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    #16
    What comes next.....?

    Softy, I had several thoughts and reactions to your post:
    First- I think its' very wise that you've stepped back and taken some time to really consider whether you could/should have that beer, you've been considering. I think that with many folks, me included, it's too often an impulse decision, that is rapidly made (and maybe rapidly regretted).
    Second- your humility and wisdom to come to this august group and get their collective advice is great. I have read the responses from some folks whom, I have come to really admire, is really wise.
    Third- I can relate to your achievements in your physical fitness, based on your sobriety. I too am very active (cyclist) and via my cycling coach and some sophisticated heart rate monitors and wattage-output sensors that I use on my bike while training, I have empirical evidence that I am stronger, and more fit; AF vs. while I was still swallowing poison. And, for me and I suspect for you, the achievement of this enhanced fitness is just one more tangible reason to never swallow a drop of poison again.
    Fourth- finally, doesn't all come down to a measure of risk/rewards? Sure, having a beer has some level of reward in it. But, does it even come remotely close to the risks? As I said, this point has been made much more eloquently by others.
    Good luck with your decision.

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      #17
      What comes next.....?

      Frances,
      Believe it or not, it wasn't until I hit about the 2 year mark when the 'forever' thing not only didn't bother me, but I embraced it! Time will be your very best friend on this journey! So just keep taking it a day at a time, and before you know it, YOU will be saying thank the good heavens above I am not a slave to that crap anymore!! You will get there! Hugs, and GREAT JOB on your 6 months!!!! B
      All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
      Tool Box
      Newbie's Nest

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        #18
        What comes next.....?

        Hi Softy , and all who posted.
        Great thread.
        Hope you are well my friend and stay off the sauce.
        I am still on track myself and 2 months AF on Monday.
        And running a marathon tomorrow.

        You have helped me Softy. I still take 10 to 15 minutes most mornings with the calm app.
        Its a nice start to the day. It was your good self who recommended it.

        Best wishes.
        Damo in Dublin
        Still trying !!!
        AF 25th June2014

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          #19
          What comes next.....?

          The calm app is a winner - meditation sounds a bit soft to some - but taking time each day to get your head straight really is very important. Mostly my reach for drink was impulsive. Training your mind to recognise thoughts and control them is vital.

          Good luck with the marathon - big challenge that is - as is staying way from alcohol

          :goodjob:
          Last drink 6th September 2013

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            #20
            What comes next.....?

            Softy;1697451 wrote: The calm app is a winner - meditation sounds a bit soft to some - but taking time each day to get your head straight really is very important. Mostly my reach for drink was impulsive. Training your mind to recognise thoughts and control them is vital.

            Good luck with the marathon - big challenge that is - as is staying way from alcohol

            :goodjob:
            What is the Calm App Softy ?

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              #21
              What comes next.....?

              Freedom softy. That's why I don't drink. I was a slave in bondage for years. At the end virtually unable to leave the house on the weekends. Couldn't go out and get in the car, day or night and just go. Now I can.
              Thank you for posting this for us all. Many of us ask the same question. Seeing it in black and white. Well there it is.
              No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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                #22
                What comes next.....?

                Thanks for your post Softly.

                From personal experience having that 'one' doesn't work out well. 8 years ago I had 4 months, was on a backpacking trip and had a little Vodka (couldn't get anymore, and it wasn't mine so that was all I had). A month later I was on vacation and decided having a martini would be fun. One lead to two (or maybe 3) and 1/2 a bottle of wine. After that I fought with it for 5 more years until I finally had to quit due to a 2nd DUI.

                I still occasionally think having that 'one' would be nice. I'm learning when I think that way I need to share how I'm feeling with others (which you are doing here) and the idea goes away.
                Soberity Date - 7/11/11

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                  #23
                  What comes next.....?

                  little beagle;1697528 wrote: Freedom softy. That's why I don't drink. I was a slave in bondage for years. At the end virtually unable to leave the house on the weekends. Couldn't go out and get in the car, day or night and just go. Now I can.
                  Thank you for posting this for us all. Many of us ask the same question. Seeing it in black and white. Well there it is.
                  LB, What you wrote? This former slave would like to hug you for it.

                  Thanks,
                  Pie :l

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                    #24
                    What comes next.....?

                    Congratulations on a year! You have created a safe and comfy new lifestyle and you are happy! Your friends and family are accustomed now to you not drinking. That's wonderful!
                    I wish you all the best. And remember, you don't have to think about forever, just today!
                    Day 1 again 11/5/19
                    Goal 1: 7 days :heartbeat:
                    Goal 2: 14 days :happy2:
                    Goal 3: 21 days :happy2:
                    11/27/19: messed up but back on track
                    12/14/19: bad doozy but back on track

                    One day at a time.

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                      #25
                      What comes next.....?

                      satz123;1697457 wrote: What is the Calm App Softy ?
                      It is a meditation / quiet reflection programme that I have used to take time out of my day at the witching hour! That being the time of day I would crave the first drink it is an escape to sit, reflect and think before acting. Calming the mind and talking to myself about what's going on generally helped me realise I didn't need to drink

                      I mentioned a while ago to Damo and he likes it too

                      It may not be for everyone but I find it helps me
                      Last drink 6th September 2013

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                        #26
                        What comes next.....?

                        Softy, I was just talking to Jane about this earlier today, but if you think one year was good being AF, wait til you hit year 2. It makes all the difference. You get comfortable in your own skin. There are no more witching hours. You feel normal. And normal is VERY good. So when you ask yourself what come next after year 1? The answer is, Year 2. And it's a good one! Don't quit before all the magic happens. It is a wonderful feeling to be happy and free! Free of the anger, despair and depression! Free of all the regrets! Being AF is the best gift I've ever given myself! Keep up the great work! Byrdie
                        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                        Tool Box
                        Newbie's Nest

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                          #27
                          What comes next.....?

                          Hi, Softy!

                          Your posts were inspirational to me when I was first getting sober. I have and use the Calm app because of you.

                          I have moments of "just one" but what keeps me from giving in? 1) The memory of my last hangover/anxiety attack/ withdrawal. A truly AWFUL feeling. 2) The positive changes that I have made in my life since I quit. 3) The idea of "if only one, why not none?" What would one beer do that no beer can't? And if having only one were easy, why would I be here in the first place?

                          Anyway - you got some wonderful answers. I hope you have a great run in September - and many more after that.

                          Pavati

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                            #28
                            What comes next.....?

                            Thanks folks

                            MWO massive - what a lovely bunch you are :h
                            Last drink 6th September 2013

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