First, let me start by saying that I am not suggesting that my cure is not for everyone ---- not by a long shot. It addressed my physiological imbalances, resulting in a shockingly easy cure.
In short, my new life began with a visit to a new PCP. I wanted to give one last try to a new doctor and humble myself one more time with admitting that alcohol was a huge problem for me. Praise be that my new PCP was also a psychopharmacologist (which I wasn't familiar with) and was quite confident that she could "fix" it, and promised me that if I did what she said, I would feel 15 years younger in 18 months. I left her office hopeful for the first time in year. And here's the thing: 8 months later, I feel better than I have in years and years. I HAVE MY LIFE BACK!
I really hate to attribute my success to the power of prescription drugs, but......my success has been due to the power of prescription drugs. Period. As I said, it won't work for everyone (although my doctor would most likely disagree), as everyone certainly does not share my specific brain areas of over-activity and under-activity. But the combination of antidepressants, anti-seizure meds, and vitamins that she prescribed was effective almost immediately.
I now can even keep a bottle of my formerly "best friend" in the house and not even think about it! A few times I have made myself a drink, and end up pouring most of it down the sink. I used to be the person that would guzzle my very, very stiff drinks, and then gulp from others' drinks when they weren't looking. Yep, that was the old me. A little more about the old me: extremely depressed with suicidal tendencies; drunken, slutty behavior when on out-of-town trips; ruined relationships with family and friends due to alcoholic behaviors; dumpster diving once to retrieve a half-empty bottle that I had thrown out that morning in one of my many "I hate alcohol...I can't do this anymore" moments, etc.
I once could not imagine life without alcohol. I felt damned if I did and damned if I didn't. Now.....I am happy again. I can enjoy simple things in life. I am the world's best grandma to two 2.5 year old girls and one 18 month old boy. I am attractive again (if I do say so myself), have energy, and do NOT have hangovers, cravings, shame to the point of not wanting to live.......
Here's what my doc did: had me supplement my diet with B and D vitamins, doubled the dose of sertraline I was on; started me on lamictal, wellbutrin, and trazadone for sleep. (She is a firm believer that the majority of our health issues come from lack of quality sleep.) I hate taking that much medication, but I hate being an alcoholic even more. Of course, the meds do have side effects. I became very, very sleepy all the time, so doc switched sertraline to Cymbalta. Ongoing side effects are serious constipation and memory loss to the extreme it is almost comical. At work, I swivel my chair to get something, and I have forgotten what it was----in the span of time it takes me to swivel my chair! But I can live with that; I would not live long with alcohol. I know that if I just wait a minute or swivel back to the other side of my desk, it will return to me. I'm not as quick as I was, but I'm still competent. To me, the side effects of the meds sooooo outweigh the benefits.
Yes, a sober life is wonderful! I am grateful every day for the chance to recapture my life and have an opportunity to live each day to the fullest. I try not to focus on the lost decade, but rather thankfully embrace the fact that I am no longer in that place. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude for my new life!!!
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