Domestic violence

[chrysa]

Domestic violence

Good going Kitty...I am thinking ..are you leaving first & then have your stepdad go get your things?. That would be best. Do you have money for travel? Leave in the morning or whenever he is not there. Go to a safe house if you have to first & then on to your friends house in London.

Very good. We will all be worrying & praying & wishing you God Speed!!

[ScoobyDoo]

Domestic violence

"The elephant man" :H I like it sista At least you can have a little giggle on the inside to yourself, and maybe in a few years from now, you'll be able to look back on that moment and realise that in fact you possibly had more power than him, by virtue of the fact that you are a decent human being (not sure if that makes sense but hopefully you know what I mean).

What I like about this post the most is that the romantic feel for him has diminished and I think you're seeing him more clearly. I think that this attitude will help you the most in escaping him.

I know what it's like to be in a sub-standard relationship which you know has a dead end and for some reason you delay ending it... but this one that you're in Kitty is like a toddler playing with fire. It's imperative that you stick to your guns on this. I do not believe for one second that any one of us are over reacting to your situation. And look at it this way Kitty... if you give yourself say 4 months away from him (zero contact) and after that 4 month period is up, if you still think you want to be with him, you could go back (but you already know in your heart that you won't, don't you )

I have been telling Mr Scooby about your situation and he is equally furious and upset as I am over it. I have worked out part of what is appalling me so much, and that is this; I have zero tolerance to any form of abuse but particularly child abuse. In my mind, a person who is intoxicated, has diminished capabilities possibly equal to that of a child... so to hear of a man beating his so called 'loved one' when she's in a state of diminished capability, and while he is sober, just makes him 10 times more powerful... which just makes me 10 times more sick.

I think Bear should call on 10 of his Welsh biker mates to make a little house visit to this so called 'man'.

Don't worry about alcohol at the moment, other than the fact that you need to have your wits about you for your safety, so yeah, better to be AF. You poor bugger!

London is sounding like a good move. And your step-dad sounds great! You obviously have a good relationship with him, and I hope he is as disgusted with him as what we all are. What a disgrace to himself!

You're going to be happy and free from this bastard soon Kitty.

Scoobs

[Kitty]

Domestic violence

Thanks Scooby,

And yes re. the "Elephant man" comment I do like a giggle. That's one of the reasons I am/was with my partner. He can light up a room with his sense of humour, but his friends whould kill him if they knew what he is capable of.

I think Bear did mention he had some mates. lol

I feel 100% more positive than I did yesterday, and I'm really happy I told you all about my situation. The support I have had has been overwhelming. This thread is full of people that I will never actually meet in the face, but you've all shown me so much love and kindess within you messages.

I'll keep you all posted.

Kitty

[Beaches]

Domestic violence

Kitty,
With each post I feel even more confident you will get out of this situation and be true to yourself and be well! Keep checking in.

[SKendall]

Domestic violence

Kitty, you are sounding better already. Sometimes we just need to feel the love and support of others to jump start a positive action. If and when you need to move your stuff, along with your step dad you may want to have a law enforcement person with you.

Your partner is a coward.

Keep us posted.

[chilli]

Domestic violence

Hi kitty,
My partner was the same, I use to get beer musles as i would call them and bring up all the shit that was bothering me, he hated it didnt want to talk about it normally why would he want to talk when i was pissed, so he use to say really bad things to me at first, then it got physical, and then i got out. So maybe have a look at why you change so much with him, does it happen with everyone or just him. Some times you need to evaluate if this relationship is toxic, really try to step away from everything and decide wether maybe you are really not happy in this relationship and that is why it always gets ugly, that was what my problem was and the more he was abusive the worse i became.
If your really think it can work then you both need help, you for drinking, and him for anger and violance.

[ScoobyDoo]

Domestic violence

Chilli, if you re-read Kitty's posts, you'll see that this is a different situation for her. In my humble opinion, this relationship is beyond saving, for reason of Kitty's livelihood.

Scoobs

[lucky 2.0]

Domestic violence

Kitty, I say RUN!

But with a well thought out plan and hopefully lots of support. You know you have the support of the MWO site.

Pls check in.

