Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Let's start listening to one another

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Let's start listening to one another

    Last night was uncomfortable. I don't particularly like confrontation, but I think it may be necessary at times. Reggie - please stop deleting your posts. Your concerns are valid. Your delivery needs work, but you are entitled to your opinion. Anyway, I joined MWO because I thought it was a open minded community of people who would support others in their quest to find a way out. Their.Way.Out! I chose not to attend AA because I am not comfortable with a one-size-fits-all philosophy - particularly when it's applied to something as important as the decision to drink or not drink AL. I personally needed the abstinence support. I was going to die, so quitting was my only option. That may not be true for others.

    I was going to be a coward and just walk away from MWO. But then I realized that this is an opportunity, actually a plea, for us all to get along, start talking, and most of all start listening to one another. I don't mean to sound like a Pollyana. I may not like what you have to say, but that's what keeps us limber and open to new ideas. I want to hear what others are doing, not doing - success or failure - I don't care. I just want to know. Most of us don't get that experience because we stay in a few safe threads. We really are all in this together, yet we have divided ourselves into factions. I hate it. Differing opinions keep us sharp. Complacency makes us weak. But let's stay respectful. Debate is good. Fighting is not.

    Now for the really controversial part of my post. I was originally sold on MWO because I read the book, bought into the program, and thought I had found the solution of my dreams. Obviously, I am a freaking alcoholic and there is no solution other than to stop drinking (sigh), but when I first showed up here, I was on board. I bought the supps and I tried to find a doctor who would off-label prescribe the meds. I was unsuccessful on the last part. So I had to rely on the supps. But I digress. My biggest complaint right now is that RJ remains silent. She is still selling the program, but won't weigh in. I find her silence disturbing. Either the program didn't work for her and she needs to own it. Or the program did work for her, in which case, she needs to come back and defend it. I am curious. It doesn't mean I will suddenly try to moderate, because I know myself. But I think it would go a long way to healing the divisiveness and animosity among threads on this board. RJ - I am asking politely. Please let us know what you have learned. I think it will help all of us. I'm a supporter of MWO in all ways, so I'm asking you to do the right thing. Talk to us.

    Respectfully,
    Mossrose
    Everything is going to be amazing

    #2
    Mossy,:happy2: you are one of my favorite people here...and I applaud you for starting a very thought-provoking thread.

    Did you send RJ a separate message, or start a thread that was directed only at her? Because if you didn't, chances are she won't see your pleas for her valuable input.

    Just saying this as someone who is quite fond of you.

    xoxoxo Rusty

    Comment


      #3
      Rusty,

      Hi my favorite neighbor. No, I didn't send her a private message. I have been thinking about this for a while. I think it would helpful for all of us to have her respond on a public thread. I love RJ. In many ways, she saved my life. This post isn't meant to provoke her. Just to get her to respond. We are in trouble and need her guidance. That's all. Hope all is well in your world.
      Everything is going to be amazing

      Comment


        #4
        Mossy,

        I think maybe you misunderstood me. The title of your thread is "Let's Start Listening To One Another" and all I was saying, is that maybe you could title the thread differently and then she would SEE that it was MEANT for HER. That was all I was saying. PLEASE PM me if I didn't get my message across or if you are upset by it. I am always in your corner, Mossy.:happy2::love:

        Comment


          #5
          Rusty - point taken. I could have chosen a better title. However, I am not holding my breath that RJ will respond. That wasn't really my intention. I really do want us all to start communicating. That was the real intention behind my post.

          I'm also playing devil's advocate. I guess I'm testing the waters. Who is minding the shop? Will I be banned? Is that even possible on MWO? Stuff like that. I am a subscriber so I feel I have the right to question the philosophy behind this site. A couple nights ago, I decided to re-read the home page. It hasn't been updated in years. The research is outdated. I want something new. I want something that works. If we are still working off the original premise of this site, then fresh content is seriously needed. I am certain there have been medical advances in the treatment of addiction since the launch of MWO. In fact, I know there has been, but I don't see it here. I am a researcher by trade, so this is something that comes naturally to me. I like up-to-date information.

          Again, I love the people here. I have never been disappointed in the advice or support I have received. I couldn't have made this post a couple of years ago. So that is a testament to what I have gained from being a member of MWO. I am strong now, and questioning, and I don't think that is a bad thing. I may be upsetting the apple cart, but I just want this community to continue to thrive.

          Please let me know your thoughts. If I am just being a royal pain in the ass, and screwing with the status quo - I'll move on. But I hope that some of you will understand what I am saying. It's not out of spite. It's because I think MWO could be great again. But it needs an infusion on energy. That needs to come from the top.
          Everything is going to be amazing

          Comment


            #6
            Hi, Moss

            I've been thinking about this thread since I read it yesterday.

