...feel like I'm drowning....

[briseus]

I slipped up....

I am dealing with a *great* deal of anxiety and ocd lately...intrusive thoughts...and a general sense of panic...this is what has led to even more of a slip up after doing well enough...and trying to string along my days...
I do realize that continuing drinking will not help these mental health issues...
But today I feel terrified of everything and cannot get out of bed. The only comfort I have is knowing that I can shut these things up/out with alcohol...but I know it's only temporary and makes it worse in the long run.
I haven't felt like this in a long time. I am afraid of being in my own skin.

I do have a counsellor and will be seeing a psych soon.
I am on no meds right now but feel like maybe I should be on something.

How does everyone deal with debilitating anxiety when they quit drinking? Or get passed trying to quit while dealing with this.
Before I had anxiety about quitting in general..and not being able to drink again.
Now I have anxiety because of *everything* going on....and that I will have no crutch...and just..I dunno.

Just need some support and advice on how you dealt with your anxiety or any other issues....and if meds helped you in any way.

[K9Lover]

Dear Sweet Bri,
I am SO SORRY you are dealing with so much. Goodness, the anxiety can be horrible, I can totally relate. Do you have a doctors appointment set up too? I currently take Prozac and my doctor gave me Librium to deal with the anxiety when it really hits. I can understand not liking to be in your own skin, God I have been there! It's such a catch 22 when you want to drink to get rid of the anxiety, but then the drinking makes it worse...
You know you can do this, you've done so well before. We all have set backs. I wish I had more to offer in the way of advice, but all I can say is that the more distance you get between yourself and AL, the better you will feel. Please don't give up. We are here for you. I have complete faith that you can do this!! But please get to a doctor if you can. Keep us posted on how you are doing.
Love,
K9

[briseus]

Thanks K9. You've been there for me since day 1 and I sure do appreciate your kind words and advice.
You're 110% right...it is a catch-22. Because alcohol does get rid of the anxiety (!!) but the next day it is there....a good ten times worse. So it's a vicious cycle.
You are right...I need to distance myself from it. Even though I was 8 months sober and dealing with anxiety still I was able to manage it a helluva lot better then having these bouts of crying and jangled nerves and a right hot mess. :/
I do have a doctors appointment...but for another health problem that has crept up...I will bring it up. I know that they want me to see a psych to diagnose my OCD though and to discuss meds at that point.

I will keep you posted. Thank you. <3

[Eloise]

Yeah, I am so sorry briseus! This really is so hard to do. All I can say is my anxiety has really,really settled down since quitting drinking. You have to live through it, unfortunate, but true.
I had to more or less lock myself in my house for the first few months because I didn't trust myself. After 8 months, which doesn't feel like a lifetime surprisingly enough, I am way more calm than ever. I feel like I can deal with all the problems I am facing, and I do not feel like it is all my fault when things go wrong. Stuff happens.
It is really good you have professional support. Great actually! Wishing you strength for today, it is worth it... hang in there!

[mama bear]

Oh poor Bri...I, like K9 have been on meds for years and they help tremendously. And like Eloise said, professional support is key

[See the Light]

Bri- sorry to hear that. Unfortunately, drinking and anxiety go hand in hand, meaning that people (including myself) have tried to drowned one mental issue (like anxiety) with another (like drinking) and it is never a recipe for success. It's a vicious cycle you cannot win without some change. Seeing a psych is a great next step for dealing with any mental struggles...they may recommend medication and or/ other therapies. I'll assure you they will not recommend drinking as one of them though :exclaim: In the meantime, I have a link below to a thread for some natural supplements that may help ..I personally felt conquering some of my personal mental demons was the critical step to my recovery. It is a process for sure. Hang in there...you want change, so you ultimately will get it.

https://www.mywayout.org/community/showthread.php?90739-Natural-supplements-for-Depression-Anxiety-and-Alcohol-Cravings-Withdrawal

[Byrdlady]

Also don't forget the hypnosis CD's that are available from this site (NO, I don't get paid for endorsing these). I have heard nothing but positive feedback about them. In fact, we had a member about 3 years ago who SWORE by them, then he just faded away from MWO....so I contacted him to see if I could get them (thinking that maybe we could have a library system of 'checking them out') but he would not part with them! I think the set is $115 or something like that...when you consider the cost of AL, mine was a $10 a day habit, it takes less than 2 weeks to pay for them in AL savings alone! Something to think about....all the best to you. Byrdie

[briseus]

Thank you everyone. I really appreciate it.
I know that continuing the self-medicating is really not going to help anything at all. It only makes it all worse in the long run. How sad that I look for some/any relief to just be able to be outside of myself for a few hours. I don't hate life...so why do I feel this way? I do agree and think it's important that I need to deal with the mental struggles or I will always be in this constant loop. My counsellor said that as well the other week. That I need to work on the OCD and anxiety or it will keep leading me to the AL.
Thank you for the link SeeTheLight - I will make sure to check it out. I know that vitamins and supps helped me in the past.
I think because it's a particularly difficult bout that I am going through that I feel like I can't climb out of it....but it's only a feeling, right? It'll pass. I need to work through it.
The hypnosis cds are definitely something to consider and I will think about trying those. Thanks Byrdie.

Thank you everyone.

[Sunbeam]

Bri, just sending you support, you have worked hard and deserve the best.

[briseus]

Thank you so much Sunbeam. <3

[Turnagain]

Hey Bri....wondering how you're doing? I can definitely relate to how you feel. Anxiety is just crippling when you're surrounded by it. It's no wonder that so many people turn to alcohol to alleviate those feelings. It works for a bit, for sure. And then it doesn't. And then there is the harsh reality that alcohol actually compounds anxiety by altering our brain chemistry even more. So how to break out of this vicious feedback loop of despair?


For me, it started with understanding a fundamental truth: I am not the problem - Alcohol - and the damage it causes - is. And that problem is solvable.

You start solving that problem when you stop putting alcohol in. That's the first step. You follow up by cultivating daily repair of the biochemstry that has been damaged. Exercise is a powerful way of righting chemistry gone wrong. So is meditation. And practicing gratitude.

And just as important, repair means we start fueling our bodies with whole, healthy foods and we seek out supplementation as needed to replace what alcohol has depleted. Did you know there is a huge connection between anxiety and a lack of Vitamin B-12? In fact, alcohol makes it difficult for our bodies to absorb most of the B vitamins that are essential to so-called 'mental health.'

There really is hope, Bri. I'm proof of that...along with a whole lot of other people here who have taken our lives back from addiction.

[Pavati]

Hi, Bri:

I am an anxious person, and when I finally quit it was after a week of drinking to excess every night, and I had what I can describe as a full body anxiety attack that lasted at least two days. I drank water, tea and sports drinks, took baths, walked when I could, talked to my mom and husband, and checked in here almost all of the time. I cried, wrote, slept when I could, and cried some more.

I felt like utter shit, and I knew if I drank I would feel better, but at that point I also knew that I needed to quit drinking, and I really didn't want to have to feel like that ever again. So I worked through it.

I am SO much better mentally and physically - I really had no idea how much of my anxiety and other problems were due to drinking. It keeps getting better every month. But sometimes I still get anxiety. What works for me is exercise, eating well, talking to a therapist, breathing/meditation and checking in here.

I hope you find the relief you're looking for, and I hope you let us help.

Pav