[cassy]

Domestic violence

Hi Kitty..log in today as so many here are wanting to support you emotionally and practically...dont let him get a hint you are on the way out of this relationship as he will tunr big style/

hopefully you will get to friends in london and take some time to rest, get healthy and get a new job...this will put your self esteem on the way up...........believe in yourself..you are good enough in the eyes of God.

Dont leave it to long...how about this weekend to get going??????????

Regards Cassy

[tea]

Domestic violence

Kitty, I have been away for a few weeks and have not read through all this post but want to say to you to contact Women's Aid/Refuge immediately...... they WILL help you.... that is what they do every day of every week etc etc. They will help you emotionally, financially and practically, they will have heard your story a thousand times (unfortunately) and will not judge you !! Please do this TODAY.

L xxx - you are NOT alone

[Lotus]

Domestic violence

Kitty

Sorry did not log on yesterday.

Just wanted to reach out and say good on you to leave this relationship. My dad used to (still does from what I've heard) beat my stepmum and each time he's apologises and say it won't happen again, not without making stepmum feel that she did "ask for it", so she stayed and it does happen....when things don't go his way.

If you love someone you don't resort to violence. Don't blame yourself. He's a grown man and he should walk away and calm down if he feels that he is going to snap.

Please do make use of the help available to you. The woman aid is excellent in helping and they will help you to get in touch with the jobcentre for financial help. (I used to work for the jobcentre so if you need any advice of welfare benefits please feel free to PM me).

Take care Kitty and remember we are here if you need us.

[Sue Can Do]

Domestic violence

There is no excuse and no reason my husband could give me if he hit me. NONE

[I Like Brandy]

Domestic violence

Kitty;

I was telling my friend about you yesterday. And of course, the "IT COULD NEVER HAPPEN TO HER" sydrome was in her voice. I know that you love this man, and like I explained to my friend, THEY DON'T CHANGE.

She has two girs 8 and 12, plus the most BEAUTIFUL 8 DAY OLD LITTLE GIRL! I told her eventually she has to put his DUMB A#@S OUT!

Anyway the RN from Visting Nurse taught me the procedure on treating the infection from the C-section, and she wanted to know if I was going to go back last night to teach A-Hole Hubby how to clean the wound...I told the RN "ABSOLUTELY NOT"..I made it my business to go back to my friends house before the A-Hole came home from work. I checked the wound and left before he came home..

When the RN was leaving I told her I would stay on top of it, and she said she left her number for my girlfriend or me if there was any problem during the night.

PS...To make matters worse my friend is very involved with the Church..The church has a program where people cook and bring food for the first few weeks after a birth of a baby.

THIS A-HOLE TOLD HER HE WAS GOING TO THROW THE FOOD AWAY, HE SAID THEY ARE NOT CHARITY PEOPLE. Anyway, she gave me some of the food...

Now talk about stupidity, the church is making it easier for the new mothers so they don't have to cook for a few weeks. The A-Hole won't come home and cook, he expects dinner to be on the table waiting for him. The night before last he told her "SHE IS A FAT LAZY SLOB AND HE WANTED THE NEW CRIB MOVED OUT OF THE LIVING ROOM, THE CRIB NEEDS TO BE ASSEMBLED, HE EXPECTS HER TO DO IT.

Your're in my thoughts and prayers..

:h :l Brandy

[Prest4time]

Domestic violence

Brandy,
Just my 2 cents, and then I'll shut up. I would not be able to sleep at night knowing my friend's husband was esteemed at church while torturing his wife at home and putting her and an 8 day old baby at such risk. You should go straight to this "church" and tell them for safety reasons for you and your friend, that this information you need to share has to remain anonymous, but tell them that the food they are sending is being thrown away (I would have taken this food she gave you straight to the church as proof) and tell them all the gory details and then put them on the spot to ask them "what" in fact they are going to do about it? If their answer is not acceptable, that church would be all over the six -o- clock news.

You know about it for a reason, and that is to be her voice. So go speak.

I cant read this thread anymore b/c it hurts too much.

Kitty, hope you are safe!

[louise]

Domestic violence

Kitty, where are you? Some days, the world makes no sense. A man goes beserk on a college campus and kills wonderful caring people and Kitty's boyfriend and Brandy's friend's husband are just not in the right place at the right time instead of the people that were in the wrong place at the wrong time.