ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

[Zenstyle]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Hiya Fenny! XXX

I read all the Tolkein Hobbit books in this house as a kid... I have the same books at my house in FL. )

I've given in on the weather improving... I have my "Celt" sheepskin boots and leggings and several layers of clothing and really warm jackets so HEY HO! Fashion has gone out the window. I can't even wear mascara as the wind will blow it into my eyes, so to heck with it all I say!

I think the blackhouses you saw are pretty much the same as the ones here. Today I learned that the "other" houses are called "white houses"... I guess they are the "posh" ones with mod-cons!

You and Mrs Fen would like it here Fenny... )

[Zenstyle]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

I'm having a real slow read-back... the internet connection is not all it could be here. Sunny... I'm glad you are talking about your feelings... honesty with ourselves and each other is important. Sometimes I kinda see MWO as being a bit like the religious aspect on this island I'm sitting on. People are wary of sharing their true feelings because they might not "match up to the rest" and sometimes that leads to us being discombobulated and out of sorts with our true selves... just a bit disconnected... and that is a hindrance. It's free-ing to speak your truth...

Plus, nobody on this thread judges... that's the great thing about it. I don't feel intimidated to be fallible, and who wants perfect anyway really?

OK! That was deep! :H :new: Off to switch the lights out... Ma and Jim and slumbering in their rooms and Jack is sawing logs at the foot of the bed! That cat can really snore! :h

[Lizann]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Zen how about waterproof mascara? Though I'm with you, "fashion out the window"

[sunshinedaisies]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Zenstyle;1696431 wrote: I'm having a real slow read-back... the internet connection is not all it could be here. Sunny... I'm glad you are talking about your feelings... honesty with ourselves and each other is important. Sometimes I kinda see MWO as being a bit like the religious aspect on this island I'm sitting on. People are wary of sharing their true feelings because they might not "match up to the rest" and sometimes that leads to us being discombobulated and out of sorts with our true selves... just a bit disconnected... and that is a hindrance. It's free-ing to speak your truth...

Plus, nobody on this thread judges... that's the great thing about it. I don't feel intimidated to be fallible, and who wants perfect anyway really?

Thanks Zen - I do feel better for putting it all out there - it has been a hard couple of days and I am so pleased that the others have chimed in too - as you said sometimes one doesn't want to feel they don't match up - but I had got to the point where it didn't matter. I was just posting 'chat' stuff before - not what I really wanted to say and the main purpose of this whole web site !!

And on that note - love the weather that you are having - it reminds me of the time when I got to UK once and went for a walk along the cliffs - the rain was coming sideways the wind was so bad ! But I LOVED IT !!!! I am glad that you are having a good time.

I am off to get ready for bed ..... have a good evening everyone,

Hugs, sun XX

[NoraC]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Zenstyle;1696431 wrote: Sunny... I'm glad you are talking about your feelings... honesty with ourselves and each other is important. Sometimes I kinda see MWO as being a bit like the religious aspect on this island I'm sitting on. People are wary of sharing their true feelings because they might not "match up to the rest" and sometimes that leads to us being discombobulated and out of sorts with our true selves... just a bit disconnected... and that is a hindrance. It's free-ing to speak your truth...

Plus, nobody on this thread judges... that's the great thing about it. I don't feel intimidated to be fallible, and who wants perfect anyway really?

OK! That was deep! :H :new: Off to switch the lights out... Ma and Jim and slumbering in their rooms and Jack is sawing logs at the foot of the bed! That cat can really snore! :h
You are so right, Zen - I have been comparing myself to all the others that have succeeded and was so angry at myself. I just didn't feel like I could/should vent/cry because of being a failure. So, putting on my big girl panties & going to post what I'm going thru.


sunshinedaisies;1696437 wrote: I was just posting 'chat' stuff before - not what I really wanted to say and the main purpose of this whole web site !!

Sunni - you are absolutely right!!! Thanks for opening this all up so that we could talk. It does help to be able to discuss what is going on with me. I was in my complex of "I have to be perfect.....I can't let anyone know that I'm struggling....I have to protect/take care of everyone".
That right there is the majority of why I'm here at MWO - trying to finally be done with this addiction. **I need to take care of everyone. I am strong...I will take care of everything......**
**Yep, that's me alright. I need to work on that big time. I think that will help me in many different areas of my life. Number 1 being TAKING CARE OF MYSELF! :goodjob:

[Zenstyle]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

I had one last log in before chucking the laptop off the bed. Nora... you're describing me there when you describe yourself. I'm a caretaker. And it can really be a problem when one gives to others and not themselves. I won't stop doing it, I enjoy fixing things, but I need to be more self-aware at the same time. So I hear you. Wish you were here... we could go for a hike tomorrow, have our eyelashes blown off, and discuss this shit!

