All apologies

[morrison]

Hey friends. I just want to apologize for my ranting the last few times I was on here. I'd been drinking, and depressed. Bad combination. I was at a place for about 60 days where everything was great. But I had to ruin it, like I ruin everything in life. I found the perfect combination of meds. My Lamictal and Seroquel for my mood disorder, and Campral to help with the drinking. Also, Kudzu, supps, and a strict workout completed the process. It was high maintenence, but worth it. But, I have to ruin everything. I've done it so many times. I decide I'm not going to take my pills, or take less of them because I'm not liking the side effects (usual sexual.) I always know better than the doctors. But, when I look at how I get, I can't stand myself. I truly hate myself with a passion at times. I'll try to get back into that pattern that worked for me, but I'm just sick of failing. I apologize for being weird and cluttering the board with nonsense. I will truly try my best from now on.

[I Like Brandy]

All apologies

Morrison;

I missed what you are referring to , but everybody has a bad time. At least you're not giving up.

[ducky]

All apologies

Hey Morrison, haven't really got to know you yet as I am rather new. However, it is clear that you are beloved on this site!!! Glad you are back and back on track.

[tea]

All apologies

Hi Morr, please don't 'try' to be anything other than you - far too stressful. Glad you are ok. You never post 'rubbish' you post how you feel and I respect you for that.

L xx

[louise]

All apologies

As penance, will you go back and fix the best lyrics? Only if you want to of course. I like that thread.

[Arial]

All apologies

Hi Morrison,

Great to see you again - haven't seen any of your 'ranting' posts but love how you support others! It would be great to see you up and about and feeling good about life again - it's really encouraging to hear that you remember and miss what it was like when everything was in order. It's also fantastic that you finally found the combination of things that worked for you -gave you back control, gave you the life you deserve.

And you do deserve it - you deserve the health, the feelings of joy, the energy for life, the self confidence, the enjoyment of the little things - everything that is yours when that horrible demon drink doesn't get its claws in.

I've quoted it before so I'll only do a paraphrase now but basically not having succeeded for the last hour, day, month, year, 10 years etc. doesn't matter - what matters is what you choose to do now. You can't change the past but you can shape your future. I know it's hard to pick yourself up again, but I hope coming here you'll find the energy to do it - hopefully for the last time. So go ahead, continue ranting all you want - you're amongst friends here with ears to listen and journeys to share so together we move forward! Hang in there, Morrison, and good luck for this fresh start ! :l

[Guest]

All apologies

Morrison,
Take your meds! The sexual side effects do suck...not that I personally can relate as I have almost forgotten what that is anyway..LOL, but the good they do far out way the bad. The boards are here for whatever darn mood strikes you and so are we. I look at MWO as a place I can come be myself...whatever that is for that day...a place I can come be the person I REALLY am...a place the rest of the world may or may not see. So, say what you feel...

[Ripley]

All apologies

Hi there Morrison,

no one here judges, you know that. Tomorrow is another day. Glad you are here.

Living dangerously with you, Rip x

[ScoobyDoo]

All apologies

Morrison, maybe you're being a bit too hard on yourself. I completely understand your frustration.

Maybe you need to just go back to basics and start with a day of AF and set an ideal goal of say the 30 days. You've done it in the past... I remember your 60 days and you can do that again!

Scoobs

[Flip]

All apologies

Hey Morrison,

the whole point of being on here is to be with people who understand what you're going through and share thier experiences. thankfully, you just shared one with us. We won't EVER give up listening to you.

This is a tough road for most of us and hopefully you will learn from it. Try not to beat yourself up too much. It is clear that you really want to stop drinking, is there anything else you can do to help yourself achieve that goal? Have you got ALL the tools you need?

Giving up the meds is probably not a good idea. (I'm on lithium, anti-depressants, etc etc too) and I know what you mean about the meds side effects ...it must be particularly hard for a man - half your brain cells are down there!!

Do one nice thing for yourself today and tomorrow try doing two nice things etc etc. Before you know it you'll be back in the happy place!

Flip

[SKendall]

All apologies

Morrison, don't be hard on yourself. It never occurred to me it was a drinking rant.

Tomorrow is a new day. We fall down 10 times and we get up 11 times.

[rottrod]

All apologies

Morrison, It sounds like you are one stubborn guy. But at least you are too stubborn to give up on yourself. Like Scoob says just get back to basics and start again. You can do it. And, please stick around. . . you need us and we need you.

As a side bar, Luv I respect you more than anybody I "almost" know for putting yourself aside to help someone else during this awful time in your life.

Melissa

[Guest]

All apologies

rottrod...you are too sweet...these boards saved my life when times were even worse than they are now. just giving back what was given to me. I will forever be grateful to everyone here...forever. anytime i hit a bad day, moment, etc..i hit MWO...i literally drown myself here instead of the bottle.

[Happier]

All apologies

Morrison,

You're ok in my book. We are all a bit different in our own way.

Plus, I love the nickname you gave me. Happs! Gabby is using it on me now.

Thanks!

[gabby]

All apologies

Morrison, ya didnt bother me at all. not even sexually.