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    If the shoe fits...

    I attended my Uncle Ralph's funeral today. It was a beautiful service, something I've been dreading all week, it was great to see everyone,.. but so hard to say goodbye...
    Had a wonderful time afterwords at my cousin's place with family, .. a lot I haven't seen in at least 30 years!
    Well, I was having a great time visiting. I did drink some wine. 2 glasses to be exact...in a 5 hour time frame ( with water between)And a lot of "Wonder Bubbles" outside w/ the kids (I just happen to carry in my kayak)...
    To make a long story short... My Mom & Sister come up to me as they are about to leave and look VERY closely into my eyes, & ask if I NEED a ride home...This is all in front of everyone in the kitchen, my cousins, I'm joking & visiting with...enjoying ourselves... (as cousins do after not seeing each other for decades!) How degrading! I'm only 46 years old! I was probably one of the more sober people at the party!

    2 glasses of wine in 5 hours is not legally drunk! Do the math!... MOM!!

    Geez. It just makes me want to get friggn drunk now! Don't worry I won't. I have to work tomorro night, & I know it's not worth it & it's not MY problem... it just pisses me off.
    It's fine for my Dad to drink a 12 pk a day & she pretends it doesn't happen... But if I have one or God forbid 2! I guess I should be thankful she cares... but sometimes it's a bit much @ my age!

    Plus my sister loves her scotch... she's just never been arrested, or in rehab... There's been a few times I couldv'e driven her.

    Sorry for the rant... just feeling like I need to get this out.

    Feeling like a squeeky wheel here...:upset:

    :l
    Judie
    The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

    #2
    If the shoe fits...

    Geez Jude,

    Absolutely understand what you're talking about!!!!!

    AND - you're one of the reasons I keep hanging out around here. Thank you. Thank you for your gut-spilling honesty.

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      #3
      If the shoe fits...

      Oh boy... I'd be really upset too! Maybe you could think about having a heart to heart about it with her so she understands how it's making you feel.

      Scoobs
      :heart: Sobriety - Keep it simple :heart:

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        #4
        If the shoe fits...

        I feel for you, how patronising it is when a 'well meaning' family member like to point out your problem in an attempt to mask their own.

        I've come across this in my own family, I got done DUI a couple of years ago, and my family went wild ! telling me I need to get off the grog etc etc, when they had all either called me drunk, had spewed in public, left family members in a foreign country after a piss fuelled arguement, or basically had their own issues to address, in each case I thanked them for their 'support'.

        You are here like the rest of us, addressing our problem, while others with the same problem like to look down on us and feel better about themselves, good luck to them I say, and I hope to see them here, at which piont I will sincerely welcome them.

        I refuse to think I am better than anyone, but also refuse to believe I'm worse.

        Lot's of Love, Jasmin xx
        :thanks: :h

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          #5
          If the shoe fits...

          You too Tawny Frog!:h

          Hey Ya wann try that web thing?
          The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

          Comment


            #6
            If the shoe fits...

            Thanks Jasmin & Scooby. Yep Families can be soo well meaning but oh soo clueless all at the same time! It's like they see all of our faults but they can do no wrong just because they've been (so far lucky)...

            I know it's not all that different in a lot of cases. Sometimes it's just the wrong place @ the wrong time.

            I also know the difference of when I'm completely out of control... Believe me I woudn't have even been at that funeral today ...had that been the case! They have no idea!
            The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

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              #7
              If the shoe fits...

              So agree with the family thing, find they automatically think 'oh what has Lorna done now' whenever anyone has a fall out, instantly assuming it was my fault as I MUST have been pissed - not the case!! And it really pees me off when they tell me off - I am 43yo and surprise surprise have my own opinions - families - grrrr.

              L xx
              Rather die standing, than live on my knees, begging Please..... No More.......

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                #8
                If the shoe fits...

                Families are very annoying like that. They seem to think they have the right to say exactly what they want, regardless of feelings! I told my mum that i might have the odd glass of wine during my pregnancy and she said, " better not, you might then drink another and another and another". She has no trust in me at all.
                St Jude, at least you know YOU had NOT had too much. Thats all that matters. Bella xxx

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                  #9
                  If the shoe fits...

                  ST. I hate that crap too...I have a cousin that literally does not function...I mean doesn't leave his room because he drinks form sun up to sun down and they compare me to him ALL the freakin time...it pisses me off so bad I could scream. I may have gotten that bad had I not turned myself around, but I was NO WHERE near it. It really offends you. AND since i have been doing well my Aunt can't hardly stand it...he is her son...keeps asking my Mom if she thinks I will fall off the wagon...like my Mom needs to worry about that anyway...she is dying of cancer. Family can be so great!

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                    #10
                    If the shoe fits...

                    Jude....that would make me so mad. I would defintally not be able to let it go knowin me.
                    Gabby :flower:

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                      #11
                      If the shoe fits...

                      Awe.... Judie! I hear you loud and clear. My family drinks like there is no tomorrow, but if I have a couple I should be shameful. If the shoe fits.................!

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                        #12
                        If the shoe fits...

                        to you Judie.........
                        I know exactly what you're saying.. Tell "mom" so you can get it out while she is still here...she may not understand how it makes you feel. It doesn't "go away" after they're gone....sorry....
                        Wheeeew! Moms and daughters.....that's a touchy relarionship!
                        I love you.
                        Nancy





                        "Be still and know that I am God"

                        Psalm 46:10

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                          #13
                          If the shoe fits...

                          I can so relate Jude. Would have made me furious.
                          I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship me

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                            #14
                            If the shoe fits...

                            Funny thing...Well not really, but at this same house about 2 years ago, at my cousins wedding, my Mom came up & sniffed my punch! It was at a time when I was "on the wagon"... I'd just gotten out of re-hab, about a month before that, and hadn't drank in about 45 days.
                            Believe me, the first thing I did when I left there, was buy a 12 pack and go drink it! God I was mad!:bat :argh:
                            The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

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                              #15
                              If the shoe fits...

                              Oh Judie I probably would have popped a blood vessel or something I would have been so mad. I would have retaliated knowing myself. Family can be so mean sometimes. I am sure you handled everything much better than I would have
                              "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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