One Step at a Time - March 2015

[Lizann]

Morning my loves!
Dottie, going to see mama sounds like a fun idea! What I wouldn't do for a little sunshine right now. This weather is sooo depressing!
Pauly, how are you doing? I'm going to half ass it on my treadmill later! Wish I could get out and walk, but it's raining.
FYI is supposed to snow here on Friday! Somebody shoot me!
Bird, late again huh? CJ was very late today too. I woke up late yesterday too and punched in ten minutes late. Nobody cares. Sorry about pouncer. We "clean" Lucy whenever she goes out. She's in my bed so. . .
Mama I'm home your home, let's do breakfast! What are you doing to fill your days? Loved your purchase yesterday, very nice.
Sun, it's fine if you don't PM me. I'm a bit nosy and I don't need to know everything! What color was your kitchen? We just gave our kitchen a facelift and I love it. Gray, black and white. I don't want to get it dirty now.
K9, how are you holding up. Stressful time for you I'm sure. How's Sierra?
Nora, check in honey. I see you on fb, are you doing ok?
Today is my daddy's 86th birthday! Him and mom just want a quiet day at home. She made all his favorites. We'll pop in later. Love my daddy.
Enjoy your day guys. Seems like everyone is talking about drinking today. Not me! I'll check in later

[paulywogg]

Hey all, Dots you really should consider visiting Mama, the only problem I see is who would care for the dogs, Liz,you're bright and chipper this morning, give me some haha,Nora,check in, don't be so stuck up haha,woo-hoo on 4 years Red gotta get Brady to school, back later

[Dottie Belle]

Hello all,
I didn't sleep and woke crying. This is just horrible and I am not coping well. My life is just a mess and it was so happy and we had such plans together and now I am alone and struggling to get through each day. I know he wouldn't want me to suffer but he was my life and I only see darkness and sadness in my future. Pleas pray for me ladies I am just so messed up right now.
mama thanks for the offer but I have no place to put the dogs to even think about going anywhere. In time maybe but I have so much to do here with selling the house and other legal crap. I haven't visited my dad in over a month. And I have resentment there too. Why is he still here and my loving husband is gone. My dad and I were never close. He was cold and controlling and drank way too much and was not very nice to my mother so why is the best man ever gone and he is still here. I just dont understand anything.
I am not going to the Wednesday class either. I cant commit to anything right now. She will just have to find another helper. I can barely get myself together as it is and to need to be there early etc is just not working for me right now. Nothing is working for me right now......

[K9Lover]

(((Dots))) I wish I could give you a real hug! I know it's not fair that your beloved hubby is not here anymore. You have been so strong, what you're feeling is a natural part of the grieving process. You will get through this, and we will be here for you!

Mama - Can I come and live with you? LOL I don't have a broken rib, I think it's just a really bad strained muscle. I didn't go to the doctor or anything, but it feels better today. I'm sure this weekend will bring all the pain back. I am supposed to be in my new place on Friday. If I can just get through this weekend I think I may survive. Sierra is doing better...she went to psychiatrist yesterday and he gave her new meds, but then she couldn't sleep. Today she has therapist appt at 2...

How are you Pauly?

Dang, gotta go...back later!

[NoraC]

Haven't even had a chance to read back. But I did want to check in. Been so busy getting ready for this audit. But, it will be over one way or another on Friday.

Love & hugs xxxxx

[mama bear]

Oh Dots....I understand
I woke up at five and have been baking cookies and cleaning,....I could get used to this.
Glad you are feeling better Niner.....
Hi everyone else....
gonna flop for a bit

[Nursie]

Just wanted to check in and say hi to everyone. Dottie, I am so sorry about your husband. Please know my heart and prayers are with you.

Me, I'm ok I guess. I still have 8 more weeks of chemo and then 6 weeks of radiation. Then a year of herceptin infusions. I have been up and down with depression. Grieving the loss of my mother while fighting this fight is insurmountable. I thought that alcohol would no longer be an issue as I was so sick from the surgery and chemo. But I was wrong. I have chosen to drink a few times on days that I was feeling good and I feel like I'm sabotaging by body.
I know I shouldn't be drinking for so many reasons. I just have to focus on being as healthy as I can and stay away from the wine. I don't know why it has to be so hard.
Yesterday was my deceased brother's birthday. I wonder what he would do if he saw me like this, bald and depressed. :/ I miss my mom and wish she was here to help me through this journey. But sadly I know that she couldn't handle it and that's part of the reason why she overdosed and died just two weeks after I was diagnosed.
I want to be strong, but it is hard. I do remain positive many days but sometimes it is all so overwhelming that I just stay in bed and watch Netflix.
Did I tell you I got a doggie? I got a little chihuahua and she has been such an incredible source of love and comfort every day. She's my little shadow.
Well, I'm going to finish cooking dinner and read back.
I have missed you!

