OK I am back..because I don't know what else to do

[Hanna]

Thank you so much moss. I. Also responded in newbies nest. The support is incredible. I am not so good at asking for help. But need and really appreciate it. I plan to stick around.

[See the Light]

Hanna- No matter what you are feeling, do understand that there are folks here who have been where you have been. You are not alone this, and recovery IS possible. MWO will be here to support you through your recovery.

[Hanna]

Thank you, thank you all...been a really tough week for me, was up very late last night crying my eyes out to mu husband....who has watched me struggle for years. Thank God he is not much of a drinker. How he puts up with me....ugh. The shame

[treetops]

Hi there Hanna - we all know how tough that week can be and good on you for dealing with this - and talking to your hubby. My partner also watched me struggle for years, and saw many many tears. He also hardly drinks. While he was supportive of me quitting ( he really wanted me to) I found that he couldn't really understand what I was going through as much as those who are also addicted and abuse AL did. Thats why MWO was so helpful. I also found that posting here and listening to other's stories and advice meant that I wasn't dumping so much on him. After all, he had heard me say I would stop so many times in the past.
Take special care of yourself during the weekend and don't wallow in the shame. A little self-shame may help (it gets us motivated sometimes) but it can also be crippling and counterproductive. Take pride in your little achievements and also in the lovely small things you start to notice more as you learn to live a sober life.

[Hanna]

Ok. I didn't really get the chance to complete my thought...and my tears... When I ended my post. As I tried, between tears, to express to my husband... I would/will do anything to deal with this issue of drinking, and have tried so many things.... I am frustrated for sure, but absolutely not convinced at all that by doing something "more public" would be of any more help. It is SOOO clear to me, based on the comments I hear from people all the item, that there is still such a judgement issue about drinkers, and it dis so painful. Oh my God, I work in the mental health field and have colleague psychologists who don't know my problem talk about someone else with this issue dripping in judgement. It is heartbreaking to me. I don't know if any of you can relate. Oh I have more with this, but won't bore you. Thing is this,IF I felt certain that doing something that would "out" would also help me, I would do it, but I am absolutely not certain that would be any more helpful than anything else. This is so hard. And I have had a very tearful, lack of week sleep. Thanks for listening.

[Hanna]

Sorry, just read this. Lots of typos, auto correct mistakes. Hope you got the gist.

[NoSugar]

Hanna, you can do this. Many if not all of us have felt the despair and hopelessness you're describing. Like you, my profession made it seem even worse that I would have ended up in this trap. I felt like I should have known better. I also was/am unwilling to be public about it. So - I put all my energy into making MWO work. It did, and it can for you, too.

Have you read through the toolbox? It is full of ideas and inspiration.

All the best, NS

[Hanna]

Thank you no sugar. Sorry I missed you in chat. And thanks for the PM. And of course, for your reply to my post.

[Pavati]

Hanna--

I can relate - I am not a psychologist, but I am in a profession where I hear a lot of judgement about alcoholism. I feel like I can't be public either..

But, as someone pointed out to me, at an AA meeting, everyone there has the SAME PROBLEM. So you wouldn't see someone there who wouldn't understand your situation.

We're here for you, too. There is a lot of information about how to get and stay sober here. Stick close, I know you can do this!