            There has been little updating of the site or involvement of management (other than during the transition) since I joined over 2 years ago. If there were goals to maintain and grow the site, it would need to stay current and have a presence on social media, I think. The money would need to be spent to put MWO on the first page of results on various internet search engines. It does not appear that any of these things are happening.

            It's a shame because more and more research has been done about addiction with findings that could be so useful to people. Detailed information about adjunct therapies and practices could be so helpful. Various members start threads about new information and topics of interest but these tend to disappear after a few days. Certainly it would be difficult for a new person to find them. So that information is just "lost" unless a member happens to come across the thread and give it a bump.

            The toolbox is helpful but so large as to have become unwieldy. It could be culled and organized into useful, labeled sections.

            More threads that include resources could be made "stickies".

            And like you said, there needs to be an ongoing update of the homepage concerning new information about the causes and treatments for addiction.

            I guess I could go on and on about things that I think "should" be done but none of us have the authority (or most likely, the money or time) to do them. Perhaps RJ no longer does, either, for a variety of reasons and this site will be only what the members make it.

            The only solution I can think of is for members to start threads on topics or approaches to our problem they think are interesting or important. There can be room for a diversity of viewpoints. If a person doesn't like the approach being taken in one thread, s/he can start another with a different perspective and if that approach appeals to others, they can join in - sort of a "build it and they will come" Field of Dreams model, I guess. And it that viewpoint doesn't attract a crowd, the person either has to keep it going on his or her own or accept that others simply aren't interested at that time. It does no good to write that other threads and members are taking the wrong approach without offering a viable alternative. And of course personal attacks are never ok - especially in a place of mutual support.

            I hope others do talk to one another here and throw out ideas for energizing the site from the bottom up. It would be great if RJ were to join in and let us know her plans and timetable for the site.

            NS

            Comment


              #7
              I don't think RJ is around anymore, I think us regular posters are what keeps the site going,maybe she sold it off or something? When I read older threads I see her respond to people, we don't see that ever anymore, I dunno what's up
              I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

              I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
              Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

              Comment


                #8
                Hey Mossy
                Before the switch to the new site, it appeared that updating was needed but then the spammers moved in and I am quite grateful at that time that RJ did come around and did facilitate the move, with all the quirks that followed and things got fixed eventually. I have the sense that folks are they are in the shadows, there to help if it becomes a troubled spot again but are probably busy doing other things. I believe we lost a few in transition, and some who had been here awhile have left for some reason or another on the subs thread, which has but died on the vine, NS and I will carry on a conversation for a bit but no one else seems to weigh in. So maybe things ebb and flow, though I don't see too many new faces in the nest.

                The other part that may happen is that folks may read in other threads but only post in a few threads. I certainly read through different threads but post on only a few, and as summer gets crackin I find it hard to take time to really put much into a post.

                Anyway, good topic, thanks for starting it.
                Sam
                Liberated 5/11/2013

                Comment


                  #9
                  Hi Sam and thank you for the thread. With all due respect and concern, I just don't think RJ is earning enough revenue to even pay for the net cost of the site. I genially believe that she is contributing her own funds each month just to keep the site on line. Now granted, I do not know this to be a fact; I just believe it to be the real situation. After all of these years supporting the site, at first making money, and then losing money, I have to believe that she is really doing us all a huge favor by just keeping the site open. She has not turned to heavy duty advertising or required big membership fees. With this said, I am just grateful that she has continued to allow the site to be open.

                  --sf--

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Hey SF,and Sam,well why not some other revenue? I Google other things and pop ups for Advil or claritin,etc pop up
                    I have too much shit to do today and tomorrow to drink:sohappy:

                    I'm taking care of the "tomorrow me":thumbsup:
                    Drinkin won't help a damn thing! Will only make me sick for DAYS and that ugly, spacey dumb feeling-no thanks!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Pauly - I agree with you. I follow a few online communities, and there are ads on all of them. I have no problem with that if it keeps things up and running. I also belong to a subscriber-only community - no ads, but a monthly fee. It's a choice. Spirit, I understand what you are saying, and I do think that RJ is providing this forum as a public service. I doubt it brings in revenue and I am grateful. But I would rather have ads, or a monthly fee, and have a robust site.

                      Thanks all for responding. This is what I was looking for.
                      Everything is going to be amazing

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Mossy,

                        I'm bummed to be hearing recent posts relating to disappointment with the site. More than anything I'm grateful for the site. Without it, I wouldn't have met all of you or had a support network I could rely on to help quit drinking. It is for that reason that I continue to participate on the site. I've looked around, but I haven't found anything I like nearly as much.

