G man the comeback!

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

okay, stages of grief. Denial, anger, and whatever comes next. Guess where i am. Sheesh universe, god or whoever. You bring a woman into my life who u well know is after what i want e.g. kids and to settle down, and now you take her away. Maybe this should be on the fk thread. Sorry if i upset anyone. Not my intention, just expressing myself. I'm gonna put it there.

Edited: expletives!

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: G man the comeback!

i'm so sorry Gman.

Sometimes things just **** suck and it's ok to say so.

Please don't let this be a reason to self destruct. Punch a pillow or scream, or better yet, create some angry music and then cry a bit.

Do you have mates around you can vent to?

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

Thanks Glassy. Yep, i've spoken to a mate about it. It'll be ok. I'm not one to talk too much about this stuff with others, except for this forum which is somewhere i'm more comfortable airing my thoughts relatively anonymously. Got ur number if i need it. Thanks again my friend. just venting and yes it's good to vent and to write it out.

I want you to know that above all, i'll be fine. Have been down this torturous road before. I sometimes wonder if it's easier to lose a gf to death than this sometimes, having experienced both! :happy2:

[paulywogg]

Re: G man the comeback!

Vent away Mr.G! I call my thread "free therapy" haha

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

Hey Pauly. haha. You really want me to come over there and talk my BS?!! lol.

[Glass Half Empty]

Re: G man the comeback!

I got hurt very badly a long time ago and decided it was safer to be alone. Then I was talking to a friend the other day and suddenly realised - Sh*t, it's been nearly twenty years and I forgot to get a boyfriend.

C'est la vie!

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

Glassy. You rock. AND......you have kids already. From my simple but at times worldly G man perspective, you have absolutely nothing to lose putting yourself out there and seeing what's what. I know from experience being a serial 'isolationist' over the years, that i can get caught up in my own thoughts and incorrect unreal BS. When i actually break free and get out there and amongst things, even something as simple as a run in a park, i usually think to myself.....G man, this is fkn ace! Feel the breeze, look at the colours, the people, the single chicks. There is life outside ourselves, and it will surprise. Just a reminder to me mainly, gorgeous lady.

[lifechange]

Re: G man the comeback!

Hey Mr. G,
so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. you're dealing with it well.. trying to get your head in the right place while letting yourself feel the pain. it's good to vent here! it's your thread and you can do what you want, right.. and this is so important with regards to your sobriety... i think the best advice i've received on the matter is not to forget that it takes time to heal. something we all know, but we forget while in the midst of pain. not beating ourselves up for feeling what we're feeling or for it all taking longer than we think it should. i know, easier said than done..i've found that not having contact with the person for as long as necessary does help. big hugs!:hug:

Xpost!

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

Hey Mr. G,
so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. you're dealing with it well.. trying to get your head in the right place while letting yourself feel the pain. it's good to vent here! it's your thread and you can do what you want, right.. and this is so important with regards to your sobriety... i think the best advice i've received on the matter is not to forget that it takes time to heal. something we all know, but we forget while in the midst of pain. not beating ourselves up for feeling what we're feeling or for it all taking longer than we think it should. i know, easier said than done..i've found that not having contact with the person for as long as necessary does help. big hugs!:hug:

Yeah, i think you're right on there LC. And especially you having similar experience. thanks, i appreciate your words. You too Glassy.

[RunningCourage]

Re: G man the comeback!

Glassy. You rock. AND......you have kids already. From my simple but at times worldly G man perspective, you have absolutely nothing to lose putting yourself out there and seeing what's what. I know from experience being a serial 'isolationist' over the years, that i can get caught up in my own thoughts and incorrect unreal BS. When i actually break free and get out there and amongst things, even something as simple as a run in a park, i usually think to myself.....G man, this is fkn ace! Feel the breeze, look at the colours, the people, the single chicks. There is life outside ourselves, and it will surprise. Just a reminder to me mainly, gorgeous lady.

