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    #31
    Reggie,

    I suspect that most people read various threads on MWO before they work up the courage to post somewhere. There are threads that support moderation and others that support abstinence. If a person chooses to post in the Newbies Nest, I think they likely are aware of the general consensus there.

    When a person seems ambivalent about whether they want to commit to being AF, either in the NN or in a personal thread, the suggestion generally is made to give it 30 days and see how they feel. All recovery and harm reduction programs that I'm familiar with, not just AA, suggest something like that as a good starting point. An alternative I've heard of (and have suggested on a couple occasions) is to have exactly one drink each day for 30 days and see how that works. If either of those is no problem, the person likely can be a moderate drinker if they so choose.

    You mentioned my pet topic, added sugar. AA actually encourages sugar consumption as a substitute for alcohol, which I think is a mistake. I think the population as a whole, and addicts in particular, would do well to reduce their added sugar intake as a means to improve their long-term health and for addicts, to dampen the addictive process. That by no means is the consensus view in the NN or on MWO.

    Most people who are struggling with anything need a consistent message, especially at the beginning. A great addition to MWO would be a strong, active thread led by successful moderators who could offer guidance to new people who want to follow that path. I don't read the moderation threads much but do not notice them pop up in the "new posts" list very often and so assume they are not very active.

    I don't think it is fair to equate a philosophy borne of personal experience and observation as fanaticism.
    Fanaticism is a belief or behavior involving uncritical zeal or with an obsessive enthusiasm for a pastime or hobby.
    Most people who post in the NN and some other abstinence-focused threads have tried and failed at moderation. The enthusiasm in the NN for an AF life and the support offered for achieving it look like a lifeline to a person who is so scared because they have been unable to quit drinking on their own. At least, that is how it appeared to me. I didn't see fanatics, I saw people who had what I wanted - lives that were not limited and controlled by an addiction.

    I hope I haven't misunderstood the point you are making. If you think alternative options should be available to newcomers, I hope you make a "home" that offers encouragement and support for people interested in pursuing those options.

    We do all need to find our own ways out and hopefully each end up at the point we want to be. All the best, NS

    Comment


      #32
      You are a horribly rude person Reggie, no wonder nobody posts on this thread hardly anymore! And quit deleting, if you're gonna say Shit then have the balls to keep it up
      I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

      I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
      Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

      Comment


        #33
        It's Paulette
        I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

        I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
        Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

        Comment


          #34
          Originally posted by Reggie
          Damm no sugar and byrdie please accept my apologies i was way outta line i respect both of your views so much
          Thank you, Reggie. Byrdlady's internet is down but I'm sure she bears no ill will to anyone, either. I hope you are getting some sleep now.

          Comment


            #35
            Morning all,

            My thoughts and observations are that this community welcomes people at any stage of their boozing career, and respects a persons decision to moderate or abstain, or an individual combo of both. The newbies nest is one thread that has grown towards an abstinence based approach. Not the whole site or majority of MWO, just one thread. I see that this thread has morphed in this way for good reason. Punter demand. Punter demand to stop drinking totally a.s.a.p. 24/7. Having been a regular poster in the nest these last couple of years, i see that everyone there acknowledges we all have our own way out of this mess, and we must what works best for us. Only a small percentage of Nesters go to AA, with most using their own combo of tools like meditation, exercise, SMART recovery, nutrition, CBT, nature, and the underpinning foundation for someone who wants to stop......ongoing 24/7 abstinence. This is a life or death decision for many of us.

            The choice of Moderation is respected in the nest, but yes, those folk are asked to move on to another thread, and for good reason. For most people who post in the nest, drinking today is a life or death decision and the fantasy of healthy moderate drinking levels or the inability to stop or slow down often pull us back in to the routine and we may lose our grip forever as another problem drinker slowly suicides. We all know we have lost people here to this affliction/problem/inconvenience, and for many it is an inconvenient truth.

            There are moderation threads onsite, and moderation tools including many meds threads for folks who want to control their drinking, or stop. The newbies nest is hardcore in it's attitude to booze, and makes no apologies for that. I think this is why it is such a popular and busy thread. We are just alky's supporting alky's in the only way we know how, and that is sharing what has worked, with the loud and clear acknowledgement that what works for one, may not work for another.

            I reckon there is a place on this site for a no frills abstinence based approach, and also a moderation based approach. Folks can pick and choose the threads that suit them best, or create one.

            I'll wrap it up by saying that Byrdlady and No sugar are not of the 'my way or the highway' school. I know them well. They're two of the most generous and respectful people you will ever meet. They sure are passionate about not drinking, and there is a place and demand for that here, which is the lifesaving Newbies nest.

