Last night, I went to rehab. My husband has finally grown accustomed to what I say in the morning about what I did last night. Like, "So Jason? You should have SEEN the party at the mansion last night!" In the beginning, he'd say "Did you really go to a party after I fell asleep, or was this a dream?" Now, he just nods when I tell him about Ireland, or skydiving, or like last night, rehab.
I think I may have been with my (deceased) dad. I told him, "Dad, I have to go to rehab today." He was totally okay with that. It was Sunday morning (today). So I went and checked myself in. $180 a day, they said. I was like, 'that sounds reasonable', so I settled in. Suddenly I realized that I had to go to work on Monday, and asked them if they had a 'day camp' sort of option, and they said they did. I couldn't afford $180 a day for a week, or two, or four.
I was talking to someone (counselor? peer?) about my drinking habits. I said, "You know, I just need to stay here today. Just get my 'habit' to not be a 'habit'. I go through a whole day of work without giving it a thought. I am here today because I want a break for a day on the weekend."
The ending of the dream was that while I had a respite for awhile, needed to go back to work on Monday, wishing I could afford to stay to get all of my ducks in a row, but left for home and work on Monday.
When I dream, especially when the dreams don't make sense (and sometimes they're REALLY wild!) I always ask myself what I was *feeling*. Was I scared? Empowered? Having a great laugh? Feeling picked on or vulnerable?
I guess in this dream, I felt okay. Like, "I need to do this" and "I CAN do this" and like I have really been over-thinking things.
The end.
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