Yo Mr G... There are some things you write and I go, wow... that's what I'm doing... like being an isolationist. Have been doing that too long. I know... and I know what I should do to get out there again and meet people - including, perhaps, maybe a lovely lassie. When i broke up from my last relationship... about 5 or 6 years ago now... I felt so bad (guilt, I'd broken it off)... and remember listening to Admiral Fallow (awesome scottish band) at the time and there's a song 'These Barren Years' with the line, "how long will this last, these barren years?" and I remember thinking "these will be my barren years"... not sure if I was joking with myself or if i felt so bad that i thought, f*** i'm so shit at this relationship stuff, it's best for me and everyone if i stay single...

... honestly didn't think that 5/6 years on those barren years would be a very real fact!!

I gotta get out there and say hello a wee bit more. Because you are right, Mr G, there is life outside ourselves, and it will surprise.

Grab life by the balls

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

Top of the morning from the beach pad pilgrims.

I've had those barren years too RC. This current feeling inside my stomach and heart is exactly the same as my last barren years run about 10 years ago. I don't want to go there again. Horrible place. But i know i need to let the feelings be and pass through. I can't complain too much really. It was a short but great experience and i will get over it sooner rather than later. I'm off to the 3 Principles thread to read some stuff and check out some links to get my head in the best place it can be at least. Back on the sober train.

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

Some more thoughts and journaling to hopefully feel a bit better -

What am i thinking/feeling today? I feel like a beautiful, hopeful, glorious tap that was turned on, has just been suddenly abruptly turned off. Yep, part of me thought it all too good to be true, but another part of me opened up to loving and being close to someone again after many years. Then it's gone. No-one is to blame. Nothing new in human history, plenty of these stories, so i'm not alone. I feel sad, lost, scared, doubt, hopeless. At least i can see that a big part of me doesn't want to dwell in this space for long and today i'm going out for a little run in the rain, and shift my perspective and get out of my head for awhile. I've spent the last 6 days in pain dwelling on this event, and i reckon that's enough and about all i can stand to be honest. Today I will use some skills i've built and learned here to get through today. It's about time i use my thoughts for me, not against me!

I'm going to hospital for some surgery thursday (nothing serious) so that should distract me for awhile.

Git it Gman. K? K!

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

More journaling!

Back from gym and a gentle run on the beach followed by a dip in the freezing bay. Feeling a little better for it, but by no means out of the fire yet. i stoppedI'm not a religious man, but stopped of at a church and said a little prayer/put out some thoughts to whoever might be listening. i asked for my friend to be watched over and for safe travels. i asked why was she sent my way then leaves a few weeks later, but ultimately expressed gratitude for the great time spent with her. Who knows what may or may not happen when she returns here in a few weeks. Will she have missed me, and reflect on her own words that she's never been treated so well, and that i make her feel good? Wishful thinking maybe G man. Steady on there fella. Things ended ok and amicably and i'll probably bump into her at work again later this year, so maybe some good vibes and attraction could fire up again? Maybe i'm in denial. but i am trying to accept the situation and move through.

Reality check - She has called it off, but also said she might regret this decision and that she'll miss me heaps and is very attracted to me. Sheesh! i gotta accept what has occurred either way. Speculation is for chumps! All i know is that i need to get back to living well and kicking arse in my own life and not worry about anyone else.

[lifechange]

Re: G man the comeback!

Thanks, G-man.. I'm hoping for an easy day.
You hang in there.. you're doing the right thing. Feeling the feelings but moving forward at the same time. Looking out and taking care of yourself. Big hugs, lots of love and strength to you!

[Guitarista]

Re: G man the comeback!

Thanks heaps LC. Hope today goes well.

More journaling. - Still hurting here this late tuesday afternoon, but i am staying the course and trying to keep myself distracted. Sitting with the emotional pain and just breathing, some meditating, and trying to let it all go. Difficult, but hanging in. Logic tells me there is absolutely nothing to stress about, so pursuing this line of thinking too.