who to look after, him or me?

[SKendall]

who to look after, him or me?

Roxane, I am so sorry for your situation. I honestly can't add anything to the wisdom already posted. I do know that in seeing my mother die of cancer it was better to deal with it sober than numb, it made her passing more real instead of delaying it. My brother stayed absolutely blotto thru it all and had difficulty for 2 years until he got some a.f. time.

Do the best you can. We will be here for you.

Flip, that is tragic what happened to your parents. Congratulations on your sober time.

[roxane]

who to look after, him or me?

Wow flip, that is a heck of a lot to to go so suddenly.


it was a (very large) smack in the face that made you look at your own health and you acted on it. well done you :h

[roxane]

who to look after, him or me?

thank you to those that have pm'ed me made me feel abit special lol

3pm is the start of my trigger time if i am home as is driving home whatever the time is.

yesterday, we were seeing the onc. i had made the appointment as we were both worried and i managed to drag Ade out. well it was worth it as he has prescibed stuff for his lack of appetite and also depression. with the amount of treatment he has had over the last - cant count so i'll give the date- nov 05 his mind and body is worn out.

next tues. is the second course of chemo and after the third he will be scanned to see if its worth carrying on gulp.

on a brighter note, i went AF last night!!! driving home i took kudzu and it definitely helped with the urge. during the day i had been taking herbal pills for the anxiety i knew i would get and they worked too. then at night i took a temazepam to sleep (from my husbands pharmacy lol) it took a while but worked. woke up at a shocking 9.30. lucky i'm not working today.


Chryser, my withdrawals usually are


anxiety which i believe is phsyical (no alcohol to suppress)
night sweats (didnt get that last night)
sudden appetite, partiularly sweet stuff (no sugar from the alcohol)
problems sleeping (but i aslo do when drinking, 3-4am wake ups)
craving, particularly certain times

the first 4 last about 3-4 days, the craving unfortunately does not go away but kudzu helps and the habit to drink no longer there helps also.

after that i have a strong desire to get things done, anything, so i try to find stuff to keep me busy.
also a sense of release from thechains of drinking, so why i went back to drinking after two weeks is beyond me. i could have lapsed and then stopped again but i didnt.

sorry for the long post, for those interested i will start a new thread soon to let you know how we are getting on

thank you all for your thoughts and support

roxane

[happycamper68]

who to look after, him or me?

Rox, how about going to the doc for yourself, explain your situation, and get yourself some meds for yourself that will help with the the withdrawal. My mom died when i was 24, I was not an alcoholic back then but she had some valium that helped with my nerves that helped me get through the last few weeks of her life. Once the valium ran out about a week after she died, that was that. A decent doc will give you something for your DT's (detox), for a week or so or longer that will help you taper off. You don't want to get hooked but if you aren't drinking but an irritable wreck you really should get something. Plus you need to have yourself looked at anyway. Don't neglect your own health or else you always won't be your best for him. Get that pain in your abdomen checked out.

Good luck and so very sorry this is happening to you. :h

[buffy]

who to look after, him or me?

Hi Roxane, I am so sad to hear what you are going through with your husband. I know that feeling, somewhat, after sitting with my sister while she went through chemo. I took Xanex to get me through....can't drink with it though....even though I tried...I learned real fast....I also think that any MD with any kind of heart, will give you something to help you get through this. They may be worried about you mixing meds with alcohol....I hope you take care of yourself...

[Dog Woman]

who to look after, him or me?

Roxane, my thoughts are with you. When my 19 year old son was going through treatment for testicular cancer last Dec. I didn't drink at all. It was weird. I think family and friends thought I'd do the opposite. Don't know why and yet when we were having problems with him getting arrested and being under probation, I drank. I needed to numb out. I think it was because I didn't know what to do and with cancer there was a procedure to follow for us and him. Sometimes having to "be there" at all times is too hard and its nice to numb out. Do what you need to do for yourself and then your husband. Our thoughts are with you.

DW

[roxane]

who to look after, him or me?

going to the doctor is not an option for me at the moment as i'm applying for something that needs medical records, and a drinking problem would not look good, though i suppose i could tell her i'm having trouble sleeping, theres a thought. but we have been going through this for ever so why a problem sleeping now?

i do have some temazepam and some herbal pills which work so i'll make do with that.

i dont get aggravated just tense in that i cant sit down and fidgit alot.

[paula]

who to look after, him or me?

Roxane, do be careful with the temazepam, they are fine for short term use
but can become addictive. Paula.