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    #1

    Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

    Hello All Who Read,

    I've been here before and am a member of another site which doesn't believe moderaton is possible at all.

    My story:

    I am a 50 year old male who's been drinking regularly since I've been 17, and what I would say is heavily for the past 5 or 6 years (since my Mom died). I can stop for 2 or 3 weeks with relative ease but then something comes up and I 'slip'. Now mind you,if these slips were for a couple of drinks for one or two nights, that would be one thing. But what happens is, that is how it starts out, and then I'm back to binge drinking.

    I really wonder if these incessant returns to binge drinking are a result of the subconscious thought that as an abstainer I can't ever drink again. Maybe if my thoughts tended more towards moderation than abstinence I could re-learn how not to binge. Perhaps I am better off spending more time here and learning to truly moderate.

    I've always held down an excellent job and have never been in trouble with the law, I just tend to drink what I feel is too much. Can moderation be re-learned the way we once did many years ago before we became binge drinkers? Or am I kidding myself?

    Walter

    PS: I am on day 3 of my latest quit after 2 weeks off and 2 weeks on.
    "It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required."

    Sir Winston Churchill
    Tags: None
    #2
    Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

    Hi Walter & :welcome:

    I think ya might have something there....
    I have wondered the same thing myself for quite some time, in fact I'm pretty sure I'm living proof of the fact, that if you tell me I "CAN"T" have something... you're damn sure I'll find a way to get it ...one way or another. It just makes it all that much more appealing, or inticing.

    I've been in & out of AA for & re-hab( in patient 2 x) for years. Makes me really thirsty sitting around talking about drinking!

    I've been here since Jan of 05, and have been moderating pretty well, for the most part. I have had a few rough spots, but I can count them on one hand. I still have the same job, I'm still married, still, have a home, a wonderful Husband...(All of which I was on the verge of loosing before coming here) Basically, I have my life back.

    I know for me, complete abstinance hasn't worked . I've tried it. I'm OK for a few months, but eventually I go back to drinking. I'm around it @ work, also my Hubby brings it home... I know ...excuses. But for me, and Hubby to both survive under the same roof... when I come home from work, and someone is popping open a cold one on the couch next to me, short of commiting HOMICIDE, I think a hving a beer ain't all that bad!

    So for me moderation is working.
    I do take TOPA, as well as L-GLUT, and Kudzu(sometimes), I also do the CD's and exercise a lot, coming here to the boards everyday really helps.. the support is incredible!

    Welcome aboard! Come on over & check out our moderation site if ya like.
    :l
    Judie
    The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

    Comment

      #3
      Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

      Welcome Justme. I love your avatar. Dilbert is just the best! I once was in treatment and doing just fine. We got a new counselor part way through who came in and got on a rant about how if we ever touched another drop we would die. I went straight home, found the scotch which had been put away and had 1 drink and just 1 to prove her wrong. Talk about pigheaded! I think it is an individual decision that people have to come to on their own based on trial and error. Best of luck.

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        #4
        Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

        I think you are right Walter. For years and years, I would abstain only to worry about when I was going to get another drink. If that is your abstinance, you don't get to enjoy the life being AF has to offer. To me it was more than giving up my best friend. It was giving up my life and identity. That is hard to do, but it can be done. Sometimes it takes an event to bring you to the point of quiting. I hope you will be able to do whatever is required at some point and really quit. The drugs, and sups, and CD's, and the whold program works wonders, but the most important part of quiting is inside of you.

        I wish you well my friend,
        bear
        What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
        ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

        Comment

          #5
          Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

          hi Walter:

          Going completely AF sounded just too scary for me. I just knew I would fail so I needed to try taking smaller steps. My goal has been to be DF, or drunk free, and I have done that for 4 months and counting. I think it feels pretty good. I sleep better, my health is better, and I think that is a good start. I hope you find what works best for you.
          Learning to live life on the outside of a bottle. :flower:

          Comment

            #6
            Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

            Hi Walter,

            I'm working on healthy moderation. I feel like I would be setting myself up for failure if I said I could never drink again. I am definitely trying to relearn how to drink like "normal" people can. MWO has been a tremendous help in getting me to think differently and take actions that have led to some changes in my habits. And I''m just in the beginning stages of this process. The wonderful thing about logging on here is I can be honest and open about something that I am ashamed to talk about with my husband and friends. Yet getting out there in the open (via internet) has really helped me face things and WANT change. Good luck on your journey. Again, welcome to MWO!

            Julie

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              #7
              Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

              Thank you all for your comments. :thanks:

              I agree with the consensus that the problem (at least for me) is the thought of never being able to have even one drink ever again (not even a champagne toast at my daughter's wedding) seems too overwhelming and destined for failure.

              I think I'm gonna stick around if you'll have me.

              Walter
              "It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required."

              Sir Winston Churchill

              Comment

                #8
                Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

                Welcome aboard I look forward to your post
                bear
                What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
                ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

                Comment

                  #9
                  Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

                  Good to have you with us.

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

                    Just Me, Just Checking In,

                    I had some dinner guests last night and had some after dinner drinks after a 5 day abstinence. Another site that I frequent would consider this a slip or relapse. Isn't this a normal event? Wouldn't anyone have a couple of after dinner drinks in this situation.

                    I'm not sure where I'm going with this, so any comments are welcome.

                    Walter
                    "It's not enough that we do our best; sometimes we have to do what's required."

                    Sir Winston Churchill

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

                      Hi and welcome!

                      My ex gave the ulimatum, if one drink....

                      Well now he's the ex, and I'm getting it together, and finding that I'm doing much better with the help and inspiration here. I think of these people as my dear friends.

                      And I'm not going to give up trying, never! It's all good!!

                      Welcome again! love Jas
                      :thanks: :h

                      Comment

                        #12
                        Just Me's Thoughts and Musings

                        DF... what a great goal!

                        I moderate pretty well. thought I would have to go 100% AF when I first got here, but I do the whole programme including 200mg topa and it works for me. have had a few wobbles but nothing serious. am a whole bunch better than where I was 4 months ago. this is a good place. I'd say moderation is wholly attainable for some people, but it is a very personal choice.

                        good luck

                        rip x

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