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    #1

    Dealing with bad memories

    Hi everyone-

    I'm still struggling with the old memories of ridiculous stuff that I've done. I've always felt different from everyone else,less than,
    and sort of a "fake" person.
    These memories reinforce the fake aspect, as in when I meet someone I can't help but think "Pfftttt....if you only knew how fucked up I really am".
    Now I'm remembering TERRIBLE stuff from my 20's! Realizing what a horrific mess I was, way back then. I wish I could have seen
    the writing on the wall then.
    My parents were both drunks, 7 kids, 4 out of 7 alcoholics. *sigh* I just have to keep on keepin' on and stay strong.

    SO glad to be back here!

    Ann
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    #2
    Hi Ann

    Sorry you are going through this, yes the cringey memories. What I do is just accept they happened, and I also use them as a reason to say never again. Yes that is part of my life, part of me however I am where I am now and that is what matters.
    I used the Sinclair Method to beat my alcoholic drinking.

    Drank within safe limits for almost 2 years

    AF date 22/07/13

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      #3
      Hi, Ann

      Thus is an interesting take on forgiveness http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/07/...ve-and-let-go/ and the book they mention, The Power of Now, is very helpful. You can find a PDF of the book online.

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        #4
        That is a great link! Thanks!

        And yes these dreadful memories are what abstinence is made of!

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          #5
          Hi Ann, Your post made me think of the fact that many people hate the sound of their own voice when they hear it played back. We are our own worst critics. Do you have unresolved feelings about something? Sounds to me like you've done the time for the crime- an interesting question is how to let it go?

          Here's an article from Psych today on Letting Things Go. Its something I need to learn more about too.

          403 Forbidden
          https://www.psychologytoday.com/articles/201410/let-it-go?collection=162126
          AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

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            #6
            Thanks Jane. I'll check it out. I need all the help I can get! I'm finding it difficult to stop thinking about what my life could have been

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              #7
              Hi Ann -and thank you for your thread.

              Ann, recently, I have been experiencing the same damn thing -looking back- what could have been, should have been, etc. All of this thinking is complete rubbish and self serving. I will say this again, so that at least I can hear it; "we all do the best that we can with what we have at the time we do it." At some point, we all have to eventually end up forgiving ourselves and moving forward. Easy to say, but not easy to do. However, if you truly look at the real picture, there is absolutely nothing any of us can do to change our past. We can only move forward from today -from now.

              Ann, I know what you are feeling and how it feels -and it sucks. But the real course of action now is to move forward. All the other crap really does not matter.

              --SF--

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                #8
                Thank you SF
                You are right. I've been reading some good stuff on the subject.
                Another thing that's weird-when I think about all that mess I think someone should have
                helped me see it. But that's complete bullshit. And I know that.
                I knew it was bad, no one to blame there

                Ann

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