'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

[sammynorm]

Hi all,

Looking for support/advice this week. I'm over 3 years sober, and on a 2 week business trip (longest business trip I've every been on).
Naturally there are going to 'opportuinties' to go out with co-workers, and there will be booze. I looked up some meetings before I left, but for some reason the website isn't searching correctly with the hotel's WiFi. I started a little with the BooHoo's 'poor me I can't drink, and I can't find a meeting either' then I remembered about this website.

Anyway, any stories/advice about going out with co-workers when they are all getting drunk would be helpful. I've been in some of these situations before, and I've basically avoided everybody, or gotten on fine with my soda-water-and-lime. This is a bit different, I'm travelling with somebody who likes to drink, and it would be rude if I didn't attend the functions.

Uggh, if the rest of the world would quit drinking too this would be so much easier......

[DogLvr]

'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

Sammy - I've been there quite often - I travel all the time for work. The following things worked for me: 1) started with a cranberry & soda - most people thought it was a vodka - so I avoided the peer pressure. 2) If people ask why I'm not drinking, I say I am training for a race. 3) You might be surprised if you offer up non-drinking related activities to do - last 2 trips - I got people who don't usually ever work out to go paddle boarding;and also rented bikes across the golden gate, cooking class, you name it - there's always an alternative. Good luck!

[Rand all]

'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

In my 20 with the circle of people I ran with I would have had a really hard time socializing and trying to explain myself. Now I'm in my late 30s I really couldn't give a flying f**k what people think. I remember always fantasizing about being able to say. " Nah I don't drink. Was to fond it. Decide to give it a miss these day"

Most people you meet would show you respect from experience when being honest.

[little beagle]

'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

It would be easier if the rest of the world would just let us be with our decision to not drink. If alcohol wasn't shoved at us from every angle. But there it is.

[Pie]

'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

Hi Sammy, I'm guessing that at a large function with a lot of people, your soda & lime will still serve you well. Some folks on here also advise to arrive late, and leave early. But in smaller settings, or one-on-one with your travel partner, you likely will be asked why you're not drinking.

Your question made me remember a time years ago, when business socializing was a big part of my world. I was with colleagues on a sailboat outing, and one of the guests wasn't drinking alcohol like the rest of us. ( We were a small group of maybe eight.) He simply said that during summer months he doesn't drink. He didn't explain why. But I found it to be the most curious thing, and remember it all these years later. So I think you're wise to have a reply ready for inquiring minds in close quarters. The suggestion above about being in training for a race sounds good, though it might not fly with people you see on a daily basis, assuming you're not a runner.

"I gave it up for lent, and it felt so good, I just kept going," is another one I've heard. "It exacerbates my hot flashes," is a winner if you're a menopausal female. Something tells me you'll come up with a response that fits you perfectly. I hope you will come back and share it with us.

Happy travels!
Pie

[Byrdlady]

'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

I'm in the business community, too. When I'm out with folks, I just say AL aggravates a couple things I have going on (and I hold my tummy, as if indicating an ulcer and I make a sour face). I don't have to mention that the actual aggravations are my liver and my marriage.....This response has worked well for me the past 3+ years, so I'm sticking with it! Good luck! B

[sammynorm]

'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

Thanks for the support. Survived my first happy hour (which went from 5:30 until 9pm) last night. Drank soda water and lime.
Nobody really asked why I wasn't drinking, however I was offered drinks, I just said so thanks. I did explain to my travel buddy before hand that I don't drink anymore and told her why.....2 DUIs.

Somebody at AA before I left had a story:
Said he was at a 'function' and somebody offered to buy him a shot. He said no thanks. Then they asked him 'why not'. He replied and heard the words 'I don't drink anymore' come out of his mouth. The other person gave him a pat on the shoulder and said 'good for you'. Then they talked about other stuff.

It is interesting to watch alcohol's role in the socializing. How much certain people drink, how their personalities change.....etc.....

[sammynorm]

'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

So, my travel buddy went home this Friday. Now I'm on my own.
Was invited to happy hour Friday and said no thanks. One of the guys who invited me basically said 'what's wrong with you' when I said I don't drink.
Fortunately I've been sober long enough, and worked on building up my self confidence for long enough to know if somebody says something like that to me there's 'something wrong' with them.

[Pie]

'Social Drinking Outings' in soberity

sammynorm;n2516329 wrote: So, my travel buddy went home this Friday. Now I'm on my own.
Was invited to happy hour Friday and said no thanks. One of the guys who invited me basically said 'what's wrong with you' when I said I don't drink.
Fortunately I've been sober long enough, and worked on building up my self confidence for long enough to know if somebody says something like that to me there's 'something wrong' with them.

Or maybe just a "normal" drinker who has no idea what alcohol does to us? In any case, so happy to hear you're navigating the travel challenges.

[johncaroll]

That drinker is not a hardcore drinker like they don't even know what AL can affect into our life, well good job for fighting your temptation Sammy keep it up! !

[sammynorm]

Made it back from my trip. Didn't drink. Was actually a bit easier the 2nd week since by then people had figured out I'm not a drinker. Guess the subtleties/sizing up of who the drinkers are (which I used to worry about a lot) get settled pretty quickly in a group. And if you aren't drinking the 'egging-on' ends quickly (nobody egging me into that 4th drink). This was a good test my staying sober confidence is certainly better.

Thanks for the help everybody.

[Queen de Vin]

This is the first time I have ever posted!

I have read many threads but have never had the courage to post. I am totally amazed at how many people must be out there, suffering with AL, as I do. There is a lot of comfort and strength gained by reading the coping strategies and attitudes of persons who have issues like I do. Thank you all very much!

[Daisy38]

Queen,
Hi and welcome I'm so pleased you picked up the courage to post I really encourage you to pop into the newbies nest and say hi to everyone you'll get more replies/support not many peeps will pop into this thread to meet and greet new comers