I really feel I will drink tonight....

[doveagain]

I almost drank this afternoon...DH got really mad at me when I told him...came home instead....I hate this, I really do. Thank you all for the support.

[Marylou123]

Hi Dove,

I say way to go girl! "Almost" is way, way better than drank! And you didn't so you did good! I totally get the hate thing. But please hang in there. I'm pretty sure all of us hated it at first. I know I did. I'd romanticize everything I was missing about drinking excep the hangovers, the arguments, looking and feeling like crap, not knowing how to fill all the extra time on my hands, DHs disappointment, my parents frustration and their need to tiptoe around the subject with me (so grateful I was 2 months sober when dad died - he was so proud and happy - that was 9 months ago!), lack of focus, lack of confidence, underperforming at work, and on and on.

I did try a few AA meetings, and I can appreciate the program, but it wasn't quite my cup of tea. Although I still have all the phone numbers of the wonderful folks at those meetings that offered support. THIS, MWO, is what is working for me. It's a safe place oozing with smart wonderful people willing to help everyone who WANTS to receive it. Keep posting, keep reading, and, most important, keep not drinking!

I don't post as much as I used to - your posts touch home though. Right now there is nothing I want more for you than for you to feel good about yourself. Because you should. Because you said no today. You did it today Dove. The al voice spoke/screamed at you and you beat it today. Keep up the good work. Reward yourself - take a bubble bath, watch a movie on demand, get a mani, eat some chocolate, put real cream in your coffee, you get my drift.