[Dottie Belle]

Nursie so good to hear from you. I am so sorry you are having to go through this. Please stay with us and post. WE have missed you!!

[paulywogg]

Nursie! So good to see you sounds like you're keeping your head up regardless of everything, we miss you a lot,thanks for checking in

[Lizann]

Nursie, I have missed you! I am so sorry things are so hard for you right now! I did not know about your mother either, I am so sorry. Those little flurries heal the heart! I am hoping that things start getting better for you. I'm glad that some days are good.
So windy here today. I was going to walk Lucy, but not with the wind. It would blow her away. Ran on the treadmill. I suppose it's going to be nice out one of these days.
Mama, I would bake, but then I'd just eat it. Erin is the baker in the family, an art I never mastered, much to my mother in laws chagrin.

[mama bear]

HI NURSIE!!! I keep up with you on FB and you look great. I saw your brothers pictures yesterday and I am sorry your heart is so heavy. Know that you are loved here.
I just ate some chicken wings and am chilling. I only have a few days left to be off. Wahhh!!
Lots of love to you, too, Dots.
What color did you paint the kitchen Sun?
wine in the frig and it is killing me but I am not touching it....

[mama bear]

Hope you survive the audit Nora!
And Nursie....feel better. Sorry about the drinking...we all get it!

[mama bear]

does no one check in at night anymore???
morning love bugs!!!

[Rusty]

Quick check-in for me! I have just returned from MA/NH/ME and now I am leaving for MN so I am REALLY short on time.

Nursie-thank you for checking in, you brave woman! I got very teary-eyed when I read about your mother's and brother's deaths and I am just so sorry! Don't beat yourself up about the drinking...you have bigger worries, right? I do NOT think your brother and mother would be disappointed in you.

Dottie-I have been reading and like everyone here, I wish I could give you a huge hug in person or find a way for you to escape for a few days. Could someone stay at your house for a couple of nights, and take care of the dogs so you could get away. I totally get your indignant feelings towards your dad. Our dads were very similar, although my dad was not a heavy drinker.

Mama-I wish I could meet you in St. Augustine! I love that place....so cool. Enjoy your last few days off!

Liz-GREAT job on all the AF time!

Nora-good luck on the audit!

Big hellos to Sunny, Recluse, Pauly, Bird, and anyone else I missed. I will be very busy the next few days and may not check in, but you guys are great!!!!

[sunshinedaisies]

Good Morning everyone - MB I go to bed early so would not be around to check in at night and I painted my kitchen a Blah colour as that is what the realtors say they want. I am still finding paint on me too - despite showering !!

Nursie - good to see you and you are doing SO well with everything - I really feel for you with what is going on - on the positive side, you are half way through the chemo, and the rads, after chemo, are nowhere near as bad - more hassle than anything. I felt really tired about 5 weeks into mine and did have some burning but they stopped it for a few days and it went away - after chemo, it is a doddle really !!! Hang in there - you are doing really well. And yes we all understand the drinking !! Love that you have a furry friend too - they can be such a help!

Hey Dottie - how are you doing today? Is anyone with you or are you now on your own? Have you any friends that are popping in on you ? Sorry about the thing with your dad - mine drank too much too which is what eventually killed him - in a roundabout way.

Liz - we had that wind yesterday too - but hubs took one of the dogs for a walk anyway - he hates the wind (hubs not the dog). We are expecting rain today!

Pauly - good to see you here - how are you doing today? How is it going with the AL? I know you were trying again - I am proud of you for keeping on trying - it is so hard!!

Rusty - great that you took time to check in with us - your life sounds absolutely hectic !!! I am such a homebody that it sounds awful to me - do you enjoy all the travelling ?

Hi K9 - bet you will be so glad to get into your new place .... how is it going in the motel? How is Sierra doing ? Is she back at her old school ?

Nora - hang in there - the audit will be over soon - a few more days !! How are you feeling ? How are things going? It was lovely to see you post!

Off over to MIL's this morning - haven't seen her since before I went to UK and need to catch up with her.....

Hugs to all, have a great day, Sun XXX