Expectations, Resentments, Holidays
Hi,
Sorry to start mentioning Holidays so early. Although, I guess we just had one with Halloween. I’ve been rather angry with my family the last few weeks. Has mostly to do with my Mom’s drama with holidays and extended family drama around holidays (and other stuff actually).
Like, it is crazy to expect that an event like Thanksgiving could be planned and agreed up on by all parties involved and not turn into a showdown between female members in the family over whose house the event will be at. (Sorry to confuse with the SammyNorm name, but I’m a female member of this family as well). It’s like I’m supposed to take sides and force the event to be at my Mom’s house even though most people agree it will be at my cousin’s house. And who cares at this point anyway, it’s 4 weeks away. Uggh……
So I was getting all angry about it, losing sleep, and then remembered the relationship between expectations and resentments. (Really that an expectation = a resentment…depending on who one talks to). So, in my family yes, it is crazy to expect an event like Thanksgiving could be planned without drama, and a pissing match over whose house it’s going to be at.
Naturally the fact that everybody in the family drinks alcohol (some like fish), and I’m the only in recovery doesn’t help anything, least of all my sanity.
Anyway, thought I’d just share this as the expectation = resentments was a good reminder for me. When you are feeling resentful, check in with your expectations.
Sorry to start mentioning Holidays so early. Although, I guess we just had one with Halloween. I’ve been rather angry with my family the last few weeks. Has mostly to do with my Mom’s drama with holidays and extended family drama around holidays (and other stuff actually).
Like, it is crazy to expect that an event like Thanksgiving could be planned and agreed up on by all parties involved and not turn into a showdown between female members in the family over whose house the event will be at. (Sorry to confuse with the SammyNorm name, but I’m a female member of this family as well). It’s like I’m supposed to take sides and force the event to be at my Mom’s house even though most people agree it will be at my cousin’s house. And who cares at this point anyway, it’s 4 weeks away. Uggh……
So I was getting all angry about it, losing sleep, and then remembered the relationship between expectations and resentments. (Really that an expectation = a resentment…depending on who one talks to). So, in my family yes, it is crazy to expect an event like Thanksgiving could be planned without drama, and a pissing match over whose house it’s going to be at.
Naturally the fact that everybody in the family drinks alcohol (some like fish), and I’m the only in recovery doesn’t help anything, least of all my sanity.
Anyway, thought I’d just share this as the expectation = resentments was a good reminder for me. When you are feeling resentful, check in with your expectations.
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