Need some help...

[briseus]

Need some help...

Thank you Patty. xx

[available]

Need some help...

Bris whatever you have journalled is important to us and to yourself in the road to recovery and maybe posting what you put will make it all look real to you. Being an alcoholic is not easy for any of us and we can only do what we feel is right and you will find what works for you. What worked for me was being so bloody determined and honest to myself and mwo and being accountable. I posted on here daily, twice daily, bloody 50 times if necessary as this was my AA, this was where i would get a response if i was floundering (sounds like your AA person was damn useless). I also found a thread that i felt comfortable with and now i know i can rely at any time on my cyber friends to help me if i feel down and out. No al in the house and i started to let my body heal. We cannot fix the world but we can fix ourselves with time Bris.

Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself, you will get there and you are still here.

[Pavati]

Need some help...

Hi, Bri:

I felt that same way for what I considered to be a long time. As they say - you only need to do two things - take care of yourself, and don't drink no matter what. I thought this post on the Pink Cloud Effect might help:

The “pink cloud” is best described as a period of time where the addict or alcoholic experiences a reprieve from the struggles associated with early recovery. These struggles are generally associated with the feelings of depression, anger, resentment, self pity and the realization of where their drug addiction or alcoholism has taken them.

Upon experiencing this phenomenon for the first time, the addict or alcoholic is understandably excited. They begin to believe they now “hold the key” to their recovery. This is where the seed for relapse is planted. They begin to believe more in themselves than in the process they have been following. Without the pain as a daily reminder, they tend to forget about what it took for them to embrace recovery. Denial rears its ugly head and they minimize how devastating their drug addiction and alcoholism really was and that they have a disease of drug addiction and alcoholism that requires attention on a daily basis. Relapse prevention becomes an afterthought as the person becomes defiant and rebellious regarding suggestions contrary to their desires. Without resorting to drugs or alcohol, the individual in recovery is one step away from relapse. Remember, relapse is not an event, it is a process.

Pav

[little beagle]

Need some help...

Thank you Bri. Your posting your struggle and the replies were very helpful for me. The past couple of weeks have been a little tough for me. Some negative criticism left me feeling a little"oh it doesn't matter, might as well have a drink, I'm just a big old ugly Bi*%h". But I hung in there and I'm so glad you did too. That sneaky old AV or dick head as Byrdie calls it hits us hardest at our weak moments.
And as you aren't hearing from your friend, I'm betting things AREN'T going so great with her moderating.
:goodjob:

[allswell]

Need some help...

Hi Bri,

For the longest time I couldn't break the period between 3 and 4 months. It's when life is the way it is but the novelty of not drinking has worn off. Tough!!!

Everyone has offered excellent advice on ways to deal with things. Our thinking about alcohol has to change.

Congratulations on making it through.

[briseus]

Need some help...

Thanks guys - I think I might end up posting that first journal entry - maybe in a few days...or when I finally gather up the courage to do so! I am still sober...I didn't even realize that I passed 4 months...I am now at 131 days...wow. Soon I will be at FIVE MONTHS!!!! I have never gotten this far in over 5 years...in FIVE years I was perpetually drunk - pretty much every single day - and it got to a point where there were even mornings. Lately I have been thinking more and more about how 'nice' it would be to have a drink - of course, I know this is my addictive voice - I forgot all the shitty things...but when things do seem to be going well (besides those mini meltdowns) you can't help but think "oh, this would top it off!!" - what a joke! I think I need to go back to journaling, reading and posting. I have been on here more often lately - reading posts and all old ones too and have taken advice from Byrdie and reading posts by people who had sober time and then 'blew' it...
Anyways...here's to another sober night, and another sober week coming up.
xo
Bri