me to piss off , so i was a mess for a long time and drank a hell of a lot more, by myself, but now i realised that they needed me to be that way to make them feel better about themselves and that mybe i should find myself some new friends, it has been a lonely road but iam hoping it will get easier and i will meet some people that like me for me and not to make themselves feel better because they think they are better than me. If she is a true friend she will understand the struggle you are going through and support you. keep going and keep posting
chill

[imatree]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, that sucks.
Reminds me of a few years ago when my best drinking buddy decided to quit (well, she actually did that a few times). I was completely supportive of her getting sober because I love her and worried about her drinking (this was before I realized I had just as much a problem).... yet, I felt terribly lonely, because I didn't know how to hang out with her anymore. So the problem I had with her quitting was MY problem, not hers. you rock on, do what you need to do. You just may be an inspiration that saves her.

[Bella]

I'm a bit hurt today

Thankyou for all your comments! God I really am lucky to have you all. This friend of mine is someone who I have known for 25 years. She is someone who I think i will be friends with for ever. I spoke to her briefly last night. She said she was only joking and she was just jealous. So, I am forgetting about it now. A new day and all that.
Thankyou my friends - Bella xxx

[AMELIA]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, unfortunately when we are drinkers we chose to have people around us who are ok with us drinking. When we start to cut down or stop drinking some friends will get uncomfortable with the changes and it seems like this 'friend' is.

You need to explain all that you have said to us, to her and see if you can find a way forward. Sometimes it's just an issue of communication, but it just may be that as you are changing you may be outgrowing some of your friendships too.
Be strong for yourself, I know how painful that situation must have been.
Amelia

[goingsobermum]

I'm a bit hurt today

Hi Bella,
What a ratbag! I'm glad you had a talk but really sorry she hurt you like that. It must have been really hard not to drink at the wedding and I think you did marvelously.
Its funny how we all think that drinking makes us fun and sober makes us boring.
Hugs
Suz

[trixietrack]

I'm a bit hurt today

sounds like a bit of contempt in your friends part. hope she can overcome, and you can both grow together.

[betty boop]

I'm a bit hurt today

Bella, it sounds like your friend regrets what she said, but, tread carefully love ....

We are all proud of you ........

BB xxx