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I realy screwed up

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    I realy screwed up

    3 days ago I went out drinking and I new my husband was on his way home. When I start I can't start and I always think I can handle it. Thank God I didn't drive home. Fell down several times and ended up with a black eye. When my husband got home I was on the floor with blood everywhere and semi conscious. He took a picture of me and said what a thing to come home to. I haven't had a drink since then and want to stop completely. The only things is that when I feel better I think I can handle it. I feel so bad, guilty and my husband barely talks to me. He is home for 2 weeks so I figured it would be a good start to get AF. I have gone back to my Prozac and hope that will help. Really wish I could turn back the clock, feel soooo stupid.:sad:
    KAREN

    #2
    welcome2.gif to MWO kherriot! You've found the right place if you're looking for help and support! We have all been in your shoes, everyone here will be more than willing to help in any way they can. A good place to get a feel for the forums and people is in the Newbies Nest. It's a great place to introduce yourself and get on your own journey to recovery..
    Quitting and staying quit isn't easy, its learning a whole new way of thinking. It's accepting a new way of life, and not just accepting it, embracing it...
    Worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. Just get through today. Tomorrow will look after itself when it becomes today, because today is all we have to think about.
    Friendship is not about how many friends you have or who you've known the longest. It's about who walked into your life, said "I'm here for you", and proved it.

    Comment


      #3
      Awh, I feel for you.
      Not a fun place to be but at least now it is clear to you what you want/need to do. And you can do it.
      There are so many folks here more than will to offer support and guidance, read all you can. Join us in the Newbie Nest? Check out the toolbox...
      Welcome kherriot!!
      (AF since 17 May 2014) 2 years 5 months sober

      Comment


        #4
        Hey and welcome aboard! There are two GREAT links in my signature line....the Newbies Nest is a wonderful and supportive place to post everyday and the Tool Box is full of tips and coping skills to help you thru the first challenging days!

        As AB said, this is a great place to get rid of this monkey once and for all! See you over in the nest! Byrdie
        All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
        Tool Box
        Newbie's Nest

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          #5
          Thanks Byrdlady, I was on the newbie nest but couldn't figure out how to post. All I could find is "Reply to thread" Can you help. I will try to find the tool Box. Thanks for the reply.
          KAREN

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            #6
            Yes, just hit post quick reply at the bottom right and that will do it! Did you go to the last page for the most current posts? Read back a few pages and get to know us!!!
            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
            Tool Box
            Newbie's Nest

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              #7
              Hi, Kherriot:

              Keep that post and read it the next time you're tempted to drink. Better yet, keep that picture tucked in a journal or something. I have written records of my last few weeks drinking - not a good feeling, but great ammunition if I am feeling weak.

              Welcome to My Way Out - a great place to get and stay sober!

              Comment


                #8
                welcome to MWO !
                I love my family more than alcohol.:h
                Live in the Solution....not the problem

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                  #9
                  Kherriot, so good to have you here. I too have been there. Does you husband know you are not drinking now?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Yeah I had thousands of time when I said never again, but the next time I though it'll be ok it'll be different this time.

                    The only time it can be different is by not drinking.

                    I hope you are ok and stick in here.
                    I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

                    Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

                    AF date 22/07/13

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Originally posted by kherriot View Post
                      3 days ago I went out drinking and I new my husband was on his way home. When I start I can't start and I always think I can handle it. Thank God I didn't drive home. Fell down several times and ended up with a black eye. When my husband got home I was on the floor with blood everywhere and semi conscious. He took a picture of me and said what a thing to come home to. I haven't had a drink since then and want to stop completely. The only things is that when I feel better I think I can handle it. I feel so bad, guilty and my husband barely talks to me. He is home for 2 weeks so I figured it would be a good start to get AF. I have gone back to my Prozac and hope that will help. Really wish I could turn back the clock, feel soooo stupid.:sad:
                      Welcome Kherriot! You are in a great place with great support. You need to be committed and come on here often for support. You said you figure it is a good start...that's true...it is a good start and a good end...when folks get on this site, it usually (I would venture to say always) - means that AL has taken over and it is a battle in the beginning, but when you don't have your own life if your own control, that battle is so worth the fight. You will be surprised how after the first 2-3 weeks things start to feel so much easier. All you can do is move forward, don't look back (except when you need to remind yourself why you should NOT drink!). You can do this!

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Oh ya he knows, he is home right now. He just says I have heard it before and then ignores me. Oh well have to do it for myself first.
                        KAREN

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Kherriot, I really believe that you can reverse most any bad behavior by replacing it with good. I used to have a boss that chain smoked. His office was littered with ashtrays and soda cans with cigarette butts in them. He was constantly outside in front of the building dragging on a cigarette no matter what the weather. He made a resolution to quit one year so that he would qualify for better life insurance. On January 2nd I came upon him outside of the building dragging deeply on a cigarette with a scowl on his face. I asked him if he had already given up on his goal to quit, and he said "No, this is my last one." And it really was! 5 and 10 years later I could barely believe it was the same person. It was hard to remember him ever having been a smoker.
                          AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

                          Comment


                            #14
                            K, that's the way it was for me, too. On the night of Jan 19, 2011, my hubs packed his clothes and left. I don't even remember my last drink....I knew that all my empty promises to quit had finally taken a toll on him...he had heard it ALL before (and he had!). The next morning, he came back to get more clothes and I begged him for one last chance....he told me he didn't think I could do it, that I was too far gone and that he didn't want to be married to a drunk. I gave it everything I had and each day, I earned his trust a little more. Today, we are doing better than ever, but that didn't happen overnight. As they say, seeing is believing. I know that my hubs used to be scared to death that I was going to relapse, but I am strong in my quit, and I am vigilant! As long as I do all I can to maintain this, I'm in the driver's seat. I know that I'm one drink away from losing it all, and that scares the spit out of me. So I have a Zero Tolerance Policy on AL! Not one, not ever! And I'm perfectly ok with that!!! Hugs dear lady, it takes a little time to dig out of this.

                            Hey Jane!!! Byrdie
                            All you gotta do, is get thru this day. AF 1/20/2011
                            Tool Box
                            Newbie's Nest

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