I'm tired and angry

[MossRose]

I want to scream. I want to punch something. I HATE CANCER. First, my mom, then my brother, then my SIL, and now my best friend. The person who has been by my side for 40 years. My soul sister? Really?? You couldn't leave her alone, you fucker???

Wow, Cancer, you've been very busy this last year. You left my brother without the ability to speak. My sister-in-law has congestive heart failure from the chemo, and still has more to go. My mother is minus a kidney. Now my dearest friend? What do you plan to extract from her? Tell me. Because I really want the fight. I want to kick your teeth in.

Well, friends, you may wonder where I disappeared to. Part of it was that I didn't want to be a "problem child" here anymore, and part of it was that I have been very ill lately and am now just recovering. But some of it was just that I just got very tired and started to isolate. I went back to work today for the first time and it was nice. I was there for about six hours when I got the news that my oldest, dearest, most cherished friend in the world is sick. Very sick.

I can't deal with this. I have nowhere else to go to vent. So here I am. Sorry.

[available]

Vent away MR that is what friends are here for. I am sorry to hear about your friend, it makes you wonder what the fuck else can go wrong. Hope you are on the mend but do yourself a favour MR, post on here to just check in. Isolating, stress, tiredness can all lead to a relapse. You dont need that lovely one. Hugs to you.

[techie]

Yes I can relate. My sister is in a coma battling a very aggressive case of lymphoma and has had massive seizures prior to brain surgery to mitigate the symptoms. Currently she is non responsive. Has not opened her eyes or uttered a word since January 5. I struggle with it all. Perhaps we all have a soul agenda!

[MossRose]

Hi Ava. I'm in some serious pain. This isn't just any friend. I honestly don't know how I would navigate life without her. She was actually comforting me tonight!! How f'up is that? It's colon cancer. I just don't know where to go with this. Thanks for listening.

[MossRose]

Techie, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. I just hate cancer so much. Every time I turn around, someone else I love is diagnosed. I'm sorry for being such a cry baby.

[paulywogg]

So sorry Mossy vent,vent,and vent some more!

[available]

If we dont vent MR we will just burst at some point. You also need to look after yourself too please. I am so very sorry about your best friend but try and have some hope that she will be okay. If we dont have hope we have nothing.

[available]

Techie so sorry to hear about your sister also.

[sunshinedaisies]

Oh gosh Moss - how sorry am I to hear what you are going through ..... life just seems to be really bad for so many of us right now. I am so drained from stuff I am going through and saw your name so clicked on the post - I am SO sorry - but vent here - we are all here for you. Feel free to PM me if you want ... I cannot do anything except offer an ear .... but I am here for you,

hugs, sun XXX

[BeachGirly]

Oh man....
Sending positive thoughts to both you and your friend.
Glad you are back !

More positive vibes to Techie and sister as well!!

[abcowboy]

Moss, for what it's worth, my helper's dad, a good friend of mine as well, had colon cancer.... after surgery, 6 months of chemo, he is now on the road to full recovery...hope it ends just as well for your best friend! My thoughts and prayers are with you both... :hug:

[Spiritfree]

Hi Moss -Just damn. So sorry to hear your huge bad news. But nothing is over till its over. Please keep posting. Energy and peace to you doing your trial times.

[Kailey]

I couldn't be more on the same page with you. My lovely daughter. Mother of three young children. After she watched her dad die from the same thing. There's no wrapping your arms around this kind of shattering pain. I'm so sorry Mossrose and Techie. I want to break something, too.

[Eloise]

Very, very sorry to read this MossRose. And yes, I did wonder where you were?
To say this is a hard to take is meaningless, really makes you wonder how are you supposed to deal with all this?
You vent away. Wishing you the best Moss.

[MossRose]

Oh Kailey - I have no words, so just sending all my love.

Cowboy - as always, just the words I needed to hear. Thanks.

My rant is over. My family has been hit hard in the past six months, but so have many others. Every day, I hear of someone else being diagnosed with this plague...a co-worker's child, my cousin, old friends, new friends, etc....it really does seem like it's almost every day. Something just snapped last night. I knew I needed to get this anger out of me before I tried to drown it.

She needs me now. Take care everyone.