Drained......

[betty boop]

Hi all,

I really do love this place ......

Recently someone who I became close to posted a cryptic message and won't reply ...... I'm worried about them....

Last night someone else pm'd me and said that they had 'had enough' .....

I don't know if I can go on supporting people with the hurt that it causes me ....

BB xx

[SKendall]

Drained......

Betty, take a deep breath and just breathe for a couple of minutes.

None of us can fix the people who don't want to be fixed - we would die trying.

The person who said that "they had enough" is truly not your responsibility.

Neither of these people are your responsibility. You got involved because you have a big heart and you are very compassionate.

Our responsibility is to ourselves. We can reach out, but we can't fix, no matter how much the ego wants to fix it all.

What needs to happen right now is that your friends here on this site circle the wagons to support you. You are extending yourself too far.

Breathe my friend.

[Waves 2]

Drained......

:l :l :l :l

[Bella]

Drained......

Hi BB. SKendall has put it perfectly. You are not responsible for others. Just yourself.. We are all vulnerable here with our own special issues. We need and appreciate help and part of this recovery is feeling that we are helping people. It makes us feel good about ourselves. But Hey, we can't always do that. Sometimes we need to think and look after ourselves too. Sometimes we can't be there and that is life. I always feel that as long as I have done my best.....then that has to be good enough. I think you are a person with a huge heart and can perhaps 'carry' others for a while and they rely on you. But you need to look after yourself now otherwise you are no help to anyone.
Hang in there my friend. Bella xxx

[Guest]

Drained......

BB,
When I first came here I used to talk to this same lady EVERYDAY...we were both struggling miserably...she fell off the face of the earth. I have not talk to her for some time now. I cried and cried, even PM'd RJ trying to find her. Think of all the GOOD that you take from the site...I had to just think of myself and let it go. She lost out, I needed the site and although she did too, she obviously wasn't ready. You are trying to fix them honey, which is WONDERFUL, you are WONDERFUL....but you have to work on you and if along the way are able to help a friend...great, but if not...you are here for you!!!!!!

[Niblet]

Drained......

Sweetie, Hon, please...
When a person is as compassionate and as giving as you it sometimes happens that you give and give trying to help others in need....
Save some of that good stuff in there for the most important person. " You "
Thinkin' of you and would like to send you a smile, (did you catch it? Now smear it on that cute face of yours) ~Niblet~ with a hug.

[tawnyfrog]

Drained......

A message to all of us




... and the big thing to remember is .... NEVER play with anyone's emotions.

Just a little observation from an old-timer.

[Popeye]

Drained......

:l :l

[Nicole2003]

Drained......

Hugs Betty, xxx

[Happier]

Drained......

Betty,

Don't give up.:hug:

[Guest]

Drained......

Betty, You give what you can give, support, encouagement and you are so wonderful at that. But without sounding mean, you cannot be emotionally invested. You have a good and gentle heart, I totally understand wanting to help, but sometimes people simply don't want our help. We have to know when to let it be. Give yourself a break. you have been wonderful to me and know I truly appreciate it. This person will come back around in their own time.
Hugs Always
Mar

[zincityzen]

Drained......

BB,
Everyone on this forum, including me, comes with a VERY a long and unknown history. MWO forum is a wonderful resource partly because it is anonymous, but limited for the same reason and can attract emotional vampires, and I'm sorry, but "Goodbye, cruel world" posts and PMs fall into that category in my book. We can't expect ourselves to fix, help, bootstrap, breast feed or boost ANYONE back into mental, physical, emotional health who doesn't want to go there on their own. Yes, in giving we receive, kind words and wisdom shared here goes a LONG way in the road to recovery. I can see that a lot of people's lives are changing for good because of the support they get here. But THEY are ultimately responsible for making those changes. Remember BB, it is your own well-being you need to consider first.

[redrobin]

Drained......

Zincityzen,

Very well said. I couldn't agree with you more.

r

[lucky 2.0]

Drained......

I think the cryptic messages posted by this person were very manipulative. Do not get sucked in. Folks here run the gamut of mental health. Always remember some may not have their elevator going to the top floor.

[Breez]

Drained......

It's not your job. The best we can do is lend an ear & advise. The work is up to them.

I, unfortunately, had to let someone go. As much as I could try, they decided to leave this site & well - what else could I do. I felt bad but they stated that they weren't strong enough & couldn't do it. I could do no more. It's their decision & their lives. I didn't want to be an enabler-I had that in my own personal life & didn't help me. I needed tough love & had to do it on my own.

You did the best you could do. I always say the person is in the driver's seat. We're just here for the ride. When they start heading in the wrong direction we help them out. If they continue the wrong path, it's time for us to get off. You can only help so much.