Lizz... I'd do the waterproof except I can't ever wash that stuff off! I'm left looking like a racoon. Ach... nobody here to see me anyway... a few old crofters in dungarees... And I'm sure they wouldn't even notice much of anything in the mascara department in any event!

Oiche mhath! Will see youz later... sleep tight... XXXXX

[mama bear]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Good morning spammers...
Coffee and shower. Then I will read back.... I need your thoughts on an issue I am dealing with that has me very upset. My boss, that has been wonderful and kind and supportive, is obliviously very angry with me and I have absolutely no idea why.
I'll tell you more in a bit. I love you all.

[sunshinedaisies]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Morning Jan - gosh - you have no idea why your boss is ticked with you ? maybe she has heard about the head-hunters? Maybe Tucky has been saying untruths ?? Can you ASK her what is wrong ? :l:l

off to walk two of the dogs - back later

Sun XX

[Recluse]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Good morning

Sunny, I envy you your high energy levels, mine have never been terribly high. You explained "all mouth and trousers" just fine, BTW.

It's great that you managed to talk about how you are feeling with regard to drinking. That's what the forum is for, after all. Is there any way you could take 1/3 of the pill each day? If it was possible, it might reduce the side effects and you would always have some AB in your system so you would never be able to drink.

Sorry to liz, k9, nora, cori and anyone else who is struggling with drinking.

Enjoy your day off today niner.

Mama, I'm really impressed that you got head-hunted, you must be very good at your job! You have a lot to think about there. If nothing else, perhaps you could use the job offer as leverage to get a raise if you decide to stay in your present job?

Nursie, you sound as though you really want another baby. I hope things work out for you.

Lavender, hope the brain fog clears. I'm another one that doesn't handle major stress/anxiety/worry very well and it can be a big drinking trigger for me.

Pauly, that's great news that michelle got a job!

Dotts, I like the fact that you can e-mail your doc with issues. Regarding your doggies being frightened of the storm, mine was played a "scary sounds" CD every day when she was young and isn't frightened of anything. Sometimes I wish she was! Sunny's thunder jacket idea is interesting, I'd never come across those before.

Cori, I totally agree with you about the best defence against alcohol being to not have any in the house.

Zenny, glad you managed to get some tourist stuff in yesterday. Shame about the conditions, it's rubbish weather considering it's August. :upset:

:hallo: kradle, fenny and anyone else I've inadvertently missed.

My aging car is with the car doctor today, having the beard that's growing out of its bum surgically removed. Hoping the bill isn't going to be too astronomical. I really need to start thinking about replacing the car soon as it's on its last legs (wheels?).

Amy has come to the end of her puppy food and it's time for her to start eating grown ups' food. A courier delivered a big sack of "natural" dog food this morning. It's certainly not as good as what you feed your two boys zenny, but it's much better than the usual commercial pet food shite and I think you would approve!

Happy Friday to all (well, maybe not to the spammers!)

[sunshinedaisies]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Hi Reccy - lovely to see you - sorry that your car is in the barbers - LOL I had never heard of that happening - wonder what it is and what causes it ?

I tried taking 1/4 of the pill but then knew that I could drink the next evening ..... unless I took the 1/4 that day - having to take it daily isn't as good for me - when I take the 1/2, I KNOW I cannot drink for at least three days .... I shall take another half tomorrow when I get up which will stop me drinking then on what would have been my fourth day ..... but thanks for the suggestion. I just feel so bloated when I take them - maybe I should try some gasX or something - anything to get rid of the bloated feeling. :H

And yes, I am so glad that I talked about it and yes this is what the forum is for - but Zen was right when she said that if everyone else seems to be doing well, one feels slightly shameful about posting about struggling so I am really glad I did and that all the others have chimed in !! Wonderful! And I think I did ask and you did tell me but I have forgotten (love getting old) - where are you re AL ? if you don't mind telling me again....

I also have our dogs food delivered by huge bagful - and get the good stuff too - although the dogs do not seem to like the good stuff as much as the rubbish stuff - maybe like kids and junk food and healthy food !!! How old is the one that is going onto grownup food? We have a one year old, a two year old and a three year old - roughly !!

Okay - got to go and pull up two tomato plants - I have found out that it is those that are making the dogs sick - the minute they get out they make a beeline for the tomatoes and are pigging out on them - next year ALL the tomato plants will be going behind the fence in the veggie patch!! They are nearly finished anyway so I will pull off all the toms that I can and then put the remains on the compost heap!!

have a wonderful day everyone ......

