If the shoe fits...

[SKendall]

If the shoe fits...

Judie, that was just wrong.

[Happier]

If the shoe fits...

I'm not sure how close you are to to your mom or sister but it sounds like they were trying to humiliate you on purpose just to pull your strings. They wanted to get a reaction out of you and it's a good thing you stayed nice and calm in front of them. They were probably disappointed that they didn't get a rise out of you.
It' a good thing you can rant to us!!

[Popeye]

If the shoe fits...

Jude,
I can understand your annoyance.
These things are sent to try us.

Stay strong.

[InnerStrength]

If the shoe fits...

I would be angry too - this is something my mother would do as well. I have caught my mother looking for alcohol in my purse!
But you have to remember, these are THEIR issues and not yours. We have the power and the choice whether to make them OUR issues (sometimes easier said than done, I know). We can accept that these people will not change (at least not without help) and choose not to let them ruin everything that we are working for, even though it infuriates us. At least, thats what I try to tell myself in times like this.

[sammys]

If the shoe fits...

I know how you feel. Its just is always the person or people who have their own issues who have to comment on yours. I truly think alot of us would drink less if these well meaning individuals butted out.

Just my thoughts
Sammys

[Saint Jude]

If the shoe fits...

Thanks you guys. I think for some people CONTROL or POWER is like an addiction in itself... Maybe me being the "baby" of the family, they feel like they need to still control me or something... even though I'll be 47 in August Who knows.

Maybe because neither of them can control their Hubby's.. not that I think they should... but it sure seems that they'd like to...
Beats the H--- outa me! I guess I just need to chuckle & be glad I don't feel the need to humiliate other people, or meddle. I do think they meant well... maybe. But they could've pulled me aside, and spoke to me instead of getting right up in face one after the other and peering closely into my eyes like a friggin eye DR!:shocked:

[southernbelle47]

If the shoe fits...

Next time just say...
Look very closely into my eyes and tell me what you see ....cause it will be the last thing you will see if you EVER "call me out" again in front of anyone again!

The walk away and say "have a nice day"!

There .....I feel much better Judie!
I hope you know how much you are loved here and accepted for exactly who you are. ..
:l Nancy

[chrysa]

If the shoe fits...

Judie,
As usual you have risen above this one again with your typical wisdom and grace. I am so glad to have met you & been able to learn from you.
Love, ~C

[MKR]

If the shoe fits...

Judie dear, just now catching this thread.

I am so proud of you that you took the high road! GOOD for you!! I am sorry it happened though. Who really knows why family does what it does?

Huge HUGS for being a so stand up! Love you, Mary

[wwbarb]

If the shoe fits...

Judie, I too have a sainted sister. Hang in there!!

Good for you for not giving in and getting a 12 pack!!

[MonaCat]

If the shoe fits...

I too am a middle aged adult whose family stills sees me as a baby!
I am not as nice as you though, I tell them to F-off.
It took me a while to get to that point, but once I started sticking up for myself, they backed down.

[Saint Jude]

If the shoe fits...

It just pisses me off that I'm the one still brooding over it today...
I feel like, once again my "perfect" sister the professional realtor, "Miss got it all together", thin, always perfectly dressed, always says the "right' things... politicly correct... & a bag of chips... has done it again...

Why can't we ever have a nice visit w/out someone having to feel inferior or superior? It's like this childish competition. I should be SOOO over it!:damn: I just have this lingering resentment...

My Brother hardly drinks @ all & he doesn't pull that crap on me. It just feels so disrespecful. I find it hard to believe that they don't "get" that.

[paraniod]

If the shoe fits...

When I first read your post the first thing I thought is "this is a control thing". I don't have a sister that is perfect, but I do have a brother that has never done any wrong. I remember when I was younger I got really drunk one night and came home and freaked out on the entire family. I wound up with a black eye and bloody nose. My family didn't speak to me for weeks. When my brother came home drunk he started yelling at me in front of the whole family and calling me a freak and psycho and drunken whore (i was sober) and my dad told him to "settle down". Huh??? my mom still can't answer to that one. I get the shit beat out of me for yelling at my boyfriend and brother and he get's told to calm down for calling me horrible names in front of my entire family.


AHHHH!!! family dynamics!!!

[MKR]

If the shoe fits...

Just went through that with my baby brother and older sister.

She can not resist that soap box and she really did it this time with my dad in the hospital. I tried to be the voice of reason with both. Frustrated the H out of me. She is 54, when will she learn to keep her mouth shut?

The one thing I figured out from all of this over the years is she actually has low self esteem, and a high level of jealousy. From that place she looks at the world and must try to put herself on "top" in some fashion. Putting others down isnever a way to put yourself up. Someone should let her know this, eh?!! Maybe it is the same for your perfect sister?

Judie, dear, please take a few deep breaths and just know that you are doing so well, and you mean the world to us here. You have really put your life together and I don't think you should every dismiss your own accomplishments. From where I am standing you have a very positive, healthy, happy lifestyle!

Love you,
Mary

[paraniod]

If the shoe fits...

I also meant to mention your title. It rings a bell. Once when I was younger my mom was very tired after working a 40 hour shift and taking care of 4 children when my dad and his sister came home and started yelling at her for not having the house clean enough. My mom said to my dad's sister, "if you think that I should sit a listen to him calling me a slob and useless person when he is sitting down at the tavern getting drunk and not helping me than you are mistaken". My aunts reply was, "well if the shoe fits". She was picked up and dragged out of our house by her husband at that time. The next day she came by to appologize and sincerely thought that my mom should laugh it off because it was just the alcohol speaking.