            Have a bewdy out there. There's room for all.

            'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

            Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

            Comment


              #36
              G.....lets start by getting the world the right way round :upsidedown: just to comment on your well written post....excellent piece of work mate...and I fully support what you say about both byrdie and ns......neither of them are one offs,vote collectors,"look at me merchants".. they are in it to help others,and certainly have my utmost respect..."I dont drink"....now that is just a fact to me now...but at one stage that was actually a prayer of mine after being ill...For me this site is about being aware of the harm alcohol does to you,both physically and mentally,and negating those effects,whether that be minimising alcohol intake or removing it completely...both ways have their challenges,and also their strategies for fronting up the issues,and their inherent problems..both are dealt with in different ways,therefore I feel to keep the threads separate is a good thing...by all means occasional integration to see whats what..I have nothing but admiration for a person who can limit themselves and work a plan of how where why and when to drink,and come hell or high water will not deviate from it..like many of us here,that switch was left out of my brain!!once again mate impressive post :goodjob:
              af since the fourth of July 2012...howzat then America..now proudly marching into year 12

              Comment


                #37
                A few words from another long term Newbies Nest poster.....

                Reggie, you've been a MWO member for nearly 5 years & are still making an ass of yourself with your drunken posts.

                How is moderation working out for you?
                AF since 03/26/09
                NF since 05/19/09
                Success comes one day at a time :thumbs:

                Comment


                  #38
                  Originally posted by Lavande View Post
                  A few words from another long term Newbies Nest poster.....

                  Reggie, you've been a MWO member for nearly 5 years & are still making an ass of yourself with your drunken posts.

                  How is moderation working out for you?
                  And this reply helps the situation how?

                  Reg, love. For the record. Whilst you piss me off and shit me to tears I am not choosing not to post because of you. Or your deletions. MWO isn't the same for me anymore. Be well. x

                  Comment


                    #39
                    Reg ... a word please. In my office. Now.
                    Shut the door and sit down.

                    I expect, by now, you will have realised that your behaviour last night was totally unacceptable?

                    Be angry, be devastated by the events in Paris - many of us are. It's all about Freedom of Speech. You were free to express your thoughts and I concurred with much of what you had to say; however, personally naming, insulting and abusing people is NOT on. As with the Paris event, you made it personal; you specifically targeted individuals.

                    Unfortunately, the Abs-v-Mods debate will continue. Sadly, we're not sophisticated enough to celebrate and embrace the concept of Vive la difference.

                    I'm probably the only person who read your stuff who doesn't think you were pissed-posting. And for once your lack of (very annoying) deletions is worrying me. Are you OK?

                    And for the record ... you are NOT the reason why I don't post much anymore.
                    I explained myself in my opening post.

                    Tread gently. I've always known you to be a decent bloke. A bit fusked, but decent.

                    Comment


                      #40
                      Agreed Frog.

                      Reg, i am concerned too. Are you ok?

                      'I am part of all that I have met, yet all experience is an arch wherethro', gleams that untravelled world whose margins fade, forever and forever when I move'

                      Zen soul Warrior. Freedom today-

                      Comment


                        #41
                        Just popped in........

                        As ever Tawny, spot on!

                        Reg, big love my friend! That's all - just big love!

                        Salute to you Mr G.

                        I'll close the door behind me.......
                        It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                        Mother Theresa

                        Comment


                          #42
                          Originally posted by Reggie
                          "Reg has been ill"
                          Signed ..
                          Reggies mother"
                          Thank your mother for the rabbits.

                          I really went in to bat for you today, Reggie.

                          Ho hum.


                          Catch youse all some time down the track..
                          Last edited by tawnyfrog; January 9, 2015, 04:07 AM.

                          Comment


                            #43
                            Tawny, your niceness, patience and concern is, as ever, to be admired.

                            Be well lovely Reggie.

                            Shalom all.
                            It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                            Mother Theresa

                            Comment


                              #44
                              Would have been here sooner but tinterweb went down..............:heartbeat: to you Reggie and a bit of late night reading.

                              It could be worse, I could be filing.
                              AF since 7/7/2009

                              Comment


                                #45
                                Originally posted by Reggie
                                LOL Ha LMAO... Jacks ( throbbing heart to you) money down thanks bets on...

                                Lingfield

                                1.10 SGT RECKLESS (N.B)
                                :hahaha: yer daftie.

                                How much............each way or to win.
                                It could be worse, I could be filing.
                                AF since 7/7/2009

                                Comment

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