Drained......

[adagirl]

Drained......

You sound like such a giver so I know this will seem selfish, but you gotta put yourself first. No matter how attached you get w/other people on the site, you can't let what they are going through bring you down. We all come here, but we are all at different places with ourselves and within this process. At a different time, each of us may have given up or left. And, some will decide today that they are not ready and will leave. And, others will join, and some will stay. If someone lashes out at you or makes you feel bad or guilty, it is all to do them, not you. Its nice to try to help, but everyone has to ultimately take personal responsibility for getting themselves better. Hugs to you. Hang in there.

[amethyst]

Drained......

Betty, you have such a good and unselfish heart. So many others have put it perfectly. We don't know others pasts, or they way they interact with people in the *real* world. This could simply be the pattern that they have been using for many years. If they walk, they walk. You have given, and extended frienship and support. You aren't responsible for what someone may do. Tawny -I agree with you wholeheartedly-we should never play with others emotions.

[chrysa]

Drained......

A counselor once told me: "At an AA meeting, how do you know who is lying?" Answer: "Whoever is moving their mouth."

It is actually good to remember that even here in MWO. Although in my opinion some here are far enough along in their recovery and can be trusted.

We all come here with some degree of the same genre of problems. As women a lot of us have co-dependent tendencies & all the little psychological twists that entails.

You cannot fix anyone. They have to do it themselves. I had to learn. You can only help a little. You can offer tools and love. They have to take them.

You cannot save anyone. You can only save yourself.

[hart]

Drained......

(((Betty)))

Betty, you know if you leave I will use ALL your Avatars and call myself Betty and.......not be 1/10th the grand gal you are. So you gotta stick w/us. If you do I'll send u a pic of my Boop mobile. It's a red convertible, BB dice in the mirrors, BB car mats, BB license plate holder, and I just ordered BB car shades.

And hey, I PM'd u and threatened u and u would miss that.......right?:H

[betty boop]

Drained......

Thanks so much everyone for your kind words, sorry Hart but you can't have my avatars...... I never intended to leave, just felt bad about things .....

Thanks again.

BB xx

[nancy]

Drained......

I must admit. That cryptic message appeared targeted to someone in particular and seemed manipulative, like someone trying to make you feel bad.

I think when we are young there is this temptation to rope other people in and make them feel responsible for us.

However, as you get older, you know you are responsible for yourself.

Interestingly, when I first joined someone sent me positive messages and said he expected no response. I tried to respond once, but he set his box to accepting no PMs.

Maybe that is something you should consider? a bit radical but if you are the sensitive caring type and it seems you are, mayb e this is an option.

[Happier]

Drained......

zincityzen- you couldn't have said it better. Actually all of you had nice things to say but the comment I liked best was "Remember BB, it is your own well-being you need to consider first.

[OverIt2007]

Drained......

I love this site toooo!!!! You have all helped in ways soooo much and I appreciate all of you.

I still wrestle with my drinking problems, and I am still drinking, but many times the thought of all of you have STOPPED me from pouring another drink! Its a huge burden relief to be able to share our problems with one another. But as everyone else has stated, we really are responsible for ourselves and our actions.

[louise]

Drained......

What is it they say when flying? "In case of an emergency the oxygen mask will drop. Secure your own mask before assisting others." I'm new and thought the post was actually about a friend dying and felt a bit ticked when I found out otherwise. You did no wrong BB. These responses have been very good for me. I have been worrying about Kitty and no public post for almost 2 days. So I send her good wishes but will do what I need to do today and stop compulsively checking that thread.

[MonaCat]

Drained......

Betty,
I am sorry to hear about this issue.
You are so caring and kind, I just adore you.
You have received some excellent advise on this thread.
The advise has helped me, because I tend to worry about this and that.
Right now, I am stressing out about Kitty.
Most of the people here are well meaning and good hearted, but there is alway going to be loony toons lurking around.
So we must be very careful.

[eustacia]

Drained......

Betty,

Others have said it so well that I have little to add. This place is a grab bag of souls, some authentically struggling, some not. Some people are passive and want/expect others to fix things for them; when that magic isn't cast over them, they may threaten. Sometimes the threats are direct, sometimes they are innuendos. In almost all cases, they are expressions of infantile rage directed outward to whomever has fallen into the person's orbit. That being said, I, too, get emotionally attached to people here, and I don't think that this place would be helpful to me unless I could get attached. People who are capable of caring back don't send cryptic messages or imply suicidality. I was fortunate enough to learn this is the professional realm of my life and so I am somewhat buffered by what goes on here. Still, when I sense that someone is doing poorly and I don't know how to reach out to them it hurts, as it does when someone who has become a friend disappears from MWO without explanation or a goodbye. I hope you know that you have touched many lives here, including mine, with your lovingkindness. I also hope that you will not let the aggressive (albeit, passive) comments of those who are still too angry and entitled to try to help themselves worry you. Such people. literally, make these comments all of the time. And little is meant by them.

:heart: E

[Ripley]

Drained......

Sweetheart, as someone whose soon-to-be ex-husband has just sent 7 fake suicide notes over the space of a week and one horrendous phone call which kicked off a police man hunt involving 2 police helicopters, dogs, squad cars, two police divisions in 3 counties over 7 hours whilst he was actually getting pissed in a bar.. let me tell you:

be responsible for yourself and your actions

be responsible for the children in your care

and it stops right there.

Other people are, ultimately, responsible for themselves.

You are a lovely lovely woman. Kate xx

[ScoobyDoo]

Drained......

BB... more cyber hugs coming your way.

Ripley, my god, you've been through a lot! Oh and also, I've been meaning to say, I love your avitar!

Scoobs

[chilli]

Drained......

Hi Betty
Just look after yourself, at least you can predict what you are going to do, people never stop amazing me, having a big heart is really bad , i know, the hurts are bigger too. dont give up on mwo we need you.

[Pisces]

Drained......

Please don't feel down Betty, we all have our issues, and your support is precious, but as said before, we are all responsible for ourselves, and none of us can save anyone else if they choose not to be saved.

Your wonderfulness, if that is a word, does not go unnoticed, and we love you.

Jas xx :goodjob: