Just Have to Get it OUT

[gzj03]

I posted last year and got a way from it. Reading your posts gives me some where to belong. I started the week not drinking and feeling like myself again-strong and in charge. I vowed to stop drinking for a week after over doing it at a family dinner and being mortified in front of my neices and nephews. My conviction to not drink made me happy and secure. Went to dinner with a nice guy, a recovering alcoholic who is a good friend and had 2 drinks. Felt good and normal. Went out the next night after work and had 3. Feel so hung over; called in to change my day off and my manager told me what a mistake that was and to never do it again. I felt scolded and I'm 48. My 27 year old guy friend that I've been helping get over his last girlfriend said he needed time for himself and didn't want to answer my calls . This is after sending him books to read on breaking up and treating him to a nice dinner. Then I got 2 calls from collection agencies for dr. bills I never received. I feel fragile, afraid, shaky, panicky and unloved. All for what? Any words of advice?

[Popeye]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Hello gzj03,
Sometimes life can knock you sideways.
It seems to be that your confidence has taken a bit of a bashing recently.
All I can suggest is that you take some time to let the bad feelings subside. Stay with us a while. I'm sure there will more articulate people along shortly with some helpful advice.
Take care.

[nancy]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Hi there,

I am a little puzzled about why you are so hungover after only 3 drinks, I must admit.

I hope you can take this one little piece at a time. I suggest starting with the doctor bills
that seem to be a mistake. Clear those out of the way.

Why was your manager so mad? have you done this type of thing before?

if not, manager styles vary and yours seems to be a bit of a parental type. I hate that. Treat me like an adult, I say, even when I act like a child!

anyway, seems like despite these current problems you are still most upset about being mortified at the family event. So you are carrying over mortification to the present. But the recent events actually don't seem too bad. you might feel like your friend, despite your efforts, has rejected you.

you are so vulnerable from the previous experience that you may be viewing the current experiences a bit unrealistically and over-reacting

is there anything you can do to mend fences about the family event? that to me seems to be the real problem.

sometimes, even when things seem really bad and you feel guilty, there are people who understand and won't judge you and want to help you . but you don't know until you open up a bit to at least a few of them.

PS do you fancy this guy friend?

[ScoobyDoo]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Welcome back GZJ

That fragile feeling is horrible. I think when you've been AF for a while and you have a few, it makes you feel much worse than if you'd kept drinking.

Have you downloaded the MWO book from the bookstore here?

I hope to see you around.

Scoobs

[Breez]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Adding alcohol to an equation will make things worse. You may numb the situation but when you sober up the problem is still there. You're at a vulnerable time & that's ok. Use it to your advantage. If you can handle situations without heading for that drink-YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. Take one problem at a time. You will get thru each one-tell yourself that. Tell yourself it's not that bad. After a day or two-they usually aren't. They will go away-some slower than others. Just remember that alcohol fuels more problems & doesn't allow us to think clearly regarding them.

Welcome back & I wish you luck.

[I Like Brandy]

Just Have to Get it OUT

:l gz103;

Don't beat yourself up. You are still fighting like the rest of us. Don't give up/

As far as only a few drinks and it resulting in a hangover,I go through that because the beer I drink now is CHEAP!

Hang in there...


Brandy

[Sue Can Do]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Hi,

Why is it when you down everything seems so hard and seems to happen all at once, i agree with Nancy, get those bills sorted and see it through to the end. Clear one thing up at a time, it wont seem so hard then.

Chin Up,

Sue xxoo

[rottrod]

Just Have to Get it OUT

gz,
As usual Nancy is a very clear methodical thinker. Deal with the bills, get them off the table.
Your friend was probably having a bad day, give him the space, he'll come around.
If you feel the need to approach your boss do so, if not just be the best employee you can be for awhile but stand proud and don't cower, some bosses love that.

Do you need to talk to your nieces and nephews? Are they old enough? Would your brother/sister want you to do this?

Spend some time doing something you know you can do well to get your confidence back.

Welcome back we are here for you.

Melissa

[Guest]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Nancy is right just one thing at a time. get through this day. Take care of the bills. make note to self never to change days off again abruptly. the issue with neices and nephews, let it lie to see what happens. The friend, is it possible he might think you may have a romantic interest in him? He may just be trying to guard his heart after his breakup. Don't go get drunk, the same issues will be there when you sober up. Just plug along and keep trying.
Smiles Always
Mar

[toughintexas]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Its so true, we use all these "things" or "happenings" as an excuse to drink, they trigger a "oh what the hell, its so bad anyway!" type of response, but its just an "excuse" is all. I agree, tackle one task, and one day at a time. I know how when it "rains it pours" and it always seems to happen when you are trying to make a change for the better....I think the "enemy" doesn't want to let go of us! Don't beat yourself up, it won't help.....just get back up and get back on the horse... your friend is having a hard time too, let him digest all you gave him to read/think about, give him some space....let others do their "stuff" right now, and you put YOU first, you can't worry about everyone around you right now, just try to stay the course, and the one that will cause you less troubles....work, etc! Stay here on the site, and everyone here will be able to give you support!!!

[wwbarb]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Gz, I know that sometimes, on an empty stomach, three drinks can make me feel lousy the next day.

I hate it when life collapses on you like that - it makes makes everything seem so much worse than it may be. Time will take care of itself with the nieces and nephews - they don't see the situation as horrifically as you do.

What do you do for a living? In your manager's defense, I used to hate it when my folks would call at the last minute and I would have to figure out how to get things covered for the day - that's why I'm not a manager anymore .

It'll get better - here's to a few sober days!!

[betty boop]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Hi, so sorry that things are all happening at once .... Deep breaths .....

I agree with Nancy, pay the bills .... your friend will come round i'm sure ...

Hang on in there love ....

BB xx

[gzj03]

Just Have to Get it OUT

Thank you so much, all of you who responded. I'm amazed and strengthened by your support. You are right, one thing at a time. And yes, when you make the conviction to stop and then you blow it, it feels worse than continuing to drink. I think I'm at the point that I almost have an allergic reaction to alcohol after just 3 glasses of wine. I will keep plugging along and I'm so grateful to have all of you kind people to "come home to".