Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

[gitawine]

I have not been posting lately but have been reading everyday, it really helps me and makes me feel connected to something. I had a good memorial day weekend. My goal is Moderation and I felt like I did pretty well. Memorial day we had people over and I drank for the better part of eight hours, but drank Mike's Hard Lemonade, as opposed to wine or liquor. When I went to bed I didn't even feel buzzed. I liked feeling part of the crowd but being clear headed, of course the hard part is, I don't always know how alcohol is going to affect me every time. Thursday nite had my girls over and drank most of a small bottle of wine...for me thats moderating, but I felt more tipsy than I wanted to. I guess the good part about it was that I didn't like the feeling and I was able to pour out my last glass of wine cuz I knew I didn't need it. But I felt different, I guess because I was so focused on how much or how fast I was drinking and how I was feeling. It's hard to relax like that....I've told my friends a little about MWO and told my best friend I was going to buy a CD Alarm Clock to listen to my Hypno CD's...She laughed and said "your turning into a freak" which really upset me. I know she was half joking, but I know she was half serious too. I guess I shouldn't have mentioned anything to them. It's so much easier to fight these demons w/ some sort of regimen to hold onto, at least for me. It makes me feel proactive. My BF quit drinking for one year w/ sheer willpower so I guess it is hard for her to understand. My therapist told me today that judging by my circle of friends and the center of our activities being drinking and that I wasn't able to do my 30 Days AF that she is concerned that I'm at risk for having another "episode" (binger) I have to believe that is just not an option for me, If I go on another angry drunk rage, I could lose everything. I am going to keep doing my supps (just started the kudzu and amino acids) and try to be committed to the CD's and I also bought 7 weeks to sobriety for social drinkers (Drink/Link) and The Miracle Method.
Sorry this is so long, just wanted to share my latest going-on's.
Gita

[Bella]

Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

You have a good plan Gitawine and sound positive. Keep going and forget about friends' comments. I've had them too-recently. Very hurtful but I have decided its down to jealousy. Enjoy the cds. Love, Bella xxx

[hart]

Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

(((Gita)))

Some people don't react well when someone they have as a co-drinker, overeater, over spender, etc., you get the idea, drops out of the "club". I know that you are moderating, but I guess it's still threatening to your friend.

Not that she can't and won't adjust to this, but for some people it takes a while.

I am lucky, my husband is AF with me, so I have a partner, right with me. In my case, I was telling my closest friends of my desire to quit, or cut down drastically for at least a month, before I did. And they were very happy.

But I haven't told everyone, and I don't have a group of friends I used to drink with a lot, the times I do, lately, I simply tell them I am on a medication that doesn't mix w/alcohol...I am, Campral

I commend you for doing so good, especially under these challenging situations.:goodjob: You are far from alone, hon. We are with you.:hug:

[louise]

Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

Hang in there Gita. They will get used to the new you. Maybe for a while you can plan activities that don't involve drinking when you socialize? Things that involve your daughter like the zoo? You definitely know your boyfriend wants you to drink less - maybe you can remind her that you need her support because you want to keep your relationship.

[gitawine]

Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

Thanks guys...I guess in some way I was hoping one on my friends (all heavier drinkers than I) would get inspired and want to do it with me. I know they want to be supportive, but like you said I'm dropping out of the "club" so to speak.
Louise-my counselor also said to try and plan activities w/ my friends that don't involve drinking, I couldn't think of anything...sad huh? Emotionally were extremely close, almost like family, and they are great friends, but drinking is just "what we do" and have done for the longest time. It's going to be a long weekend I think....I'll be checking in often.
Gita

[louise]

Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

How about a walk and breakfast? A bike ride? Do everything before noon and have plans starting at noon so you don't get tempted to have a drink at lunch???? Go to the museum or an art gallery where you cant drink? Maybe you can start a thread - things to do with friends besides drinking.

[DidItForMe]

Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

Gitawine:
Sometimes isolation, although difficult, can be just what we need. I totally relate to how you feel about dropping out of the club. It seems like drinking was what my friends were all about. We found we could incorporate it into EVERYTHING! AT almost any time of the day and it still seemed reasonable. Champagne with breakfast, wine or beer with lunch. It never ended. I needed to pull myself out of it for awhile in order to get my head around this whole not drinking mindset. Some people will understand and some people won't. You can only deal with you right now and do what's best for you.
Wishing you good luck!

[Gargykath]

Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

Hi Gita

Yes I understand about that as well about the club thing and friends not wanting to drop out of that. I spent an hour last Sat talking about it with a friend and co worker who drinks every night.

It is hard to think about anything that doesnt involve drinking sometimes - the cinema, theatre and comedy shows always involve for me some form of debrief afterwards over a pint.

Ive just joined a gym and am going to take my mates as guests to do something healthy.

Does anyone have a hard drinking thing with work ? I have that a wee bit with work is hard not to be going out with the crowd and missing out on the gossip. Luckily we are not allowed and it isnt accepted to drink at lunch unlike my old place.

[nancy]

Doing Well but Feeling a Little Isolated

Hi gitawine

as you know I can relate to a lot of your posts.

I think the reality is that there is isolation in life. We are taught to think certain things give us fulfilment and we should be happy but the reality is often so different. so when it is different, we try to change it with substances.

It's good in a way that you are experiencing this because that is what life is like, that is what it feels like, for real.

Your friend may have quit based on willpower alone for a year, but i notice this is past tense!

I think extreme visions sometimes fail over time.

keep coming back. Advantages of this group include anonymity and for the most part, not too much judgement (unless you go talking about alcoholism as a disease!)

When it comes to peer pressure, aim to be the (subtle) leader and not the follower...

And by the way, spent some time in England, there is a HUGE cultural difference there, with respect to acceptance of binge drinking and views about alcohol and how to let the hair down.

To gargykath: just wait, the Brits tend to adopt things after we do in the US. And the binge drinking is not acceptable here in a lot of places, nor are corporate events where people are made to feel ashamed if they don't drink alcohol or don't get pissed.

In terms of activities that don't involve drinking...

Events where you can drink but also have a diversion are good... think music, comedy clubs...

movies, with one drink after.

I don't know how old you are, but in your 30s-40s it's more normal not to drink to excess.

I would like to see a 20 something thread for MWO, for the 'younguns