Recently I had a PM from a member and in my reply I mentioned something about choices, reasons and excuses.. That set me thinking about things and I would like to share those thoughts with you..
We all make choices, big and small?. On the world stage George Bush and Tony Blair have had to make some very big choices, but, this is not the place to debate those choices? Bringing it down to ground level, our choices are not so big compared to those, starting with the smallest ones such as what colour of toilet paper to buy, white or pink? And going on to the bigger ones like, should we get married, move house, change jobs?
We don?t make these choices without thinking about them.. Even small things like deciding the colour of the toilet paper, the brain is computing perhaps thousands of impulses per second as our hand reaches out to take the paper off the supermarket shelf..
Now we come to the choices connected with drinking.. I think for people who don?t have a problem with alcohol the choice as to whether or not to have a drink is about as important to them as choosing the colour of their toilet paper? There is no guilt or anger felt whilst making this choice, they don?t feel as if they are breaking a promise or letting themselves or others down, they don?t spend an hour or even longer arguing in their mind, will I / won?t I, they don?t have to fool themselves into believing that all they will have is just one drink and they will stop after that? They probably don?t even break into a cold sweat at the thought of never drinking again?
Then there are people like us, people for whom alcohol is a problem, an addiction.. So when presented with a choice as to whether or not to have a drink, how can we make a rational one ?? In deciding, our brains are bombarded with thoughts and feelings, and the outcome of our choice can be even more important for us then any of the big choices we make in our lives?
So many times over the years I have stood on the line, desperately craving a drink, trying to make the right choice, finally making it, only it was always the wrong one, but, I always had my reasons for that choice, my reasons for drinking.. At least that is what I told myself.. Some of those reasons stretched right back as far as my childhood, and some of them were as fresh as yesterday.. They were MY reasons for drinking and as such were important to me, or so I thought at the time?
Over the last eight months I have been doing a lot of work on myself to try and eradicate all the reasons for my drinking.. At times it has been very painful but theraputic as well because you get to know yourself better and it sets you free..
The major thing though which I realised was this, during all the years of my drinking I didn?t have one single reason to drink, not one.. What I did have in plenty however were EXCUSES.. That?s all they were, my bad childhood, a father who kept leaving home, a suicide attempt at the age of thirteen, low self esteem, no confidence, an unhappy marriage, they were my excuses, my justification for drinking.. They covered up the truth which I couldn?t face, and that was simply my addiction to alcohol..
Once I realised that, it made it easier to stop..
To bring this full circle, when I get a craving now and I have to make that all important choice will I / won?t I, it makes it so much easier to make the right one because I have no more excuses left..
The dictionary defines the words REASON and EXCUSE as the following,
REASON
A rational motive for a belief or action
The capacity for rational thought
The state of having good sense and sound judgement
EXCUSE
A defense of some offensive behaviour
A poor example
So, what makes you drink?? Do you have reasons, or are you like I used to be and you just have excuses.. Be honest with yourself when you answer because it just may help you to beat this addiction..
Take good care of yourselves,
Love from Louise xxx
We all make choices, big and small?. On the world stage George Bush and Tony Blair have had to make some very big choices, but, this is not the place to debate those choices? Bringing it down to ground level, our choices are not so big compared to those, starting with the smallest ones such as what colour of toilet paper to buy, white or pink? And going on to the bigger ones like, should we get married, move house, change jobs?
We don?t make these choices without thinking about them.. Even small things like deciding the colour of the toilet paper, the brain is computing perhaps thousands of impulses per second as our hand reaches out to take the paper off the supermarket shelf..
Now we come to the choices connected with drinking.. I think for people who don?t have a problem with alcohol the choice as to whether or not to have a drink is about as important to them as choosing the colour of their toilet paper? There is no guilt or anger felt whilst making this choice, they don?t feel as if they are breaking a promise or letting themselves or others down, they don?t spend an hour or even longer arguing in their mind, will I / won?t I, they don?t have to fool themselves into believing that all they will have is just one drink and they will stop after that? They probably don?t even break into a cold sweat at the thought of never drinking again?
Then there are people like us, people for whom alcohol is a problem, an addiction.. So when presented with a choice as to whether or not to have a drink, how can we make a rational one ?? In deciding, our brains are bombarded with thoughts and feelings, and the outcome of our choice can be even more important for us then any of the big choices we make in our lives?
So many times over the years I have stood on the line, desperately craving a drink, trying to make the right choice, finally making it, only it was always the wrong one, but, I always had my reasons for that choice, my reasons for drinking.. At least that is what I told myself.. Some of those reasons stretched right back as far as my childhood, and some of them were as fresh as yesterday.. They were MY reasons for drinking and as such were important to me, or so I thought at the time?
Over the last eight months I have been doing a lot of work on myself to try and eradicate all the reasons for my drinking.. At times it has been very painful but theraputic as well because you get to know yourself better and it sets you free..
The major thing though which I realised was this, during all the years of my drinking I didn?t have one single reason to drink, not one.. What I did have in plenty however were EXCUSES.. That?s all they were, my bad childhood, a father who kept leaving home, a suicide attempt at the age of thirteen, low self esteem, no confidence, an unhappy marriage, they were my excuses, my justification for drinking.. They covered up the truth which I couldn?t face, and that was simply my addiction to alcohol..
Once I realised that, it made it easier to stop..
To bring this full circle, when I get a craving now and I have to make that all important choice will I / won?t I, it makes it so much easier to make the right one because I have no more excuses left..
The dictionary defines the words REASON and EXCUSE as the following,
REASON
A rational motive for a belief or action
The capacity for rational thought
The state of having good sense and sound judgement
EXCUSE
A defense of some offensive behaviour
A poor example
So, what makes you drink?? Do you have reasons, or are you like I used to be and you just have excuses.. Be honest with yourself when you answer because it just may help you to beat this addiction..
Take good care of yourselves,
Love from Louise xxx
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