                        There is a heavy despite piece to all this, which built up speed and mass during last years spam influx, upgrade/downgrade, requests for donation, requests for subscription, RJ popping in with personal posts then disappearing, Zach, Kelly, responses received randomly when issues have been raised....well respected/long time MWO'ers vouching for RJ's sincerity / well meaning intent to keep the site up and running. (does anyone really know her, are folks just being loyal- does it matter).

                        Nothing that I could find online ties everything together. Capalo Press is one company, Capalo is another, MWO another- and if I recall correctly none can be verified as businesses. I dug further trying to piece together anything from the site to make things add up- I couldn't. My own theory (which stems from comments made by RJ in the My Way Out book introduction)- is that the big business that is in place and tied to MWO is online pharmaceuticals that ship from Canada from countries including Mexico and India. There are a handful of these companies- they have different names, but their websites are identical. MWO has 3 sponsers- Capalo Press (the book & supplements company), River Pharmacy (off shore meds- do a Google search for it and see what comes up), and Rock Consulting, which is Zach's company.

                        I'm sure its safe to say we've all been on the receiving end of pharmaceutical (no scrip required) spam emails. It makes sense that the spam problems MWO was experiencing last year may have been from cross contamination of the email contacts within the individual websites. (Capalo, River Pharmacy + whatever other DBA's are out there). The upgrade/downgrade seemed to fix the spam issue- but apparently at the cost of MWO appearing in web searches.

                        I don't know what is going on, and I wouldn't place any bets on RJ stepping up to interact on MWO on any kind of regular basis for a number of reasons. Maybe she no longer embraces moderation. Maybe she drinks. Maybe she's abstinent. Whatever the case is, the home page and opening statements in the book as well as the content in the Linda Garcia videos- its strong stuff. How would a person come forward and take all of it back, or say I changed my mind? I'm not trying to villain-ize RJ here, but lets call a spade a spade. A lot of shit doesn't add up. The way I decided to move forward under these circumstances was to take the good MWO had to offer and write the rest off as unsolved mystery with suspect for unethical underpinnings.

                        The first time I was shocked was a few years back when someone posted that they intended to commit suicide. Folks scrambled to try and offer support but no one had the persons telephone number or way of reaching out. At no time did moderators interject or comment.

                        So in the end, my feeling is that we haven't stumbled onto a utopia here. There's no such thing as free lunch. Profits are being made in some way that relates to MWO traffic. Maybe RJ, whoever she is, has a soft spot for the website given the cumulative history and lives that it has changed, but I don't believe the modifications to the website were goal oriented to improve the MWO'ers experience. I think the pharmaceutical piece of the business was having serious spam issues that bled over into MWO.

                        So those are my feelings- all founded on internet research which mainly yielded a lack of information substantiating Capalo and MWO as companies, and also made from comments by RJ herself in her book. For a while I resented feeling manipulated and lied to – the numerous posts where RJ has said “I have so much to share!” I stopped trying to figure it out. I just take the site for all the good it has to offer, and try to forget the rest. Its pretty clear to me that the site isn't first and foremost for our benefit. With that in mind, I have lowered my expectations. It'd be nice if I received credit for duplicate charges in January & April. Apparently a 2nd membership was opened up somehow, and I have no idea how that happened. Not going to hold my breath. I hope this post doesn't piss too many people off. I'm surprised that more people haven't made similar comments.

                        I don't expect anyone to jump in and agree with me here, and the purpose of my posting this is not to stir the pot. All this is, is my take on things and the conclusion I've come to, which is that it is what it is. Wishing everyone a good night and hoping I don't wake up next to a horse head. xo Jane
                        Last edited by jane27; May 10, 2015, 02:26 AM.
                        AF since January 7, 2014 *Never, never, never give up. ~ Winston Churchill*

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Hi all
                          You have summed up what I have been thinking for a long time. Great post!!! This is after all a for profit venture.
                          MWO hasn't added anything to new areas of dealing with addiction in years.
                          It is my conclusion that MWO is the members. The support they give each other, nothing more is going on here. That support I will say is the best. That support is what saved me. I don't and haven't expected anything else from this site in years.
                          Stay Healthy and Keep Fighting
                          AF 5-16-08

                          Comment


                            #14
                            As with the rest of life, you take what is useful and leave the rest. RJ has posted a few times in the years since I joined. She no longer drinks. Her book and story gave me hope, that I could find tools and support here to control or conquer my alcohol problem. This has happened, I am grateful.
                            My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Originally posted by jane27 View Post

                              Wishing everyone a good night and hoping I don't wake up next to a horse head. xo Jane
                              Jane - I haven't laughed this hard in a long time. Priceless!! And a very thoughtful post. I am so pleased that people are taking the time to weigh in - one way or the other. This is what I feel has been missing on MWO for a while. Passion!! It's a good thing, and keeps us sharp. Thanks everyone for taking the time to read this post and reply.
                              Everything is going to be amazing

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X