Sun XX

[Nursie]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Good morning everyone,
Zen! There are other types of pain patches too, but they are narcotic. They may help with the pain though. It would be worth asking! My friend in the UK uses them so I know they have them!
Mama, let us know what's going on! Who could ever be mad at you!? Hope not gets sorted out today before the weekend.
I just haven't felt like drinking. Though I have dreams I am drinking! Then I wake up so happy I didn't drink. I am with everyone else that I do not have an off switch.
I'm trying to focus on being good to my body and being healthy, as I feel like a fat cow.
The cravings will come this week-end, I'm sure. I plan to stay busy, and do some fall cleaning to get ready for the new school year.

[fennel]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Hi there, reccie! I wonder why your car has become suddenly hirsute? Do you have any idea what the next reccie-mobile will be? My car is on it's last wheels, too...but they don't make the oh-so practical Honda Element any longer. No idea what I will go to next.

Mama, I'm with Sun...ask your boss what's up! I do wonder if she's somehow heard about the head-hunter. Does she monitor online activity? Or, maybe she overheard you? I hope you get things settled. 30k extra $ would be pretty awesome.

Sun, I thought you put fences around your toms so the dogs wouldn't get to them. The little turkeys! I hope you will TTDP tomorrow.

Heading off to the cabin soon. Feeling very blah myself today. Work guys here already- and I know we're paying them to be here, but it's so hard. Also, every time I log in here and see that the number of posts by spammers has increased exponentially, it kills me a little. The entire site is being overtaken.

[sunshinedaisies]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Oh Fen - I know what you mean about the spammers - I reported all of the ones on the previous page just in case no-one else had - they are just crazy stupid right now. I have never seen them this bad. I just try to ignore them.

Sorry you are feeling blah today - although I am sure that being at the cabin will perk you right up!!

Most of my toms are behind fences - but this year I put another raised bed in and it has two tom plants, two pepper plants and a basil plant - and as next year (or the end of this year) I will be moving it, I didn't put an extra fence around it - it would have made mowing the grass harder and plus at the time these dogs hadn't touched any toms. It was later in the season that one of them discovered them and then the others must have seen her eating them and they all started - they have been throwing up on and off for weeks and now I know why!!! One or two are fine but they pig out on them I presume ....

Morning Nursie - good to hear that you are doing so well!! even if you do feel fat LOL

MUST get out to the tomato plants as I have to leave for town at 9.00 so am running out of time

Hugs, sun XX

[mama bear]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

ahhhh......a Zenny take-me- away story......I got a huge Tramadol shot in my rear when I pulled my back out....it made a big difference....maybe a shot is in order??
My boss has been acting strange since the Orlando trip. I will be the first to admit that I am blunt and to the point. I am a company girl, but I do not kiss ass or play kissy face to be in favor. That's one of the reasons I prefer working with men. Anyhoo, all I can figure is that I said something to girl I was training that has somehow been mis-interpreted.
What makes me angry is that I HAVE called her twice and asked her to please share with me what I have done to offend her. She is abrupt and icy on the phone and very curt in emails. When I called her, she said, verbatim ....J#an, I have MY canoe. You can choose to be in MY canoe or good find a NEW canoe.".... I was flabbergasted and said that I was completely in her canoe,, but I was reaching out as I sensed a small leak was developing in mine, and I had no idea why. She asked me if I had anything to tell her, and as God is my witness, I do not.
As time passes I go from a being a whipped puppy with my tail between my legs, to being LIVID.
I humbled myself and asked for punishment and she wants to talk about canoes????? WTF!!!
Needless to say , hubs wants me gone as my job is so tough already and he knows the daily BS I go through. I reached out to people I know and that prompted the headhunter call. She doesn't know about it...she started being bitchy before he called. Let me add the the company is in the process of selling some properties that she has had for years and some long -term employees are leaving. I get that she may be upset, ,but be an adult and don't take it out on me.
I didn't say anything here 'cos I feel like all I do is bitch, but you all are my "people" and I trust and rely on your instincts. Hubby is too close to it and is really mad. He has given me a 2 week deadline and then said to leave my keys on the desk if she doesn't "man up" and talk to me. She would get a property with no manager and no assistant....
I hate this discord and I usually tackle issues head on, bitch it out, solve it, and move on. This is torture for me.
Enough about me...hope everyone has a awesome Friday.

[paulywogg]

ONE STEP AT A TIME... AUGUST, 2014

Mama,that sounds weird,wtf?Reccie,you have got to tell us what was up with the car when you get it back,i'm dying to know! day off today but i know i'll be running around as usual,i gotta take Brady to his school to get his schedule,i hate going over there with all those kids,bleh,i don't know if i'm gonna continue campral you guys,it seems to make my anxiety worse,and i'm getting shaky,it's back to school weekend and i know i'll be busy with kids at work and i can't be shaky! maybe i'll skip today and tomorrow then start up again Sunday,i'm gonna call the doc at 9 see what he says,and no i'm not making excuses to drink,i could drink on it anyways but i won't,hope everyone has a nice Friday