oh Kradle...honey......talk to us
sounds like a plan Niner...
sounds like a plan Niner...
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I love my family more than alcohol.:h
Live in the Solution....not the problem -
Note to self: TTFP! TTFP! TTFP! TTFP! TTFP!:heart:I love my daughter more than alcohol:heart:
Believe in yourself. You are stronger than you think.Comment
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well said Dots. Hope you got your car stuff sorted.
Niner, you made it two years, so three days is nothing, right?
I am home alone eating leftovers. Everyone is out and I get night of silence. Bliss!! Off to eat leftovers and watch SOA. My sinus infection is kicking my butt, but all will be well tomorrow.
Love ya'llI love my family more than alcohol.:h
Live in the Solution....not the problemComment
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Warning - long post ahead:
K9 – I wish I could say something to help other than to say I really, really understand what you're going through.
I know it hurts like hell!!!
So: two things, and then I’ll shut up!
The first is the empty nest thing and I know there's a lot more to that than just your daughter moving out. If you're like the rest of us, it's also about the fact that your whole identity is about being a mother, and when your child leaves (as they will if you’ve been a good parent) they take everything you are with them. They don't warn us about that in the baby books! My whole purpose in life for about 20 years was mothering. My career was always just a means to an end to support my boys, and I would have given up my job in a heartbeat if my boys needed me. When they grew up and moved out I was totally lost and didn’t know who or what I was. If I’m not a mother any more, what the hell am I? I’m still trying to build a new life around what I have left. I guess just don't underestimate all the other things you may be feeling right now.
Second - I also know your circumstances are a bit different, and you’ve been rushed into confronting this a bit earlier that you would have otherwise, but please don’t blame yourself. Everyone who knows you knows how close you and Sierra are and what you’ve gone through to prove it. This isn’t about anything you’ve done wrong – she’s just at that age where she wants to spread her wings and thank God she’s doing it in a safe environment. If it wasn’t this it could be all sorts of other rebellious and dangerous behaviour. Although I still think she may be back sooner than you expect when the holiday wears off!!
And the third (OK I know that’s cheating). She hasn’t gone far. She’s still your daughter and she loves you and wants to see you. It may feel like you’ve lost a limb, but remind yourself that it could be much, much worse. As long as your child is alive, loves you and wants to be in touch, everything else is just geography.
:heartbeat:Last edited by Glass Half Empty; November 7, 2014, 08:01 PM.There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues
I didn't come this far to only come this far.Comment
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Mama B - you are a prime example of why I am grateful for moms loving their kids -in this world -day and time.Originally posted by mama bear View PostComment
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[QUOTE=Glass Half Empty;1575311]Warning - long post ahead:
K9 – I wish I could say something to help other than to say I really, really understand what you're going through.
I know it hurts like hell!!
QUOTE]
hey glass -I enjoy reading your posts. As crazy as it may sound, I as the so called 'male' in the family ended up experiencing the worst part of the empty nest 'syndrome' -lol -but true. Yea, I only thought that that it would be a great new start to things once our three young men had moved out. As it turns out, I miss their fighting, yelling at each other and me, wrestling, and backyard football, and knee football in the living room. I miss stepping on the Legos and I miss asking them about homework. Ok, it has been two years now and I slowly starting to get use to the idea that they have their own lives now.Comment
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[QUOTE=spiritwolf333;1575320]Thanks so much for your comment, Spiritwolf - I really appreciate your input. I didn't mean to diminish the effect that empty nesting may have on the father. I imagine that may well be equally painful. I was a single mother so I was only talking about my experience, but yes, it could well be terrible for the father as well, because for many their identity is also tied up with parenthood. And also, I'm generalising terribly here, but I imagine that in some cases it may be even worse, because often the mother has the opportunity to stay at home to be with the child while the father is out "breadwinning". And then I imagine the child leaves, and the father must regret the time they spent working instead of spending time with the child. Of course, as I said I'm generalising here and the same could be applied to any number of configurations of parenting!Originally posted by Glass Half Empty View PostLast edited by Glass Half Empty; November 8, 2014, 04:35 AM.There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues
I didn't come this far to only come this far.Comment
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Even though my son is still living at home.......we rarely are able to connect. It hurts.
Our schedules are just different so when we are able to be together, it is wonderful!
"Only I can change my life. No one can do it for me.".....Carol Burnett
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AF - 7-27-15Comment
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Nora that must be painful too. I wish we could just choose an age when our children were at the closest to us and FREEZE.....Originally posted by NoraC View PostEven though my son is still living at home.......we rarely are able to connect. It hurts. Our schedules are just different so when we are able to be together, it is wonderful!There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues
I didn't come this far to only come this far.Comment
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I made it through! I didnt drink! Thank you Dear Dots :heartbeat: I looked a bit like crazy mom today but I don't care ...and Matts therapist had a cancellation so I GOT TO TALK TO MY BABY!! He is sounding incredibly well, very searching and honest about his journey.Originally posted by Dottie Belle View Post
I am really proud of him. I don't know many grown ups who could do this- present company excluded of course...:goodjob:
K9 no question this is the hardest experience in our lives... I missed the memo too...like glass says, none of this was in the Baby Books
Thank you everyone for the support and Nora, I use my iPod for BOT...I listen every night as well. I'd transfer the books so you always have a back up.
Hugs and heart. Safe Friday everyone :heartbeat:On My Own Way Out Since May 20, 2012
*If you think poorly of yourself, you can fail with a clear conscience.
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f11/tool-box-27556.html tool box
https://www.mywayout.org/community/f19/newbies-nest-30074.html newbie nestComment
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I'm very glad you got to talk to your boy, Kradle. :heartbeat:There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues
I didn't come this far to only come this far.Comment
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Kradle well done for not drinking and also so happy that you got to talk to Matt!
K9 - did you TTDP ? I wish I could but I have come to the conclusion that I can't - so have got to find another way ..... consider yourself lucky that you CAN take it - I envy you !! I am going to have to have a think today and try and decide what to do ......
Nora - hope that you get your Kindle sorted soon - do you not have an iPod or something else that you could use in the interim? I know how you must feel as I read all the time on my iPad now ....
MB - laughed about the being naked in front of someone else and I so agree - I just cannot imagine !!!
Hi to everyone else - got to get ready for meeting at work this morning,
Hugs, Sun XXXHow simple it is to see that we can only be happy now and there will never be a time when it is not now....Comment
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Good morning. Feeling a little melancholy today, wishing I was back on the cruise. Very busy week for me playing catch up, well I'm caught up. Think I'll start ordering some Christmas gifts on line today, if I can find my laptop! Hubby has his office all over the house. Trying to be patient with him, and honestly we are settling in little by little. It was so nice not to have to deal with any of this last week.
CJ slept over her boyfriends last night again. This is becoming a habit and I don't like it. I'm just tired of arguing with her. I have no idea where this is going and it scares me.
Hope you all enjoy your Saturday. Anyone know what's going on with Nursie? Been thinking about her lots lately.Comment
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